Remember when........
A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show,
a window was something you hated to clean, and ram was the
cousin of a goat
Meg was the name of my girlfriend and gig was a job for the
nights now they all mean different things and that really mega
bytes
An application was for employment a program was a TV show a
cursor used profanity a keyboard was a piano
Memory was something that you lost with age a CD was a bank
account and if you had a 3 1/2" floppy you hoped nobody found
out
Compress was something you did to the garbage not something you
did to a file and if you unzipped anything in public you'd be in
jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire hard drive was a long trip
on the road a mouse pad was where a mouse lived and a backup
happened to your commode
Cut you did with a pocket knife paste you did with glue a web
was a spider's home and a virus was the flu
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper and the memory in my
head I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash but when
it happens they wish they were dead.
AND...
TO : ALL EMPLOYEES
FR : MANAGEMENT
SUBJECT : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of
quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our
policy to keep all employees well-trained through out program
of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to
give out employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on
the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately
placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and out managers are
especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you
can handle.
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have
to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since
our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they
don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T.
already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
training others. We can add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are
full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can
apply for promotion to the DIRECTOR OF EXTRA EMPLOYEE
PROGRAMMING (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our
HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGHT INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.
S.H.I.T.).
Thank you.
BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show,
a window was something you hated to clean, and ram was the
cousin of a goat
Meg was the name of my girlfriend and gig was a job for the
nights now they all mean different things and that really mega
bytes
An application was for employment a program was a TV show a
cursor used profanity a keyboard was a piano
Memory was something that you lost with age a CD was a bank
account and if you had a 3 1/2" floppy you hoped nobody found
out
Compress was something you did to the garbage not something you
did to a file and if you unzipped anything in public you'd be in
jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire hard drive was a long trip
on the road a mouse pad was where a mouse lived and a backup
happened to your commode
Cut you did with a pocket knife paste you did with glue a web
was a spider's home and a virus was the flu
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper and the memory in my
head I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash but when
it happens they wish they were dead.
AND...
TO : ALL EMPLOYEES
FR : MANAGEMENT
SUBJECT : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of
quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our
policy to keep all employees well-trained through out program
of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to
give out employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on
the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately
placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and out managers are
especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you
can handle.
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have
to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since
our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they
don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T.
already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
training others. We can add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are
full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can
apply for promotion to the DIRECTOR OF EXTRA EMPLOYEE
PROGRAMMING (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our
HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGHT INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.
S.H.I.T.).
Thank you.
BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
