What Do Sikh Women Look For In Men?

Since we already have a thread on what Sikh men look for in women, its only right that we also hear from sikh women. What qualities do you look for in men? This is not exclusive to romantic relationships...what do you admire most about all the men in your lives: fathers, brothers and of course husbands etc?

And what do you admire least? :inca:

OK, my perfect man. Guys, please don't get defensive. Very few, if any achieve perfection.

...to start on the outside and journey inward.

First I look for a full kes and a well-tied turban. I admit, I love the appearance of Punjabi men, but I'm sure the gora Sikhs are quite handsome, as well.

Next, since I am a woman, I prefer a man who respects me as a woman and cherishes my woman-ness. I do not mean this in a sexual-physical way (unless I'm talking about my husband), I mean that we now know that the female brain and the male brain work a bit differently. I promise that if he'll cherish this in me, I'll cherish his man brain, too. (If not, I make no promises.)

He must be interested in social justice and causes beyond his immediate self-concerns. He must be willing to put himself out a little or a lot for what he believes is right.

I keep getting interrupted, so I'll just give a summary.

My ideal man is a real Khalsa with a sense of humour. That's it. A chardi kala Gursikh Khalsa.

My ideal man would be someone who accepted me for who I am. Of course someone with kesh and turban goes without saying!

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I think we all most likely look for similar things. I specifically Love! If a person is able to give you love then there is no need to look for anything else. Love is hard to find but it does exist. Till we find it, we tend to look for personality traits that attract us.

From my experience:

A HUGE










































Bank Balance!

Randip Singh said:

From my experience:

A HUGE










































Bank Balance!

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Unfortunately this is often true. :motherlylove:

I am sure that there are Singhs who would not turn down a rich Singhni welcomekaur

Narayanjot Kaur said:

I am sure that there are Singhs who would not turn down a rich Singhni welcomekaur

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You're joking, of course! All our beloved Singhs are of the highest possible character, far beyond the desire for material wealth. In a wife they are looking only for a life's companion to walk by their side with love and confidence, strong and independent, compassionate and intelligent. A true Khalsa.

And, of course, drop dead gorgeous.

icecreamkaur

Narayanjot Kaur said:

I am sure that there are Singhs who would not turn down a rich Singhni welcomekaur

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Well even a glance of any matrimonial site of India could tell that in any community of India the first pre condition to contact the parents and girl is The financial status and income of boy.Only after that other things come

But in the case of boy the above may not be true.many many boys may prefer to marry fair skinned beauties than marrying rich girls.

so here both parties are have different priorities for life partners.

Oh, my ideal is pretty simple. . . he only has to be gurmukh.

As for preferences, a neatly tied dastar, with kes under that and an intelligent mind under that and a saint-soldier with a radiant heart under that would be a gift to cherish.

As a life-partner, he would have to agree that the reason for joining is to learn about the opposite gender and that agreement about the mundane things in life isn’t likely to come without compromise, communication and cooperation.

As for what I find attractive in a man, intelligence, diligence to duties, purposeful living, selflessness, equipoise, honour, respect and dynamic energy. . . a man on a mission to serve man and God, in which ever way his destiny determines. . . a gurmukh.

What I find extremely unattractive is deceitfulness, arrogance, cruelty, laziness and selfishness . . . these ‘qualities’ are enough to make me want to take a stiletto to his forehead to open up his mind. Clearly, I try to avoid this type for the sake of preserving man-kind, but when I can’t, I become the ‘bigger man’ and attempt to set an example.

ik-jivan said:

Oh, my ideal is pretty simple. . . he only has to be gurmukh.

As a life-partner, he would have to agree that the reason for joining is to learn about the opposite gender and that agreement about the mundane things in life isn’t likely to come without compromise, communication and cooperation.

As for what I find attractive in a man, intelligence, diligence to duties, purposeful living, selflessness, equipoise, honour, respect and dynamic energy. . . a man on a mission to serve man and God, in which ever way his destiny determines. . . a gurmukh.

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How would a man know that he has these qualities. Normally one doesn't know one's achievements. There could be someone out there who's just right for your/one's needs but he doesn't know it, so he settles for a simpler life partner.

these ‘qualities’ are enough to make me want to take a stiletto to his forehead to open up his mind.

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I gulped when I read that......:scared:

But agree those are not desirable qualities....he typed nervously......

