- Jan 31, 2011
- 5,769
- 8,194
- 55
Ok, today, I am throwing the towel in, I have been working 14/16 hour days for seems like weeks, but I think its just over a week. Today I am absolutely tired, to the point where I cannot even cycle home, so I am going home with my Butcher friend next door, in about an hour, and I am going straight to bed. All the work is done, the shop has been cleaned, much to the amusement of my fellow shopkeepers,
Monday, I was still annoyed with my nigerian friend, but we had a meeting, so I tried to bite my tongue, he was jovial enough, but I confess, when I am annoyed or troubled, I get very quiet, and as normally I am quite lively, it is not hard to know something is 'wrong'. My friend queried the extra £15 I had charged him, and I explained why that was, he then became irritated, as did I, as I had done much more work for free, and charged only for a few small items, he started to get angry, now, I am not quite sure why, but so did I, and the angrier he got, the angrier I got, which is really quite rare for me, at the end we were screaming at each other, I was not quite sure what to do, so I just repeated what he said to me, but angrier and in even stronger nigerian accent, (not quite sure why I did that), so it went something like this,
me: You have used me (blunt english accent)
him: YOU ARE A LIAR (strong nigerian accent)
me: NO, YOU ARE A LIAR (for some reason stronger nigerian accent)
him: YOUR TIMEKEEPING IS AWFUL(strong nigerian accent)
me: WELL, YOU ARE A FRAUD (really strong nigerian accent)
him NO YOU ARE THE FRAUD
ME: YOU SMELL
then there was a moments silence, to be honest this game of raise, and see was like angry poker, and had been going on for some time, but I am not sure whether accusing someone from Nigeria of smelling is the ultimate insult, but he went completely bonkers, and what followed was 5 mins of very angry shouting and looking at him, it was like he had gone, and someone else had taken his place, I could not compete with this, so after he had finished and was waiting for me to reply, I just stuck my hand out and smiled, he would not take it, I suppose I had said some pretty unforgivable things, seeing as he was in fact a pastor, eventually he took my hand, and said, you think just because I am a christian, and a pastor, I should be perfect, I nodded slowly, he laughed, I laughed, I stood up and put my arms around him, I knew neither of us would eat that night, anger takes a lot out of me, and my friend looked utterly exhausted, as did I,
Looking back, I was a bit like a small child poking something, the eventualy reaction was unexpected, the next day, we were both right with each other again, I said to him, you found Christ because your anger scares you? he answered that he had, as once he got really angry, it scared him, (hey it scared me too!!), so we had another hug,
Did I feel fear, absolutely, but as a sikh, I should not have, well, before I beat myself up over this, what I should not have done was inflame a situation, looking back, he kept saying, please stop saying these things, but I was angry, and not interested in the consequences, the last time that happened, I had a knife pulled on me, do you know how hard it is to make a wisecrack with a knife to our throat?? ( I think I said, now if you put that there, you might cut me, and I have no tissues, whilst doing my best Im not scared smile, which was of course a lie!),
So what have I learned from this, well, if one were to embrace the first 10 lines of Japji, in order to not fear, or not lie, you need to not sow the seeds that cause these things in the first place, to always be true, never do wrong, then you will not have to lie to cover the wrong, to not feel fear, stand up only for something just and worthwhile, but stand up knowing you have the truth on your side.
Monday, I was still annoyed with my nigerian friend, but we had a meeting, so I tried to bite my tongue, he was jovial enough, but I confess, when I am annoyed or troubled, I get very quiet, and as normally I am quite lively, it is not hard to know something is 'wrong'. My friend queried the extra £15 I had charged him, and I explained why that was, he then became irritated, as did I, as I had done much more work for free, and charged only for a few small items, he started to get angry, now, I am not quite sure why, but so did I, and the angrier he got, the angrier I got, which is really quite rare for me, at the end we were screaming at each other, I was not quite sure what to do, so I just repeated what he said to me, but angrier and in even stronger nigerian accent, (not quite sure why I did that), so it went something like this,
me: You have used me (blunt english accent)
him: YOU ARE A LIAR (strong nigerian accent)
me: NO, YOU ARE A LIAR (for some reason stronger nigerian accent)
him: YOUR TIMEKEEPING IS AWFUL(strong nigerian accent)
me: WELL, YOU ARE A FRAUD (really strong nigerian accent)
him NO YOU ARE THE FRAUD
ME: YOU SMELL
then there was a moments silence, to be honest this game of raise, and see was like angry poker, and had been going on for some time, but I am not sure whether accusing someone from Nigeria of smelling is the ultimate insult, but he went completely bonkers, and what followed was 5 mins of very angry shouting and looking at him, it was like he had gone, and someone else had taken his place, I could not compete with this, so after he had finished and was waiting for me to reply, I just stuck my hand out and smiled, he would not take it, I suppose I had said some pretty unforgivable things, seeing as he was in fact a pastor, eventually he took my hand, and said, you think just because I am a christian, and a pastor, I should be perfect, I nodded slowly, he laughed, I laughed, I stood up and put my arms around him, I knew neither of us would eat that night, anger takes a lot out of me, and my friend looked utterly exhausted, as did I,
Looking back, I was a bit like a small child poking something, the eventualy reaction was unexpected, the next day, we were both right with each other again, I said to him, you found Christ because your anger scares you? he answered that he had, as once he got really angry, it scared him, (hey it scared me too!!), so we had another hug,
Did I feel fear, absolutely, but as a sikh, I should not have, well, before I beat myself up over this, what I should not have done was inflame a situation, looking back, he kept saying, please stop saying these things, but I was angry, and not interested in the consequences, the last time that happened, I had a knife pulled on me, do you know how hard it is to make a wisecrack with a knife to our throat?? ( I think I said, now if you put that there, you might cut me, and I have no tissues, whilst doing my best Im not scared smile, which was of course a lie!),
So what have I learned from this, well, if one were to embrace the first 10 lines of Japji, in order to not fear, or not lie, you need to not sow the seeds that cause these things in the first place, to always be true, never do wrong, then you will not have to lie to cover the wrong, to not feel fear, stand up only for something just and worthwhile, but stand up knowing you have the truth on your side.
