General Freeing Sikhi From Punjabi "Imperialism"

[rasingh1]

I was born in Punjab.

I came to the US about 7 years ago, after high school. I keep the 5 Ks, but have not yet taken Amrit. I draw looks wherever I go. Sometimes curious. Mostly hostile. The hostility arises from ignorance. Our community has done a bang up job of keeping Americans ignorant about us. Someone needs to get a medal for that.

After all these years, I have come to the conclusion that our religion is under the yoke of an imperial power known as Punjabi culture. I have lost count of the number of Indian Hindu friends who gape at me when I tell them that I do not drink alcohol.

I guess I should give you some background about why I think the way I do. About three years ago, when I entered grad school, I met a girl from Philly. I liked her. She liked me. She was not Punjabi, but came from a hard working ethnic Irish family. We dated. We never did anything physical, so no violation of the Rehat was involved. Try telling that to the Granthi of the gurudwara I used to go to, though. The fellow is in the US, but does not speak a word of proper English. Someone's case for a medal is getting stronger.

Getting back to her. She taught me how to cook some American dishes. I taught her everything I knew about Punjabi cookery. About a year ago, she told me that she was serious about me and my faith. I held off on on the engagement because there was something at the back of my mind that told me to be cautious.

There is a nice little informal Gurudwara in the neighboring town which is run by white Sikhs from New Mexico. You can guess why we decided to go there. She took Amrit that day. I promised her that I would take Amrit the day after we met both sets of parents.

I met her parents that weekend. They were concerned about me. But her mother was very gracious. Even went as far as making a special dessert for the dinner.

We flew up to NY to meet with my parents. I had already told my parents that I was bringing home a girl I liked, and that she was not Punjabi, but was going to become a Sikh (this was two weeks earlier). They did not sound very happy about it, but did not create a fuss.

What happened next is one of the worst episodes of my life. My parents, sisters were all insistent that I stop seeing her. Called her some choice names to her face - names that no decent woman should ever have to listen to. My brother tried to intervene, but the damage was done.

The upshot. My to-be fiance, who changed her faith, learned how to cook my favourite food, learned our language, possibly got into some trouble with her family, was humiliated by people I love and care for. For the crime of loving me. All because she was not born in Punjab. Or had no Punjabi DNA anywhere in her heritage.

I offered to disown my family. She would not have any of it. We broke up after a painful two weeks. She wanted to add another family to her own, but it was not to be.

Someone forgot to give my uber-Punjabi family the memo with the words :

Maanas ki jaat, sabhe aike pacchaan bo.

Since then, my mother has pestered me with bios of one strange woman after another. Apparently, they have the right DNA. Coming on the heels of this traumatic time, I am not interested any more in this. At least now. I have begun to hate the one I have.

Are these people any better than a Punjabi version of the KKK ?

Maybe I will never marry, or have kids. My viewpoint on this entire matter has been irrevocably colored by this experience. I just want to make sure that this issue of Punjabi racism, which shames me, is not pushed under the carpet, and my brothers and sisters in faith are aware of this and work to oppose it.

I know where I went wrong. It is easy to be wise after the event. I just hope that my experience can serve to help someone who feels the way I do, but is too nice to speak out against this.

What is the best way in which we can free this beautiful and precious thing called Sikhi from this monstrosity called Punjabiyat ?

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa,
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

Ranjeet

 

[vsgrewal48895]

Dear Ranjeet Ji,

It is a very sensitive subject and I being a father of 3 sons and grandfather of 10 grand children had some experience on the subject but I will not be comfortable to advise you on the forum. You can communicate with me privately. For the present here are my two cents;

FORTITUDE/ਸਮਰਥਾ​

ABSTRACT​

The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even the fear of death. It helps us in facing many trials and persecutions. It disposes one even to renounce and sacrifice his life in defense of a just cause. Fortitude is the guard and support of the other virtues. Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

ਰੋਗੁ ਵਡੋ ਕਿਉ ਬਾਂਧਉ ਉਧੀਰਾ ॥ ਰੋਗੁ ਬੁਝੈ ਸੋ ਕਾਟੈ ਪੀਰਾ ॥

Roug Vadou Keo Bandhou Dheera, Roug Bujhai So Katai Peera.

The disease is so deadly, how can I find the courage? Akal Purkh knows my disease, and only It can take away the pain. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Basant, AGGS, Page, 1189-6
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Fortitude is defined as a moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life. It is stubbornness in the face of overwhelming odds.

ਕਾਮੁ ਕੋ੍ਧ ਵਿਰੋਧੁ ਲੰਘਿ ਲੋਭੁ ਮੋਹੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਵਿਹਾਣਾ ॥ ਸਤਿ ਸੰਤੋਖ ਦਇਆ ਧਰਮੁ ਅਰਥੁ ਸੁ ਗਰੰਥੁ ਪੰਚ ਪਰਵਾਣਾ ॥

Kaam Krodh Virodh Langh Lobh Moh Ahankar VihaNa, Sat Santokh Daya, Dharam Arath Sangrath Panch ParwaNaa.

Resisting lust and anger one can overcome greed, infatuation and ego. Guru willed espouses the five virtues of Truth, Contentment, Compassion, Righteousness, and Fortitude. -----Bhai Gurdas, Var 7, Pauri, 5-2 & 3

Fortitude is the marshal of thoughts, the armor of the will, and the fort of reason. Affliction is the wholesome soil of virtue, where patience, honor, sweet humility take root and strongly flourish. So does calm fortitude. Strength of a man, in the ranks, rests upon his strength of character.
Reciting the Akal Purkh’s Name gives one the courage to overcome fear. This is part of the ethics of virtue rather than the ethics of principle that has dominated modernity. Courage is of two kinds. Active courage that gets people killed, and Inner courage that keeps people alive. Each has its benefits and drawbacks. One should learn to become more conscious as to what is happening before making a choice.

