Main article: SGGS on lust To quote Guru Arjan, Nanak V: “O Kam, thou landest people in hell and makest them wander through many births, enticest all minds, swayest all the three worlds and undoest one's meditation, austerities and restraint. The pleasure is ephemeral and thou afflictest high and low alike" (GG, 1358). Guru Tegh Bahadur Nanak IX, says: "In the sinning heart reigns kam and the fickle mind breaks out of control. Kam casts its noose even upon yogis, jangams and sannyasis. Only those imbued with God's Name (fall not a prey to it) and are able to go across the ocean of existence" (GG, 1186). Bhai Gurdas describes an ideal Sikh as one who is loyal to his wife and "regards all other women as mothers, sisters and daughters" (Varan, XXIX. 11). Guru Gobind Singh also said: "Love your own wedded wife ever so more, but do not go to another woman's bed even in a dream."Sikh codes of conduct strictly prohibit extramarital relations. While prescribing self-control and restraint and not total annihilation of kam, the Gurus suggested two ways of channelizing and sublimating it. On the one hand, they pronounced grihastha or married life to be the ideal one, and, on the other laid down love of God and absorption in His Name as the essential principle of spiritual discipline. Says Guru Gobind Singh"Hear ye all, I proclaim here the truth: only they who love God find Him." The image of a devotee most common in Sikh Scripture is one of a wife deeply in love with her "kant" or husband presently separated from him, and waiting, craving, praying for a reunion with him. Such fervent devotion cannot but bridle the wayward passion in man. According to Guru Arjan, a person who has cultivated the love of the Lord’s feet would desire neither kingship, nor worldly power, nor even mukti or liberation (GG 534). In the following Shabad, the Guru explains in very clear terms that lust and wrath will eat away the body away just as borax dissolves and eats away pure gold. So the pure God-given body will be wasted away if one allows the mind to be overcome by rage, anger or lust. One is given a very clear warning to guard oneself from these negative emotions.
KAM (Sanskrit kama) meaning deep desire, uncontrolled longing, concupiscence, sensuality or lasciviousness is counted among the five cardinal sins or sinful propensities. In common usage, the term stands for excessive passion for sexual pleasure and it is in this sense that it is considered an evil in Sikhism. In Brahmanical literature kam is not always disdained. Kam as Kamadeva is a god in the Hindu pantheon comparable to Eros of Greek mythology and Cupid of the Romans, and is as such not contradictory to spiritual life. Kam (gratification of desire) is in Hinduism one of the four objectives (purusarthas) of human life, the other three being artha (acquirement of wealth), dharma (discharge of duty), and moksa (final emancipation). Jainism and Buddhism, which arose as protest movements against Brahmanical ritualism and superstition, however looked upon kam with horror. For munis and sramanas of Jainism and Buddhism and for yogis of the Sankhya school, kam was to be deliberately suppressed to achieve ultimate release. As a result, they preached celibacy and asceticism. The Gurus rejected Brahmanical superstition as well as self-mortifying austerities. Yet they recognized the four purusarthas, referred to in gurbani as char padaraths or the four human pursuits. However, in Sikhism kam is not unrestricted gratification of carnal desires, but an impulse which needs to be kept under check like other impulses and passions. Unrestrained propensity towards kam, especially sexual relationship outside the marital bond, is condemned in the strongest terms in Sikh codes of conduct as well as in the Scripture. It is a destructive evil and a deadly sin.
Lust implies a sexual desire in and of itself. It can be caused by an erotic arousal. It may manifest as a wish, or intense physical or sexual attraction or craving. In this sense, it is considered a vice and is foremost on the list of lower or animal instincts that humans are born with. ਜਿਉ ਤਨੁ ਬਿਧਵਾ ਪਰ ਕਉ ਦੇਈ ॥ ਕਾਮਿ ਦਾਮਿ ਚਿਤੁ ਪਰ ਵਸਿ ਸੇਈ ॥ ਬਿਨੁ ਪਿਰ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤਿ ਨ ਕਬਹੂੰ ਹੋਈ ॥ Ji▫o ṯan biḏẖvā par ka▫o ḏe▫ī. Kaam Daam Chit Par Vas Say-ee.Bin pir ṯaripaṯ na kabahūʼn ho▫ī.
The lonely widow gives her body to a stranger; Mind is controlled by others for lust or money, but without her husband, she is never satisfied. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 226-2 ਹਿਰਦੈ ਕਾਮ ਕਾਮਨੀ ਮਾਗਹਿ ਰਿਧਿ ਮਾਗਹਿ ਹਾਥੁ ਪਸਾਰੇ ॥ Hirḏai kām kāmnī māgėh riḏẖ māgėh hāth pasāre.
