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For me it's ego. I have this great big out-of-control ego that I dare not let up on for even a second. By that I mean I must leave it in Guru ji's hands because I can't handle it myself. And I am so proud that I can admit that. *giggles* A big part of it is not to take myself too seriously. I am, after all, a rather ridiculous little speck on a tiny planet on the outskirts of a ho-hum galaxyandam important mostly to myself.