According to virtue ethics, the cultivation and formation of character through virtues such as temperance and fortitude is the essential aspect of the moral life. According to principle ethics, most important is the knowleSri Dasam Granthe of ethical principles. Principles such as acts from duty will guide individuals and communities. This guidance will not come from acts from the desire to maximize pleasure or minimize pain.

The physical thresholds are in fact low and smooth, but they coincide with moral thresholds that are so high and hard that few of us cross them. Affliction is the wholesome soil of virtue, where patience, honor, sweet humility, and calm fortitude, take root and strongly flourish.

ਸਭ ਦੂਂ ਨੀਵੀ ਧਰਤਿ ਹੈ ਆਪੁ ਗਵਾਇ ਹੋਈ ਓਡੀਣੀ॥ ਧੀਰਜੁ ਧਰਮੁ ਸੰਤੋਖ ਦਿ੍ੜ ਪੈਰਾ ਹੇਠਿ ਰਹੈ ਲਿਵ ਲਿਣੀ ॥

Sabh Doon Nivi Dharat Hai Aap Gava-ay H-oay Odeeni, Dheeraj, Dharm Santokh Dirrh, Paira Hayth Rahai Liv LeeNee.

The earth is most humble. It eschews ego, is firm and steady. Deeply rooted in fortitude, righteousness, contentment, it remains tranquil under feet.
-----Bhai Gurdas, Vaar 4, Pauri 2-1 & 2

Those are the thresholds of unencumbered self-determination -- of seductive promises, of self-indulgence and of lack of accountability. A residual tradition or the needs of a loved one occasionally get us on the other side of comfort, and we feel surprised and grateful. But the blandishments of technology will not disappear. The decision to cross the thresholds must be made daily. Steadiness in crossing them can come only from an arduously acquired and faithfully maintained habit -- a virtue, as Aristotle and Aquinas would call it. Courage is not quite the right name for it, but fortitude is. Fortitude needs to become the defining virtue of the postmodern era.

Working with our afflictive emotions takes enormous courage. When we begin to face unpleasant emotions such as fear, anger and jealousy, it may feel like we will die in the process since the pain that comes from the presence of those emotions may be very intense. Courage does not mean being fear-less. It means staying present with the experience through the fear of losing our sense of self, our sense of security, and our belief in the reality of our mental images and concepts to which we are so attached.

Most of our definitions of a perfect person include being consistent, calm, loving, compassionate, wise and so forth — in other words, to have a perfect mind. However, there is no such thing as a perfect mind in the modern days.

Inherent to creation is the existence of opposites. Everything exists in contrast: there can be no good without evil, no right without wrong, no pleasure without pain, no security without insecurity, no happiness without unhappiness, no teacher without a student, no parent without a child, no enlightenment without delusion, and so forth. Life moves in cycles going from one extreme to the other.

In actuality, we all possess qualities of mind; everyone does. In truth, when we are looking at what we believe to be "our mind," we are looking at the mind of all humanity. It does not mean that we act based upon any of the unskillful qualities we may find. It is just as important to have the courage to acknowleSri Dasam Granthe that they are there.

Ultimate reality, the goal of our spiritual search, is a unity of opposites; in ultimate truth there are no boundaries anywhere. To experience this wholeness, we must reclaim those aspects of our mind that we have denied, pushed away, juSri Dasam Granthed, and kept hidden and suppressed. It just means having the courage to be so open with our mental processes that we can recognize what is truly occurring from moment to moment, thereby noticing its true characteristics.

ਧੀਰਜੁ ਧਰਮੁ ਗੁਰਮਤਿ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਨਿਤ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੈ ਹਰਿ ਸਿਉ ਚਿਤੁ ਲਾਵੈ ॥

Dheeraj Dharam Gurmat Har Paaee-aa Nit Har Namai Har Seo Chit Lavai.

Through the Guru's Teachings, I have obtained courage, faith on the Akal Purkh, which keeps my mind focused continually on It, and Its Name.-----Guru Ramdas, Raag Gujri, AGGS, Page, 494-9

Some Sabds of Guru Arjan on fortitude:

ਜਾ ਕਉ ਮੁਸਕਲੁ ਅਤਿ ਬਣੈ ਢੋਈ ਕੋਇ ਨ ਦੇਇ ॥ਲਾਗੂ ਹੋਏ ਦੁਸਮਨਾ ਸਾਕ ਭਿ ਭਜਿ ਖਲੇ ॥ਸਭੋ ਭਜੈ ਆਸਰਾ ਚੁਕੈ ਸਭੁ ਅਸਰਾਉ ॥ਚਿਤਿ ਆਵੈ ਓਸੁ ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮੁ ਲਗੈ ਨ ਤਤੀ ਵਾਉ ॥

jaa ka-o muskal at banai dho-ee ko-ay na day-ay. laagoo ho-ay dusmanaa saak bhe bhaj khalay. sabho bhajai aasraa chukai sabh asraa-o. chit aavai os paarbarahm lagai na tatee vaa-o.

When you are confronted with terrible hardships, and no one offers you any support, when your friends turn into enemies, and even your relatives have deserted you, and when all support has given way, and all hope has been lost if you then come to remember the Supreme God, even the hot wind shall not touch you.