With sexual urges in their hearts, they beg for beautiful women; stretching out their hands, they beg for riches. -----Guru Ramdas, Raag Ramkali, AGGS, Page, 882-11
Lust is one’s desire for the gratification of sexual appetite. It can become an obsessive desire. One can become eager, passionate, and even sinful, if the desire becomes particularly inordinate. Some people see lust as the purest form of love. This viewpoint argues that being a pure emotional wish, based upon physical attraction; it frees lust from the constraints of any emotional baggage. One can respect it for what it is, without any negative inner conceptual responses. It is a direct emotional inner instinct and desire of one person, to carnally know and be intimate with another. On the other hand, many people acknowledge that feelings of lust do not always imply feelings of love, and they make a strong distinction between the terms lust and love. Love in its pure form is said to be concerned with the well-being of the other. On the other hand lust is more commonly a product of one’s own libidinal urges rather than a product of a desire for the well-being of the objects of lust. However, the two can certainly co-exist. In Catholicism, lust is subdivided into six categories: fornication, adultery, rape, incest, seduction, and unnatural vice.
Webster’s Dictionary explains that,” Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”. ----- Matt. v. 28.
In Sikhism it is the foremost on the list of five sins: Lust, Anger, Greed, Attachment, and Vanity. It represents the lowest cardinal feelings causing an obstruction in one’s spiritual growth since affects his character. Good moral character is an important ingredient, which cannot be separated from spirituality.
ਮਨ ਕਾ ਸੂਤਕੁ ਲੋਭੁ ਹੈ ਜਿਹਵਾ ਸੂਤਕੁ ਕੂੜੁ ॥ ਅਖੀ ਸੂਤਕੁ ਵੇਖਣਾ ਪਰ ਤ੍ਰਿਅ ਪਰ ਧਨ ਰੂਪੁ ॥ ਕੰਨੀ ਸੂਤਕੁ ਕੰਨਿ ਪੈ ਲਾਇਤਬਾਰੀ ਖਾਹਿ ॥ Man Kaa Sootak Lobh Hai Jihvaa Sootak Koorh, Akhee Sootak Vaykh-Naa Par Tari-a par Dhan Roop, Kannee Sootak Kann Pai Laa-itbaaree Khaahi.
The impurity of the mind is greed, and the impurity of the tongue is falsehood. The impurity of the eyes is to gaze upon the beauty of another man's wife, and his wealth. The impurity of the ears is to listen to the slander of the others. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 472-16
ਰੂਪੀ ਭੁਖ ਨ ਉਤਰੈ ਜਾਂ ਦੇਖਾਂ ਤਾਂ ਭੁਖ ॥ ਜੇਤੇ ਰਸ ਸਰੀਰ ਕੇ ਤੇਤੇ ਲਗਹਿ ਦੁਖ ॥ Roopi Bhukh Na Utrai Jaan Dekhan Tan Bukh, Jetay Rus Sreer Kay Tetay Lageh Dukh.
Beauty does not satisfy hunger; when the man sees beauty, he hungers even more. Pleasures of the body are as numerous as the pains that afflict it. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Malar, AGGS, Page, 1287-14
Beauty and sexual desire are friends much as hunger and tasty food are tied together. Greed is bound up in its search for wealth, and sleep will use even a tiny space as a bed. Anger barks and brings ruin on itself, blindly engaging in useless conflicts. It is good to be silent, O Nanak; without the Name, one's mouth spews forth only filth. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Malar, AGGS, Page, 1288-13
Elephant, deer, fish, moth and black bee have one disease each, namely, attraction for lust, sound, enjoyment, beautiful appearance and fragrance respectively, and they are consumed by them. But the man has all the five ailments and these five always create turbulence in his life. ----- Bhai Gurdas, Var 5, Pauri, 20
The word lust means strong sexual desire but it is also used metaphorically for other forms of desire e.g. power etc. It is considered vice by many religions.
O sexual desire, you lead the mortals to hell; you make them wander in reincarnation through countless species. You cheat the consciousness, and pervade the three worlds. You destroy meditation, penance and virtue. But you give only shallow pleasure, while you make the mortals weak and unsteady; you pervade the high and the low. -----Guru Arjan, Sahs Kriti Slokes, AGGS, Page, 1358-3
Other reasons such as loneliness, wanting attention from the others, seeking affirmation, and desiring companionship can lead to lust. Also in our efforts to avoid boredom, feeling close to someone else and seeking excitement can also lead to lust. It is an inward sin, which leads to the falling away from God. It can dominate consciousness which is the center of all moral forces, impulses and of spiritual activity.
