Do You Think Childhood Experiences Affect Adult Orientation ? Does The EXOTIC Really Become EROTIC ?

[Seeker2013]

There was a small 5 yr old pacific boy who would prefer to play house with the girls rather than go play cricket or football in the ground . Sports scared him . He would prefer softer games like 'playing house' .
His father knowing his interests would only buy him mini tea sets and other mini models of utensils . His parents didn't seem to mind his playing inclinations.

His mother was very protective and aware of his 'soft' nature . His father on the other hand , somewhere on the inside, rejected the boy for his effeminacy.

Playing such games and other sillier games was his preferred way of enjoying his childhood.

He would fail miserably at sports activities in school and therefore avoided them altogether. he anyways disliked sports and had NO INTEREST in it whatsoever except refined sports like golf and billiards (which he couldn't have afford anyways) .

One day at the age of 12 , he develops a crush on one of his classmates . He doesn't have a word for it although to his innocent mind it seems perfectly ok . He doesn't even know anything about sex yet. All he knows is he feels warm, fuzzy feelings for this guy. He keeps thinking about him even after reaching home from school. He just likes to talk to him and "flirt" with him and in turn be flirted back.

He grows up into a man who has NO INTEREST in women, but rather feels on a romantic, emotional and sexual level towards men. But he discovers himself in a world which is not-at-all pleasant from his perspective and for people like him. He discovers he is a minority , in a world which for the most part hates and rejects him. His family, his relatives silently reject him. His govt criminalizes him. His very existence is known but still never talked of ! because its something that should be kept under covers. He is one of the unmentionables . So unworthy is he , worse than a woman in a patriarchal society where heterosexual men call the shots !

(I mean its totally ok if 6 straight men put a rod inside a young woman after raping her in a public bus, and spill her intestines out , leaving her to die naked on the side of the road in chilling winter in capital city . The next day Straight men can still share a rickshaw with their female colleagues without the latter saying "I am not safe with him" to her colleague. But a gay man perved on you in a urinal once in your life. So "we're not safe with him" is the motto you toss out to every gay guy even if you say that in a joking accent ! )

ok , sorry for my rhetoric but the question is
Would you think
1) his childhood gender non-conformity lead to him to develop feelings for same-sex ?? OR was it that
2) he was childhood gender non-conforming because he was gender-atypical to begin with !

what do you think caused what ? or perhaps the fact he was gender non-conforming and same-sex attracted were just a coincident match !



PS: The boy in discussion was me and the theory is known as "Exotic (what is different to us in childhood) becomes Erotic (in adulthood) " !

 

[Harry Haller]

There was a small 5 yr old pacific boy who would prefer to play house with the girls rather than go play cricket or football in the ground . Sports scared him . He would prefer softer games like 'playing house'

There was also a 5 year old UK boy would prefer to try and burn the house down rather than go play cricket and football, people scared him, they were different, he would prefer more interesting things like burning houses.

His father knowing his interests would only buy him mini tea sets and other mini models of utensils . His parents didn't seem to mind his playing inclinations.

His parents knowing his interest, were put off completely having children for another 5 years!

Playing such games and other sillier games was his preferred way of enjoying his childhood.

causing as much mischief as he could, was his preferred way of enjoying his childhood.

His mother was very protective and aware of his 'soft' nature . His father on the other hand , somewhere on the inside, rejected the boy for his effeminacy.

His mother was very protective and aware of his 'mad' nature His father on the other hand , somewhere on the inside, rejected the boy for his stupidity.

He grows up into a man who has no interest in women, but rather feels on a romantic, emotional and sexual level towards men. But he discovers himself in a world which is not-at-all pleasant from his perspective and for people like him. He discovers he is a minority , in a world which for the most part hates and rejects him. His family, his relatives silently reject him. His govt criminalizes him. His very existence is known but still never talked of ! because its something that should be kept under covers. He is one of the unmentionables . So unworthy is he , worse than a woman in a patriarchal society where heterosexual men call the shots !

"]He grows up into a man who has no interest in normal women, but rather feels on a romantic, emotional and sexual level towards lots of women with strange and often illegal fetishes. But he discovers himself in a world which is not-at-all pleasant from his perspective and for people like him. He discovers he is a minority , in a world which for the most part hates and rejects him. His family, his relatives silently reject him. His govt criminalizes him. His very existence is known but still never talked of ! because its something that should be kept under covers. He is one of the unmentionables . So unworthy is he , worse than a woman in a patriarchal society where heterosexual men call the shots

Would you think
1) his childhood gender non-conformity lead to him to develop feelings for same-sex ?? OR was it that
2) he was childhood gender non-conforming because he was gender-atypical to begin with !

what do you think caused what ? or perhaps the fact he was gender non-conforming and same-sex attracted were just a coincident match !