ਸਾਹਿਬੁ ਨਿਤਾਣਿਆ ਕਾ ਤਾਣੁ ॥ਆਇ ਨ ਜਾਈ ਥਿਰੁ ਸਦਾ ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦੀ ਸਚੁ ਜਾਣੁ ॥ ਜੇ ਕੋ ਹੋਵੈ ਦੁਬਲਾ ਨੰਗ ਭੁਖ ਕੀ ਪੀਰ ॥ ਦਮੜਾ ਪਲੈ ਨਾ ਪਵੈ ਨਾ ਕੋ ਦੇਵੈ ਧੀਰ ॥ਸੁਆਰਥੁ ਸੁਆਉ ਨ ਕੋ ਕਰੇ ਨਾ ਕਿਛੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਕਾਜੁ ॥ਚਿਤਿ ਆਵੈ ਓਸੁ ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮੁ ਤਾ ਨਿਹਚਲੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਰਾਜੁ ॥

saahib nitaani-aa kaa taan. aa-ay na jaa-ee thir sadaa gur sabdee sach jaan. jay ko hovai dublaa nang bhukh kee peer. damrhaa palai naa pavai naa ko dayvai Dheer. su-aarath su-aa-o na ko karay naa kichh hovai kaaj. chit aavai os paarbarahm taa nihchal hovai raaj.

Our Akal Purkh is the Power of the powerless, and does not come or go is Eternal and Permanent. Through the Word of the Guru's Sabd, It is known as True. If you are weakened by the pains of hunger and poverty, with no money in your pockets, and no one will give you any comfort, and no one will satisfy your hopes and desires, and none of your works is accomplished-- if you then come to remember the Supreme God, you shall obtain the eternal kingdom.

ਜਾ ਕਉ ਚਿੰਤਾ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਦੇਹੀ ਵਿਆਪੈ ਰੋਗੁ ॥ਗ੍ਰਿਸਤਿ ਕੁਟੰਬਿ ਪਲੇਟਿਆ ਕਦੇ ਹਰਖੁ ਕਦੇ ਸੋਗੁ ॥ਗਉਣੁ ਕਰੇ ਚਹੁ ਕੁੰਟ ਕਾ ਘੜੀ ਨ ਬੈਸਣੁ ਸੋਇ ॥ਚਿਤਿ ਆਵੈ ਓਸੁ ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮੁ ਤਨੁ ਮਨੁ ਸੀਤਲੁ ਹੋਇ ॥

jaa ka-o chintaa bahut bahut dayhee vi-aapai rog. garisat kutamb palayti-aa kaday harakh kaday sog. ga-on karay chahu kunt kaa gharhee na baisan so-ay. chit aavai os paarbarahm tan man seetal ho-ay.

When you are plagued by great and excessive anxiety, and diseases of the body; when you are wrapped up in the attachments of household and family, sometimes feeling joy, and then other times sorrow; when you are wandering around in all four directions, and you cannot sit or sleep even for a moment -- if you come to remember the Supreme God, then your body and mind shall be cooled and soothed.-----Guru Arjan, Sri Raag, AGGS, Page, 70-71

ਅਉਖੀ ਘੜੀ ਨ ਦੇਖਣ ਦੇਈ ਅਪਨਾ ਬਿਰਦੁ ਸਮਾਲੇ ॥ਹਾਥ ਦੇਇ ਰਾਖੈ ਅਪਨੇ ਕਉ ਸਾਸਿ ਸਾਸਿ ਪ੍ਰਤਿਪਾਲੇ ॥ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਸਿਉ ਲਾਗਿ ਰਹਿਓ ਮੇਰਾ ਚੀਤੁ ॥ਆਦਿ ਅੰਤਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਸਦਾ ਸਹਾਈ ਧੰਨੁ ਹਮਾਰਾ ਮੀਤੁ ॥ਮਨਿ ਬਿਲਾਸ ਭਏ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਕੇ ਅਚਰਜ ਦੇਖਿ ਬਡਾਈ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਆਨਦ ਕਰਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਪ੍ਰਭਿ ਪੂਰਨ ਪੈਜ ਰਖਾਈ ॥

A¬ukẖī gẖaṛī na ḏėkẖaṇ ḏė¬ī apnā biraḏ samālė. Hāth ḏė¬ė rākẖai apnė ka¬o sās sās parṯipālė. Parabẖ si¬o lāg rahi¬o mėrā cẖīṯ. Āḏ anṯ parabẖ saḏā sahā¬ī ḏẖan hamārā mīṯ. Man bilās bẖa¬ė sāhib kė acẖraj ḏėkẖ badā¬ī. Har simar simar ānaḏ kar Nānak parabẖ pūran paij rakẖā¬ī.

Akal Purkh does not let Its devotees face hardships. This is Its innate nature. Giving Its hand, Akal Purkh protects Its devotees; with each and every breath, and cherishes them. Their consciousness remains attached to God. In the beginning, and in the end, God is always my helper and companion -- blessed is my friend. My mind is delighted, gazing upon the marvelous, glorious greatness of the Master. Remembering, remembering It in meditation, Nanak is in ecstasy; God, in Its perfection, has protected and preserved his honor. -----Guru Arjan, Raag Dhanasari, AGGS, Page, 682

ਤਾਤੀ ਵਾਉ ਨ ਲਗਈ ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਸਰਣਾਈ ॥ਚਉਗਿਰਦ ਹਮਾਰੈ ਰਾਮ ਕਾਰ ਦੁਖੁ ਲਗੈ ਨ ਭਾਈ ॥ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰਾ ਭੇਟਿਆ ਜਿਨਿ ਬਣਤ ਬਣਾਈ ॥ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਅਉਖਧੁ ਦੀਆ ਏਕਾ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਈ ॥ਰਾਖਿ ਲੀਏ ਤਿਨਿ ਰਖਨਹਾਰਿ ਸਭ ਬਿਆਧਿ ਮਿਟਾਈ ॥ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਭਈ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਭਏ ਸਹਾਈ ॥

Ŧāṯī vā¬o na lag¬ī pārbarahm sarṇā¬ī. Cẖa¬ugiraḏ hamārai rām kār ḏukẖ lagai na bẖā¬ī. Saṯgur pūrā bẖėti¬ā jin baṇaṯ baṇā¬ī. Rām nām a¬ukẖaḏẖ ḏī¬ā ėkā liv lā¬ī. Rākẖ lī¬ė ṯin rakẖaṇhār sabẖ bi¬āḏẖ mitā¬ī. Kaho Nānak kirpā bẖa¬ī parabẖ bẖa¬ė sahā¬ī.