The conscious mind is engrossed in sexual desire, anger and Maya. The conscious mind is awake only to falsehood, corruption and attachment. It gathers in the assets of sin and greed. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 153-3
ਜਿਉ ਕਾਮੀ ਕਾਮਿ ਲੁਭਾਵੈ ॥ਤਿਉ ਹਰਿ ਦਾਸ ਹਰਿ ਜਸੁ ਭਾਵੈ ॥ Jeo Kaamee Kaam Lubhavai, Teo Har Daas Har Jas Bhavai.
Lustful man is enticed by lust in the same way as the Akal Purkh's slave pleased with the It's Praise. -----Guru Arjan, Raag Sorath, AGGS, and Page, 629-5
Some moralists consider lust to be a corruption of temperance, in the sense that when temperance fails, lust is the natural result.
Guru Nanak explains in the mode of Raag Malar, AGGS, and Page 1288 some of these vices. He calls royal power, wealth, beauty, social status and youth the five thieves. These thieves have plundered the world. No one's honor is spared by them. But those who fall at the Guru’s Feet rob these thieves themselves. O Nanak, the multitudes that do not have good karma are plundered.
ਜਗੁ ਤ੍ਰਿਅ ਜਿਤੁ ਕਾਮਣਿ ਹਿਤਕਾਰੀ ॥ ਪੁਤ੍ਰ ਕਲਤ੍ਰ ਲਗਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਵਿਸਾਰੀ ॥ Jug Tria Jit Kaamin Hitkaree, Putar Kaltar Lag Naam Visaaree.
Women conquer the men of the world who love the ladies. Attached to children and wife, they forget the Naam.
Like the mad dog running around in all directions, the greedy person, unaware, consumes everything, edible and non-edible alike. Engrossed in the intoxication of sexual desire and anger, people wander through reincarnation over and over again. -----Guru Arjan Siri Raag, AGGS, Page, 50-7
Love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection, an intense personal attachment for another person. A person in love feels a strong liking or enthusiasm toward the object of his love. Lust on the other hand, is an intense appetite or sexual desire centered on the other person.
Physiology;
The chemical neurotransmitters are released by the brain cells due to the stimulation caused by food, sex, drugs, and social esteem. These are Dopamine and or Endorphins or Opiates, which flood and bathe the neurons of the right ventral segmental area. Prefrontal cortex is involved in the memory and the emotions related to love or lust. It causes pleasurable feelings of joy, while the amygdale, associated with fear, gets temporarily inhibited. Androgens and estrogens also drive the craving for sexual gratification or lust. High dopamine and epinephrine and low serotonin levels drive attraction or passionate love with intense craving. Oxytocin and vasopressin hormones drive attachment.
The lustful, lecherous man desires many women, and never stops peeking in to the homes of the others. Day after day, he commits adultery again and again, and then he regrets his actions. He wastes away in misery and greed. -----Guru Arjan, Raag Dhanasari, AGGS, Page, 672-6
The lustful, the angry, the clever, the deceitful and the lazy waste their lives in slander, and never remember their God in meditation. -----Kabir Raag Maru, AGGS, Page, 1105-18
Control of sexual behavior;
How do men and women control their sexual behavior? Is it really possible to stop impure thoughts? How do we find purity in our sexual desires when we have indulged in relationships for many years?
Sabd Guru refers to examples of lustful behavior by Hindu trinity & deities. Why Krishna seduced Gopi Chandravali, king of gods Indra seduced Ahalya wife of sage Gautma and was punished by developing thousands images of vulva or vagina on his body and Brahma’s fifth head was cut off by Shiva being infatuated by the beauty of his daughter Savitri? Is it OK for the deities to indulge in these indiscretions of character?
In the Jujar Veda, Kahn Krishna of the Yaadva tribe seduced Chandraavali by force. He brought the Elysian Tree for his milk-maid, and reveled in Brindaaban. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 470-6
Ahalyaa was the wife of Gautama the seer. Seeing her, Indra was enticed. When he received a thousand marks of disgrace (female organs), on his body, he was regretful in his mind. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Parbhati Dakhni, AGGS, Page, 1343-1344-1
Branded with a thousand marks of disgrace (female organs) on his body, Indra cried in shame. Paras Ram returned home crying. -----Guru Nanak, Vaar Raag Ramkali, AGGS, Page, 953-18
Gautama’s wife and the god Indra mated. Shiva cut off Brahma's 5th head, being bewitched by the beauty of his own daughter Savitri. Brahma's head got stuck to Shiva's hand. And Indra came to bear the marks of a thousand female organs. -----Ravidas, Raag Jaitsari, AGGS, Page, 710-17
ਅਨਿਕ ਪਾਤਿਕ ਹਰਤਾ ਤ੍ਰਿਭਵਣ ਨਾਥੁ ਰੀ ਤੀਰਥਿ ਤੀਰਥਿ ਭ੍ਰਮਤਾ ਲਹੈ ਨ ਪਾਰੁ ਰੀ ॥ ਕਰਮ ਕਰਿ ਕਪਾਲੁ ਮਫੀਟਸਿ ਰੀ ॥ Anik pāṯik harṯā ṯaribẖavaṇ nāth rī ṯirath ṯirath bẖarmaṯā lahai na pār rī. Karam kar kapāl mafītas rī.
