- Jan 31, 2011
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fine, we can now all smugly say that yes, the anti depressant stops the howling hooray.
I am tired, its 8.35pm and I have been at work since 6am, Im hungry, but not hungry enough to walk to the chinese take away to get a meal for 1. Sian is at work, and she has the car, she finishes at 10pm and will then pick me up, so I am stuck here for another 2 hours and then its dog walking time.
I cant even remember what howling is, I have no concept of what being a wolf is, maybe this is what it feels like when you don't play at life and actually live it, people do not stop coming in through the door, I put it down to kirpa, what else can I put it down to, that and the fact that I do try and behave honestly and with compassion when I deal with people, I find it a bit unnerving that my whole personality can change depending on what I am ingesting, but this one seems a lot more peaceful and content than the others, what was it Sian said yesterday, less tortured, yes, the arguing, the screaming, its all stopped, just a heightened sense of what is right and wrong, a gut feeling of what the truth is, and the need to follow it,
I actually fell asleep mid writing this, and have just woken up covered in drool, time to down a red bull and strip the last laptop of the day
I am tired, its 8.35pm and I have been at work since 6am, Im hungry, but not hungry enough to walk to the chinese take away to get a meal for 1. Sian is at work, and she has the car, she finishes at 10pm and will then pick me up, so I am stuck here for another 2 hours and then its dog walking time.
I cant even remember what howling is, I have no concept of what being a wolf is, maybe this is what it feels like when you don't play at life and actually live it, people do not stop coming in through the door, I put it down to kirpa, what else can I put it down to, that and the fact that I do try and behave honestly and with compassion when I deal with people, I find it a bit unnerving that my whole personality can change depending on what I am ingesting, but this one seems a lot more peaceful and content than the others, what was it Sian said yesterday, less tortured, yes, the arguing, the screaming, its all stopped, just a heightened sense of what is right and wrong, a gut feeling of what the truth is, and the need to follow it,
I actually fell asleep mid writing this, and have just woken up covered in drool, time to down a red bull and strip the last laptop of the day