The hot wind does not even touch one who is under the protection of the Supreme Akal Purkh. On all four sides I am surrounded by the Its Circle of Protection; pain does not afflict me, O Siblings of Destiny. I have met the Perfect True Guru, who has done this deed. Akal Purkh has given me the medicine of the Its Name, and I enshrine love for the It. Savior Akal Purkh has saved me, and eradicated all my sickness. Says Nanak, God has showered me with Its Mercy; and has become my help and support. -----Guru Arjan, Raag Bilawal, AGGS, Page, 819

Conclusion:

Development of fortitude helps one develop the mettle of one’s character. It does so through the development of other virtues. Then under the directions incorporated in AGGS a good moral character can be molded and evolved. Courage is required to follow the teachings of the Gurus. Being steadfast in this effort, one can grow in spirituality. Fortitude is the marshal of thoughts, the armor of the will, and the fort of reason.

Cordially,

Virinder
virindergrewal@cablespeed.com

 

[spnadmin]

Ranjeet ji

If only there were words to answer your questions, cure the ills of mind that cause these things, and mend up your heart. I cannot think what that is now. And it might be that you are beginning the path of self-healing, and bringing some light to the darkness, by writing your story for others to know.

 

[Tejwant Singh]

Ranjeet Singh ji,

Guru Fateh.

Just to say that I feel your pain would be an insult. But your heart wrenching experience shows that it is no good to know Gurbani by heart if we are not able to live it.

I hope you find someone else one day, not out of revenge to those who did not understand your Irish lass but the one who can heal the wounds created by this event.

Never give up from any aspects. Gurmat demands that from us.


Tejwant Singh

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

All this boils down to What you are...no one can take the Punjbiat out of a Punjabi..just as one cannot take out the Irishness out of the Irish.
What can be done and has been done is similar to what the Western Sikhs have done..they dont carry most of the Punjabi baggage..simply because they are NOT Punjabis...they are Irish, Jewish, Polish, Canadian. Germans..Mexicans, Argentinians, Peruvians...etc
BUT a GERMAN SIKH will still have his "germanish" in him....and he/she wont gell so well say..with a JEWISH SIKH. I have Chinese Sikh friends...when they go back to their family they celebrate Chinese New Year fire crackers, and all, have chinese tea ceremony and all...a typical Punjabi Sikh family would have NONE of that ???..and they LOOK CHINESE !! No one cna take that from them as well...Chinese DNA..not much of a beard..no muchhan..chinese eyes...but they are Staunch SIKHS..and Full banna Rehit and do good kirtan as well...
I have my former students who have married out of Punjabi race....one has an Irish Gaal, another maried a Sri lankan Tamil..their families accepted..so its OK...yours DIDNT...the Irisg Gaal is the best..she makes the best makee dee roti/saag..and makes the joorras of her sons, tied their dumallas, speaks excellent Punjabi..can read Gurmukhi..can do mehndi, bhangra, geet and dancing..GOREE PUNJABANN !! who gets along well with their typical Majha Jatt Punjabi Sikh inlaws...in fact many are so jealous of her good looks and how ell she gets alsong with her sass...while their punjabi daughter in law moved out after a month...fight with sass..!!!
SO Jios..its FIVE FINGERS..and all are different...dont blame the THUMB..if your INDEX finger hurts !!. No offesne meant or taken..had to set the record straight..SIKHI/GURMATT is UNIVERSAL....punjabiat is NOT..its Parochial.

 

[rasingh1]

Sat Sri Akal,

I would like to thank you all for your informative, supportive and kind comments.

I am using my work, and paath, as a way to heal. Maybe some day I will get past what happened, and lose the deep sense of shame and loss that I live with on a daily basis.

Gyani Jarnail Singh Ji - as your anecdote of that fortunate Irish girl shows, it is possible to be parochial, culturally insular (though not desirable) etc. without being an out and out racist. If my family had insisted that she had to acquire a native Punjabi accent, or to memorize the entire SGGS, to get their blessings, it would have been one thing. But they insulted her as a human being, and questioned her honor. That is racism, pure and simple. If a white family had done that to a potential African-American daughter in law, I do not think you would have any issues calling it that. So, why the reticence in calling out these filthy rednecks among us ? They are racists, and they shame us, the Gurus, everything that we hold dear.

We have a growing, and I am sorry to say, persistent, reputation for racism. Just do a survey among other communities about how they think of Indians, and Punjabis in particular. How can we talk about our universalism on Sunday, and act like KKK style rednecks on Monday ? That smacks of empty ritual, and a split personality.

As human beings, we are defined by our moral values. Sure, we are born into a culture, but there is no law that says you cannot move from one culture to another, while keeping true to your faith or your moral values. Culture is man made - a part of maya, and hence completely disposable. Sikhi, moral values/sanskar, character, etc. are divine and are granted with Waheguru's grace. They are a part of the essential part of us - our soul.

Maybe we will disagree on this. This is just my opinion. It is not likely to change.

