I used to be an agnostic for a long period of time, however, some circumstances changed my beliefs. now, i feel guilty if I listen to modern day music or watch youtube videos or talk about things that have nothing to do with sifat salah of waheguru Ji. However, im 19 and its hard to stay detached when everyone my age and older around me doesnot hold the same feelings. There was a point in time when id started feeling that i was betraying my guru by even having hunger for food, due to which i had started starving myself. Same for other things. Id read in rehatnama that a sikh should eat less and sleep less. In aasa ki vaar, it is said that subjecting oneself to a deprivation of the simple, innocent tastes of life like food is a fool’s behaviour. id read in sggs, however, that tastes of food are useless and one should only have a desire for the taste of waheguru ji s blesse darshan. it is also said that thinking too much, especially being cynical to worldly things is of no use. Am i being cynical? am i betraying My guru by delving in the pleasures of good food, music and clothing? Im not going to college at the moment, so i have a lot of free time. Is reading books that have nothing to do with gurbani bad? bhull chukk muaaf krni, I am nothing but an insipid human
