sukritkaur bhain sorry to hear your experiences. Don't feel alone.
The general issue is that first generation immigrants are a very transitional entities. Their abilities to do or achieve most often run into issues of survival, doing better for self versus others, looking for even small glory, looking for small economic benefits either legal or otherwise. When you put all this into a mixing bowl, what you get is pretty mixed up and you have identified the symptoms of this in your post.
I do not know much about the complex of Sikhs in Kashmir and perhaps if you give some basic facts like the key villages, cities, people in your community that are successful having come out of those places to be here in Canada, etc. It does not need to be super accurate.
One can perhaps then do a prioritization and find ways or look for answers. Unfortunately even high school level students here in Canada I find sometimes to be way smarter than older generation both with or without education. So trying to address through such people at times puts them on a defensive and nothing really positive happens.
There has been some successes in Punjab but some of the people are now into second and third generation from some villages. There are resources to learn from those as I saw some on TV at one time on I believe on "Des Pardes" program that originates from Vancouver. If I find something I will post for you.
Hope it gives ideas. As an approach sometimes it helps if you get people to own ideas even if those are yours. People participate more through ownership. You are a strong "Lioness" and one day you will make self and others proud.
Sat Sri Akal.