Getting to your analogy of the hand. If the palm of the hand is Sikhi, and Punjabi culture is a finger, then I will humbly submit that this finger is rotting. A physician might even suggest excising a gangrenous finger to save the rest of the hand. Our Gurus never accepted manmukhs into the faith just to make the faith look bigger than it is.

I have read that nearly 60-70% of all Sikhs in Punjab drink alcohol, something that is morally, rationally and medically wrong. Then there is the genocide of our sisters going on in Punjab, which has the lowest gender ratio of any place in the world. There are hardcoded, specific sanctions against these modes of behavior in the Rehat and in bani. It is contrary to our faith in its most basic way. I am not even talking about those that cut their kesh, or look at caste when marrying off their kids.

If Kaljug has brought things to such a pass that we have these many manmukhs, and the actual number of Sikhs in the world is only 10 million, and not this inflated figure of 30 million, then we should bite the bullet and accept that fact.

Maybe in 50 years, after another generation is born and raised, and empty ritual, racism and hypocrisy that so increasingly defines Punjabi Sikhism today will lead to large scale conversions out of the faith, and these white Sikhs, and Chinese Sikhs you speak of will be the only sapling left of the paneeri that our Gurus bequeathed to us.

If I am still alive then, I will only have this to say. "Good riddance".

I apologize if I have given any offense.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa,
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

Ranjeet

 

[spnadmin]

rasingh1 ji

Any time you need to feel that there is a sangat that will hear and heed you, we are here. Sat Nam ji -

 

[KulwantK]

Ji, there is no need for you to feel shame. You did not do anything to feel ashamed for. Your hurt is most understandable! Please rest assured we are here for you.

Racism and what I call "culturalism" are, sad to say, all over the world. (Culturalism may be defined as the attitude that those who are living in one culture are somehow inherently better than anyone who is not living in that culture.)

What you went through and are going through now is harsh, yes. However, remember, with God and Guru you can prevail through any difficulty and live a happy life.

 

[Randip Singh]

Classic case of Indo-Aryanism.

Hitler got it wrong when it came to the so called pure race. Punjabi people are probably the most inbred people in the world.

They would (do), murder and kill rather than have thier bloodline "polluted" by "Ferengees" and "Non-Indo-Aryans".

Let us also not forget the racism amongst Indo-Aryan tribes themselves, so called Jatt, Tarkhan, Khatri, Kamboj, Lubana etc.

 

[rasingh1]

KulwantK Ji,

When fellow Sikhs, in this case my family, act in such a manner, shame is natural. It is this way :

When a Sikh interacts with non-Sikhs, he / she is an ambassador of the faith. Especially, since there are so few of us. If any Sikh prominent figure came to the west, and let us say, got drunk, and assaulted someone, would we all not feel a sense of shame ?

Whether I did or did not do anything, is immaterial.

With Waheguru's grace, all will be well one day.

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

KulwantK Ji,

When fellow Sikhs, in this case my family, act in such a manner, shame is natural. It is this way :

When a Sikh interacts with non-Sikhs, he / she is an ambassador of the faith. Especially, since there are so few of us. If any Sikh prominent figure came to the west, and let us say, got drunk, and assaulted someone, would we all not feel a sense of shame ?

Whether I did or did not do anything, is immaterial.

With Waheguru's grace, all will be well one day.

YES it will...HIS GRACE is all thats needed. You are on the Correct Path. Remain STEADFAST.

 

[vsgrewal48895]

Dear All,

The way we live is the way of freeing ourselves from Punjabi and here are my two cents;

THE WAY WE LIVE​

ABSTRACT​

The way we live in a ritualistic society with wordy advice is neither the way to spiritual progress nor following the teachings of Sabd Guru. The correct way is to look inside oneself for wisdom and not be drawn into the world for advice. In this way, one does not preach to the others, nor does one indulge in Narcissism.

ਉਪਦੇਸੁ ਕਰੇ ਕਰਿ ਲੋਕ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਵੈ ॥ ਅਪਨਾ ਕਹਿਆ ਆਪਿ ਨ ਕਮਾਵੈ ॥

Upḏės karė kar lok ḏariṛ¬āvai, Apnā kahi¬ā āp na kamāvai.

You preach to others to have faith, but you do not practice what you preach.-----Guru Arjan, Raag Ramkali, AGGS, Page, 887-18

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One needs to create firm personal boundaries so one has the opportunity to know his own mind, beliefs and values. If one ignores the various fundamentalist attitudes about the spiritual life, such as attachment to rituals, religious symbols, literal interpretations of the hymns of AGGS, and becomes a member of a community in which individual thinking is not prized, then many different ways of being spiritual open up. Sikh faith stresses replacing the individual ego (ਹਉਮੈ) with humility as the former is for who is right but the later values what is right. Absence of humility is the cause of most the daily arguments.

Leading a humble, honest, truthful life of pious deeds and remembrance of Naam is the pious rosary and the only beneficial thing in this life and here after says Guru Ramdas in Raag Bhairo;

ਸੁਕ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਕਰਣੀ ਸਾਰੁ ਜਪਮਾਲੀ ॥ਹਿਰਦੈ ਫੇਰਿ ਚਲੈ ਤੁਧੁ ਨਾਲੀ ॥

Sukariṯ karṇī sār japmālī, Hirḏai fėr cẖalai ṯuḏẖ nālī.

The doing of the pious deeds is the sublime rosary. Chant on the beads within your heart, and it shall go along with you. -----Guru Ramdas, Raag Bhario, AGGS, Page, 1134-9

Sikhism is about Truth and Sikhism is Truth. That is how Guru Nanak defined God. It was Truth before time came into being, true now and will be true forever.