What about a man who daily oscillates between 2 extremes of everything?

ik-jivan said:

Oh, my ideal is pretty simple. . . he only has to be gurmukh.

As for preferences, a neatly tied dastar, with kes under that and an intelligent mind under that and a saint-soldier with a radiant heart under that would be a gift to cherish.

As a life-partner, he would have to agree that the reason for joining is to learn about the opposite gender and that agreement about the mundane things in life isn’t likely to come without compromise, communication and cooperation.

As for what I find attractive in a man, intelligence, diligence to duties, purposeful living, selflessness, equipoise, honour, respect and dynamic energy. . . a man on a mission to serve man and God, in which ever way his destiny determines. . . a gurmukh.

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When you find him, please find out if he has a much older, single brother.

kudihug

I can post matrimonial lists from UK Gurdwaras if anyone wants an idea of what sikh females want?

Someone who appreciates you and wants you as a part of their life.
Someone who likes children and is not scared of being a father.
Someone who is strong and protective in heart and mind.
Someone who... is willing to try something new for the other... Perhaps cooking icecreamkaur

For me, I want someone who is not a control freak (who wants to dominate and be head of house etc). I want to be seen as an EQUAL partner in marriage. I also would like a man who is not afraid to help out around the house sometimes (after all men make messes too!) and help with cooking. I have a career, and do not plan to give everything up to become a housewife / maid for a man. So I need someone who will respect that in me, ....that I am a hard worker and will do everything to make both my career life and home life work, but that he should also do the same and help out! Money is not that important to me, but having a good work ethic is. Also I volunteer in the community so it would be good to meet someone with the same ideals. Basically I want to find my best friend, soul mate

I AM attracted mostly to Punjabi guys... always have been. And I prefer full turban wearing with their kesh!

(I had worried that finding a Punjabi man who would also fit the above with helping round the home etc... surprisingly, the men I have talked to, all said they have no problems helping their wives and have no issues with their wives also having a career!) - well all except that one guy I spoke to on FB who said the women's place is cooking cleaning and not have a career.... but he was not a good example!

Someone who... is willing to try something new for the other... Perhaps cooking

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Mine tried that once... many many years ago... the microwave caught fire (foil + microwave = fire) and the end product was massively undercooked.

But it's the thought that counts! hehehe He's pretty good at pancakes though, I'll give him that. :motherlylove:

Guru Fateh to all.

I must admit that none of us men are the Knights riding the white horses to lift you up, and vanish in the sunset with you.

None of us are neither angels nor horned devils/witches, talking about both sexes. All of you have expressed your desires what you need in a man but hardly anyone of you has expressed what you can be for the men you want to love which is sad and appalling for me as a man who has been happily married for 24 years, a proud spouse and a parent of 2 wonderful kids; a girl Jaskeerat 22 and a son Trimaan 17 and mind you, I have lived my life from the age of 16 on my own around the world.

We should be rather talking about what both men and women can offer each other to create a solid foundation for the long lasting relationship. Neither men nor women are products on display as mannequins. It is much deeper than that.

Domestic violence is a very grave thing and sadly the domestic violence against both sexes is ignored or less reported.Think about domestic violence and you think of women, battered by their husband, boyfriend, or a man they used to involved with. Now, think again. Every year in the U.S., about 3.2 million men are the victims of an assault by an intimate partner. Most assaults are of a relatively minor nature such as pushing, shoving, slapping or hitting, though many are more serious - and some end in homicide.

Below, I have given some synopsis and 2 sites relating to the domestic abuse. One can Google more to get better information.

After reading these and others, please share your views and the request goes to both genders. And we have not talked about homosexuality which is not of any one's choosing.

Will be waiting for the input.

Tejwant Singh


National

Domestic violence

One in four women (25%) has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime.
(The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and The National Institute of Justice, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence, July 2000. The Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, 1999)http://www.dvrc-or.org/domestic/violence/resources/C61/

Men often suffer physical abuse in silence because they are afraid that no one will believe them or take them seriously. In fact, some men who do try to get help find that they are mocked and ridiculed. No one would even think of telling a battered woman that getting beaten by her husband wasn’t a big deal, but people often don’t think twice about saying that to a battered man. Many men are too embarrassed to admit that they are being abused.http://www.clarkprosecutor.org/html/domviol/men.htm