Shiva, the destroyer of countless sins, the Master of the three worlds, wandered from sacred shrine to sacred shrine; he never found an end to them. And yet, he could not erase the karma of cutting off Brahma's head. -----Tirlochan, Raag Dhanasari, AGGS, Page, 695-6
Why doesn’t God just wipe out all our sexual desires, like pulling the plug from a wall socket? Because our sexuality is an integral part of our humanness, meant for future progeny. Our sexual longings have become distorted, but they are nevertheless a marvelous creation and wonderful part of us as human beings.
If good deeds are done in this state of peace, they are approved by the Akal Purkh and Master. O, Nanak, through sexual desire and anger, no one has ever found God; go, and ask any wise man. -----Guru Amardas, Raag Bihagrha, AGGS, Page, 551-19
Maturity comes as we learn to control our sexuality. Just as our body’s muscles are strengthened by exercise, so our spiritual strength is built up by exercising self-control and maturity in our sexual choices.
ਪਰਹਰਿ ਕਾਮ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਝੂਠੁ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਤਜਿ ਮਾਇਆ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਚੁਕਾਵੈ ॥ ਤਜਿ ਕਾਮੁ ਕਾਮਿਨੀ ਮੋਹੁ ਤਜੈ ਤਾ ਅੰਜਨ ਮਾਹਿ ਨਿਰੰਜਨੁ ਪਾਵੈ ॥ ਤਜਿ ਮਾਨੁ ਅਭਿਮਾਨੁ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਸੁਤ ਦਾਰਾ ਤਜਿ ਪਿਆਸ ਆਸ ਰਾਮ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਵੈ ॥ Parhar Kaam KroDh Jhooth Nindaa Taj Maa-i-aa AhaNkaar Chukhaavai, Tuj Kaam Kamini Moh Tajai Ta Anjan Maeh Niranjan Pavai, Taj Maan Abhimaan Pareet Sut Daaraa Taj Pi-aas Aas Raam Liv Laavai.
Renounce sexual desire, anger, falsehood and slander; forsake Maya and eliminate egotistical pride. Renounce sexual desire and promiscuity, and give up emotional attachment. Only then shall you obtain the Immaculate Akal Purkh amidst the darkness of the world. Renounce selfishness, conceit and arrogant pride, and your love for your children and spouse. Abandon your thirsty hopes and desires, and embrace love for the God. -----Guru Ramdas, Raag Majh, AGGSD, Page, 141
Sing the Glorious Praises of the Perfect, Imperishable Akal Purkh, and the poison of sexual desire and anger shall be burnt away. You shall cross over the awesome, arduous ocean of fire, in the Company of the Holy. -----Guru Arjan, Raag Sorath AGGS, Page, 615-6
ਕਾਮ ਕਰੋਧ ਵਿਣਾਸੁ ਸਿਫਤਿ ਸਮੇਉ ਹੈ ॥ ਸਤਿ ਸੰਤੋਖ ਉਲਾਸ ਸਕਤਿ ਨ ਸੇਉ ਹੈ ॥ Kaam Krodh ViNaas Sifit Samaiou Hai, Sat Santokh Olaas Sakat Seo Hai.
Conquering the lust and anger they have absorbed themselves in the praises of God
-----Bhai Gurdas, Var 3, Pauri 2 ਨਾਮ ਸੰਜੋਗੀ ਗੋਇਲਿ ਥਾਟੁ ॥ਕਾਮ ਕ੍ਰੋਧ ਫੂਟੈ ਬਿਖੁ ਮਾਟੁ ॥ Naam Sanjogi Goel Thaat, Kaam Krodh Footay Bikh Maat.
Those who are committed to the Naam, see the world as merely a temporary pasture. Sexual desire and anger are broken, like a jar of poison. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 153-1 Conclusion:
Ultimately, our deepest needs are met through our relationship with God. It has created us that way. No human being can reach deep inside us like Akal Purkh Can, in order to meet our core needs for communion and intimacy with another. We also need people to help us meet other social and emotional needs such as for companionship and friendship. These needs are universal and powerful. They must be met before we will find freedom in our sexuality. Until these emotional needs are satisfied, we will continue to struggle with inappropriate sexual desires.
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