Truth is a comprehensive term that in all of its nuances implies accuracy and honesty. It is considered to be the supreme reality that has ultimate meaning and value in existence. The study of Truth is part of philosophy, particularly epistemology. Everyone talks about the truth routinely, but to live in truth is a Herculean task. A few months ago, this author suggested to his wife that they both live a truthful life. Fifteen minutes later the telephone rang. The caller ID appeared on the phone. The author being busy, without much thought blurted out to his wife, “Please tell him I am not home.” A determination to live truthfully ended in about fifteen minutes. We practice truth only till the telephone rings—and then we tell our members of family to say that we are not at home. The first step toward finding God, Who is Truth, is to discover the truth about myself: and if I have been in error, this first step to truth is the discovery of my error.

Sikhi has to be grounded in rigorous honesty. This ingredient of life is missing generally in the present times. This means that we lie, cheat, or may purposely provide only partial information, and play other mind games with ourselves. It means our wishful faith remains one purely of promise and not of proof and performance. It may remain biased and selfish because we fear that truth is bitter and may produce unwanted consequences. Truthful living is lived only with the Grace of the Akal Purkh.

ਸਾਚੇ ਲਾਏ ਤਉ ਸਚ ਲਾਗੇ ਸਾਚੇ ਕੇ ਬਿਉਹਾਰੀ ॥ ਸਾਚੀ ਬਸਤੁ ਕੇ ਭਾਰ ਚਲਾਏ ਪਹੁਚੇ ਜਾਇ ਭੰਡਾਰੀ ॥

Sācẖė lā¬ė ṯa¬o sacẖ lāgė sācẖė kė bi¬uhārī., Sācẖī basaṯ kė bẖār cẖalā¬ė pahucẖė jā¬ė bẖandārī.

When the True Master attaches one to the Truth then only one becomes the true trader of the Truth. I have loaded the commodity of Truth; and it has reached the Treasurer God. -----Kabir, Raag Kedara, AGGS, Page, 1123-9

Many wish to become devout but few wish to be humble and truthful. It is easy to make statements but hard to live by them. Truth and rigorous honesty are the only tonics to invigorate the mind towards right thought. Truth is discovered, recognized and then lived and realized by the mind. Truth is the only source of all Cosmic as well as mundane riches. Truth is its own reward. It builds him, who builds on it. Hence, every individual needs a well-educated mind, trained in Truth, focused on truthful living and self-realization.

For the truly faithful, no miracle is necessary, but for those who doubt, no miracle is sufficient. It seems expedient to skip work and then make up a story as an excuse. It seems more convenient to extend our deductions for the tax purposes in April. We do all this knowing full well that lying or not giving the whole or truthful information is wrong. We are aware that a universal moral code has condemned such conduct all through the ages.

ਕਬੀਰ ਮਨੁ ਜਾਨੈ ਸਭ ਬਾਤ ਜਾਨਤ ਹੀ ਅਉਗਨੁ ਕਰੈ ॥ਕਾਹੇ ਕੀ ਕੁਸਲਾਤ ਹਾਥਿ ਦੀਪੁ ਕੂਏ ਪਰੈ ॥

Kabīr man jānai sabẖ bāṯ jānaṯ hī a¬ugan karai, Kāhė kī kuslāṯ hāth ḏīp kū¬ė parai.

Kabir, the mortal knows every thing, and knowing, he still makes mistakes. What good is a lamp in one’s hand, if he falls in to well? -----Kabir Sloke, 216, AGGS, Page, 1376-4

Torah declares, “Thou shall not bear false witness.” ----Exodus 20:16

However some rabbinic commentaries permit a lie to promote peace or to prevent harm in cases where honesty might result in harm to the innocent as per Talmud.

Bible admonishes, “Rid yourself of all malice and deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind” ----1 Peter 2:1

However some early church leaders argued that lying is permissible in extreme circumstances to protect the life of the innocent.
Islam asserts in Qur’an, “Truly Allah guides not the one who transgresses and lies” ----Qur’an, Surah 40:28

However some lying is permissible when a person is faced with two evils and must choose one.

Sikhism declares that every one is equal and there are no exceptions about truth say Guru Nanak in Sri Raag;

ਕੇਤੇ ਬੰਧਨ ਜੀਅ ਕੇ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮੋਖ ਦੁਆਰ ॥ ਸਚਹੁ ਓਰੈ ਸਭੁ ਕੋ ਉਪਰਿ ਸਚੁ ਆਚਾਰੁ ॥ ਸਭੁ ਕੋ ਊਚਾ ਆਖੀਐ ਨੀਚੁ ਨ ਦੀਸੈ ਕੋਇ ॥

Kėṯė banḏẖan jī¬a kė gurmukẖ mokẖ ḏu¬ār, Sacẖahu orai sabẖ ko upar sacẖ ācẖār, Sabẖ ko ūcẖā ākẖī¬ai nīcẖ na ḏīsai ko¬ė.

There are so many entanglements for the Conscience. Only as Guru willed do we find the Gate of Liberation. Truth is above all and above Truth is Truthful conduct. Call everyone exalted; no one seems lowly. -----Guru Nanak, Siri Raag, AGGS, Page, 62-11

Bhai Gurdas writes that when Guru Nanak was asked which religion is better? He responded that morality was of utmost importance. Modern day Sikhs seem to have placed morality on the back burner.

ਪੁਛਨਿ ਫੋਲ ਕਤਾਬ ਨੂੰ ਹਿੰਦੂ ਵਡਾ ਕਿ ਮੁਸਲਮਾਨੋਈ ? ਬਾਬਾ ਆਖੇ ਹਾਜੀਆ ਸੁਭ ਅਮਲਾ ਬਾਝਹੁ ਦੋਨੋ ਰੋਈ ॥

Puchan Foal Ktaab Noon Hindu Vaddaa Kay Musalmano-ee, Baba Akhay Haajee-aa Subh Amlaa Baajhoh Dono Ro-ee.