when I was 6, I saw a record cover in a relatives house, I remember it quite distinctly, it had a woman on the front, dressed in leather, a man was bending in front of her, and she had her heel on his back, I remember the feelings I had looking at it, I did not understand them at the time, but at that point I knew I was different, I was not changed, it had nothing to do with my upbringing, I was born that way, with those thieves, with those challenges, and with those potential pleasures, I have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, and its all been a great game, every day I know how to play the game a bit better, to understand myself a bit better, to grow a bit, to have a bit more discipline, a bit more sense, every now and then, when its a full moon, I sit in my living room, waiting for night, and then, when everyone is asleep, I take to the night, and I howl, and I howl till I can howl no more, and in the morning, when I return, with the taste of rabbit blood in my mouth, dirty, tired, I will be free from the howling for a while, you could not take on this madness, no, this is god given, just like yours. or maybe in your case, its god curable, maybe its not a gift to you, like mine is, maybe it was given by one of the devils, and its your duty to rid yourself of it, to fight it, to become a shell, a husk, or you could just enjoy life to the best of your ability, live, and learn about yourself, who you are, what your about, and when you've done that, do me a favour, accept yourself, and then embrace yourself, you have just found out the meaning of life.

 

[Harry Haller]

sing it with pride, one day, if you just try and grow a bit each day, maybe you will

 

[Seeker2013]

I don't understand why you're comparing my case with a psycho criminal.

and what is this howling and rabbit blood you keep talking of always. We could understand what you're saying better if only you used normal language


EDIT ----
by now, you should have known I am not interested in unnecessary philosophy like "finding meaning of life" , etc.
My only desire is either I should migrate to a better place and get a guy for myself or my orientation somehow changed. Basically , I want to be at peace , but not via this "finding meaning of life" thing which to me sounds like a bit of compensation and trying to make things sound in your favor when they're not

 

[Harry Haller]

I don't understand why you're comparing my case with a psycho criminal.

and what is this howling and rabbit blood you keep talking of always. We could understand what you're saying better if only you used normal language


EDIT ----
by now, you should have known I am not interested in unnecessary philosophy like "finding meaning of life" , etc.
My only desire is either I should migrate to a better place and get a guy for myself or my orientation somehow changed. Basically , I want to be at peace , but not via this "finding meaning of life" thing which to me sounds like a bit of compensation and trying to make things sound in your favor when they're not

my apologies, I thought you were trying to understand yourself and were looking for solutions,

 

[Seeker2013]

my apologies, I thought you were trying to understand yourself and were looking for solutions,

actually thats what am trying to do ! -_- but I don't wish to be as boringly philosophical as you're .
sorry , no offense

 

[Harry Haller]

actually thats what am trying to do ! -_- but I don't wish to be as boringly philosophical as you're .
sorry , no offense

none taken, we all do what we can to stop hating ourself, I hope yours works for you

 

[Ambarsaria]

Seeker2013 ji thanks for

You have asked the following questions:

1) his childhood gender non-conformity lead to him to develop feelings for same-sex ?? OR was it that
2) he was childhood gender non-conforming because he was gender-atypical to begin with !​

One of the mysteries of life is that not all is known. It is not unknown for people of same sex showing affection towards each other. The pubescent age of 10 or so plus initiates tremendous chemical changes in our bodies. At such juncture probably experimentation, etc., in subjects sexual can occur and it is impacted by the sociology-cultural as well as the family set up. Physically, apart from some under cover anatomical differences there are few differences between boys and girls at that time. Question you can pose to yourself is if you were in co-ed school and you could easily would have been flirting childishly with same age girl. With More restrictive the environment, more strongly the people will break one way or another. Simple concepts/feelings could develop into obsessive attitude and behaviors whether internalized or outwardly displayed. It can also possibly lead into obsessive desire to prove righteousness of one's ways as one grows up and matures past teenage years. Your questions almost point to the fact that you are looking to justify how you are based on one or more positive answers to your two questions. You can look at all combinations (there are 4) of yes/no answers to these questions! I want you to ponder if the answer to both your questions is NO and NO what will be your future line of thought! I am not proposing that NO/NO is the right combo but when one wants to be honest with oneself then even the unpalatable ideas need to be considered.

Are there forks in the road to determine attraction toward same sex or opposite sex for the rest of one's life? Science and sociology from what I know have not nailed it down. Using phrases like gender atypical, etc., does not lead to an answer but simply creates a way to categorize the question.

It is a given that you me and all around did not come about from same sex relationships. So humanity and the human race grew in numbers out of heterosexual relationships. Question gets raised again if at some point in human race growth, just the sheer growth in numbers will create attributes in the population where not all need to be involved in procreation! Is this a built in safety valve to cap uncontrolled population growth! I have no answers but it is a very fascinating subject in itself. I know disease like aids, pollution, our abilities to develop weapons so we can destroy millions of each other continue to progress unabated. Would we eventually go extinct at our own hands or there is an asteroid hurling towards us to help us return to the base atoms and photons that form the basis of all!

I realize for you it is a question of great personal interest. However I wish I could share with you anything based on facts but unfortunately I am not aware of such. I have given you some logical thoughts and ideas and I have no interest to prove you are right or wrong as to how you are or want to be.

Sat Sri Akal.