They asked Baba Nanak whether in his book a Hindu or a Muslim is purer. Baba replied to the pilgrim Hajis that without good moral deeds both will have to weep and wail. -----Bhai Gurdas, Vaar 1, Pauri, 33

You never find yourself until you face the truth. When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. Any faith which lies or distorts the Truth, in any way, diminishes the trust of all. Lack of truth is a defect in character, and can eventually lead to the collapse of a faith or society. The danger to the Sikh faith and philosophy lies in the degeneration of morals. They becloud human mental horizons and cause human moral and spiritual nature to atrophy. Individuals put their vested interest first, and the truths and their ideals go begging. Moral life cannot be lived in isolation. Morality is the nurse of spirituality. All the present problems are self-inflicted in ignorance. Ignorance of reality is no excuse. The only cure is self-knowledge. An individual needs to become conscious of his infinite worth and fulfill his potential through spirituality growth towards God.

The second character defect we face in our daily life is arrogance. This may show in our rudeness to the others. It may express verbally or in writing. In the former the tongue can be the worst weapon. Both types hurt the feelings of the others. Result is an unresolved grief. If one finds it difficult to accept, he can become heartbroken. Farid describes it in his Slokes, in the following terms:

ਫਰੀਦਾ ਜੇ ਤੂ ਅਕਲਿ ਲਤੀਫੁ ਕਾਲੇ ਲਿਖੁ ਨ ਲੇਖ ॥ ਆਪਨੜੇ ਗਿਰੀਵਾਨ ਮਹਿ ਸਿਰੁ ਨਂ*ੀਵਾਂ ਕਰਿ ਦੇਖੁ ॥

Farīḏā jė ṯū akal laṯīf kālė likẖ na lėkẖ, Āpnaṛė girīvān meh sir nīʼnvāʼn kar ḏėkẖ.

Farid, if you have a keen understanding, then do not write black marks against anyone else. Look underneath your own collar instead. -----Farid Sloke # 6, AGGS, Page, 1378

ਸਭਨਾ ਮਨ ਮਾਣਿਕ ਠਾਹਣੁ ਮੂਲਿ ਮਚਾਂਗਵਾ ॥ਜੇ ਤਉ ਪਿਰੀਆ ਦੀ ਸਿਕ ਹਿਆਉ ਨ ਠਾਹੇ ਕਹੀ ਦਾ ॥

Sabẖnā man māṇik ṯẖāhaṇ mūl macẖāʼngvā, Jė ṯa¬o pirī¬ā ḏī sik hi¬ā¬o na ṯẖāhė kahī ḏā.

It is not good and advisable to injure the feelings of the others, as their minds are as precious as emeralds and rubies. Moreover if you desire the Beloved, distress no one’s heart. -----Farid Sloke # 130, AGGS, Page, 1384

There is a Persian expression attributed to God by Muslims:-

I can allow you to destroy a temple or a mosque, but to break another’s heart is an act that cannot be sanctioned. The temple and the mosque may be repaired or renewed, but not the broken heart.

ਇਕੁ ਫਿਕਾ ਨ ਗਾਲਾਇ ਸਭਨਾ ਮੈ ਸਚਾ ਧਣੀ ॥ ਹਿਆਉ ਨ ਕੈਹੀ ਠਾਹਿ ਮਾਣਕ ਸਭ ਅਮੋਲਵੇ ॥

Ik fikā na gālā¬ė sabẖnā mai sacẖā ḏẖaṇī, Hi¬ā¬o na kaihī ṯẖāhi māṇak sabẖ amolvė.

Do not utter even a single harsh word. The True Akal Purkh abides in all. Do not break anyone's heart; these are all priceless jewels. -----Sheikh Farid Sloke #129, AGGS, Page, 1384-17

We are so incredibly well trained to notice what is wrong in any given debates, discussions, work situations or a business experience that it is very easy to overlook what is right. Our entire education system seems geared to training us to notice flaws and mistakes of the others rather of self. Perhaps we should spend similar amount of time and energy in noticing and appreciating the other persons’ gifts, talents, beauty and strengths as we do in exposing their weaknesses and flaws. Each of us is under three circles of influence –ourselves, the others and the reality. As explained by Parmanand, in Raag Sarang, it may be more fruitful for us to carefully consider, understand and appreciate the points of view of the others rather than forcing our own egotistical personal opinion:

ਕਾਮੁ ਨ ਬਿਸਰਿਓ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਨ ਬਿਸਰਿਓ ਲੋਭੁ ਨ ਛੂਟਿਓ ਦੇਵਾ ॥ਪਰ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਮੁਖ ਤੇ ਨਹੀ ਛੂਟੀ ਨਿਫਲ ਭਈ ਸਭ ਸੇਵਾ ॥

Kām na bisri¬o kroḏẖ na bisri¬o lobẖ na cẖẖūti¬o ḏėvā,Par ninḏā mukẖ ṯė nahī cẖẖūtī nifal bẖa¬ī sabẖ sėvā.

You have not forgotten sexual desire, and you have not forgotten anger; greed has not left you either. Slander of the others has not left thy lips making all the service fruitless.-----Parmanand, Raag Sarang, AGGS, Page, 1253-6

Differences in opinion or other conflicts may be resolved by allowing and respecting each one’s own understanding of his Higher Power, Spirituality or God. Again this does not imply that all believe in the same Higher Power or that they should. Believe as you wish to believe. We can always agree to disagree civilly.

Spiritual awakening comes to one, who sacrifices his personal life to the great cause of compassion, and who purifies his heart from all the dross of passions. He should free his mind from all delusions of vanity and prejudice. Such awakening enables one to discern the right path in life, and to distinguish the true from the false.

Hatred is not destroyed by hatred any time soon. Love may extinguish it better. This is an Eternal Law. The descent of the spirit into the matter led to the fall of man. Through the sacrifice of one’s the lower self, one dies to his desires and passions, and rises to the higher life of the spirit. The object of all this is to restore the human Spirit by merging it with the Immortal Divine Spirit. This way of raising the lower nature to a higher virtuous plane is through humility, says Guru Nanak in Raag Asa, Guru Tegh Bahadur in Raag Gauri, and Kabir in Raag Kidara:

ਮਿਠਤੁ ਨੀਵੀ ਨਾਨਕਾ ਗੁਣ ਚੰਗਿਆਈਆ ਤਤੁ ॥

Miṯẖaṯ nīvī nānkā guṇ cẖang¬ā¬ī¬ā ṯaṯ.

Sweetness and humility, O, Nanak is the essence of merits and virtues.----Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 470

ਉਸਤਤਿ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਦੋਊ ਤਿਆਗੈ ਖੋਜੈ ਪਦੁ ਨਿਰਬਾਨਾ ॥ਜਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਇਹੁ ਖੇਲੁ ਕਠਨੁ ਹੈ ਕਿਨਹੂੰ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਜਾਨਾ ॥

Usṯaṯ ninḏā ḏo¬ū ṯi¬āgai kẖojai paḏ nirbānā, Jan Nānak ih kẖėl kaṯẖan hai kinhūʼn gurmukẖ jānā.

Renounce both praise and blame; seek instead the state of Nirvana. O servant Nanak, this is such a difficult game; only a few Guru willed understand it! -----Guru Tegh Bahadur, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 219

ਉਸਤਤਿ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਦੋਊ ਬਿਬਰਜਿਤ ਤਜਹੁ ਮਾਨੁ ਅਭਿਮਾਨਾ ॥ ਲੋਹਾ ਕੰਚਨੁ ਸਮ ਕਰਿ ਜਾਨਹਿ ਤੇ ਮੂਰਤਿ ਭਗਵਾਨਾ ॥

Usṯaṯ ninḏā ḏo¬ū bibarjiṯ ṯajahu mān abẖimānā, Lohā kancẖan sam kar jāneh ṯė mūraṯ bẖagvānā.

They who abandon both praise and slander, who reject self worship, self conceit, and who deem iron and gold alike are the image of God.-----Kabir, Raag Kidara, AGGS, Page, 1123-2

Conclusion:

Majority of the world's woes come from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves. To grow spiritually is to transcend in the flame of true love to God. Divine Wisdom lies in dying daily, while alive (ਜੀਵਨ ਮੁਕਤ). One should die to sin but remain alive to righteousness.

Higher Power is the voice of Divine in man. It is also reflected in the teachings of men who have progressed spiritually to the point that their minds has become one with the higher consciousness of the God within. Man is a temple of God. All religions in varying degrees minister to the moral and spiritual progress of mankind. Unfortunately they have become institutionalized to control their followers. Guru Nanak indicates in Raag Suhi and Kabir in Raag Gauri, that to progress in spirituality means being free from impurities, while living amongst them;

ਅੰਜਨ ਮਾਹਿ ਨਿਰੰਜਨਿ ਰਹੀਐ ਜੋਗ ਜੁਗਤਿ ਇਵ ਪਾਈਐ ॥

Anjan māhi niranjan rahī¬ai jog jugaṯ iv pā¬ī¬ai.

To live undefiled among material defilement is the true way to live in Yogic-praxis.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Suhi, AGGS, Page, 730-12

ਅੰਜਨ ਮਾਹਿ ਨਿਰੰਜਨਿ ਰਹੀਐ ਬਹੁੜਿ ਨ ਭਵਜਲਿ ਪਾਇਆ ॥

Anjan māhi niranjan rahī¬ai bahuṛ na bẖavjal pā¬i¬ā.

By living immaculate amidst impurity, one enters not again the ocean of existence. -----Kabir, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 332-16

Virinder S. Grewal

 

[AusDesi]

Mate, words can't describe how sad I am hearing your story. I hope you get better. I personally don't know what I would do in that situation.

 

[harbansj24]

rasingh1 ji,

In different threads, it is being repeatedly brought out, that contrary to our Gurus unambiguous teachings Sikhs;

• Practice castecism and racism
• Consume intoxicants (Punjab is way ahead of other states!)
• female infanticide is common (Female to Male ratio is lowest in the country)

Then we blame everyone else for our misfortune.

Guru Gobind Singh jis warning bears repetition;

Jab Lag Khalsa Rahe Niara, Tab Lag Tej Dioon Mein Sara

Jab Eh Gaye Bipran Ki Reet, Mein Na Karoon In Ki Parteet.

I also agree with you that Sikh have to get out of the concept of "Sikhi only through Punjabi" This is not workable for Sikhism to succeed as global religion.

Bhai Vir Singh ji chose to write only in Punjabi because during his time Punjabi language was in serious decline and no writer chose to write in it. He chose it inspite of his being equaly proficient in Braj, Urdu and English. And he succeeded marvelously in uplifting the language. Things have greatly changed from those days.

But lately forums like SPN are doing a excellent job of creating awareness through English.

As far as your painful experience is concerned, I can only request you try and shed your bitterness.

You have yourself have said with Wahegurus grace all will be well one day.

And that is also the experience of countless Gursikhs.