8 YEARS TOGETHER AND PARENTS ARE REJECTING ME WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING MY NAME JUST CAUSE I AINT A JATT AND HAVENT BEEN PICKED BY FATHER - EMOTIONAL BLACK MAIL FROM GIRLFRIENDS FAMILY IS SLOWLY BREAKING HER...
TWO SIKHS IN LOVE BUT CAUGHT IN A RING OF FIRE WHICH SEEMS TO BE GETTING HIGHER...
PLEASE HELP!! - STORY BELOW
Good evening my fellow sikhs. I hope you can shed some light on the painful and depressing situation me and my girlfriend are going through.
ABIT ABOUT US;
Firstly let me introduce myself I'm 25 year old male from the UK working in the teaching and arts profession and my girlfriend is 23 soon to be 24 and is working in the banking and finance profession.
We have known each other since we were 16 and met in college here in LONDON, we have had an overall very good 8 years together, obviously we have had problems along the way but our love and understanding has kept us close and allowed us to build a strong relationship that is still going today.
The last month of our relationship has been HELL, my girlfirends parents don't believe in out of cast marriage and have never allowed such a thing with both her older sister... They call themselves sikhs but yet can't let go off the fact that I am not a Jatt so not acceptable for there daughter.
By the way they don;t know about us and don;t know we have been seeing each other for so long.
My family know about her and totally accept her and are fully willing to let me marry her. By the way her family are very status orientated and very society thinking... Always thinking what will others think of us if we do this... VERY PROUD HIGHY AND MIGHTY PEOPLE.....
Anyway a few weeks ago her father arranged for her to meet a BOY from the same cast whose family he has been introduced too. She went along for the sake of her father and met this guy, after which she came home crying and told me that she didnt want to marry him....I told her to go straight home and confess and tell her mum whats going on and she already has someone she wants to marry (ME)
She went home and broke the news to her mother, her dad is in India at present so no news has been shared with him yet... Her mother totally ruled me out, she had a fit and told her not to see me again and that this wedding will never happen... SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK MY NAME OR WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING... she just saw that I wasnt a jatt and in that case not suitable for her daughter.
Its been three weeks or so since she met this guy and ever since she has been emotionally black mailed by her family, both her mother and sisters have been saying stuff like if you marry him I will die, your dad will die, the usual. bollywood lines families come up with when this happens. They keep saying stuff like you will get over him, well my answer to this is so will they if they let us marry, why spoil your child happiness.
Sikhism says you should marry a fellow sikh and creed, status and cast should not even been taken into consideration, isnt that right??
Both her sisters are so unsupportive they totally sticking to what the mother has to say they are all hoping that this will die down before the dad gets back from India and that she wont even need to tell him. Her sister is so vindictive shes doesnt care about her shes just thinking about herself... If your care about your siblings shouldnt you support them in there decision instead saying things like forget about him, his no good etc etc...
They have also mentally pressured her so much that just to get some peace of mind she has been forced into saying yes to the guy she saw.
As you can imagine this has been hell for us both we love each other so much and its feels right to get married, for the last 2,3 years I have been working extra hard in order to plan out our life I have even bought a house for us to live in and started a sucessful business in addition to my job to provide for my girlfriend who I really want to be my wife and our family with...
She has been brain washed and influenced so much that even now she is beginning to think maybe she should just marry this guy to keep her parents happy, and that we should split.... Im sure you can imagine this is easier said then done... Being apart from her or not hearing her voice for atleast 1 sec of the days breaks my heart. All i want to do is provide for this girl and make her my wife....WHY DOES THIS CAST SYSTEM MATTER TO SOME....WE ARE BOTH SIKHS AND BOTH WANT TO MARRY AND CARRY ON LIVING AS SIKHS
She has now decided that her heart is telling her to leave her family and come with me as she knows this is what she wants, her mind is telling her to stop and think about the family..... I really dont know what to say any more her father did the same to her two older sister who both wanted to marry SIKH guys but both were not in the JATT CAST or picked by him, again a status and pride thing...
I really would appreciate some advice from you fellow sikhs, I know this is a long post but when matters of the heart are concerned Im sure you understand what we are going through.....
IS IT WRONG FOR HER TO LEAVE HER PARENTS AND TO MARRY THE ONE SHE REALLY LOVES.....???
HOW DO WE GET HER PARENTS TO SEE SENSE?? I CAN'T BEGIN TO SHARE OUR PAIN WITH YOU GUYS ITS JUST SO SO SO UPSETTING THAT THESE TRADITIONS ARE STILL GOING ON IN SOCIETY TODAY...
8 years is a long time and we cant just let this go without a fight. Not physical obviously...
We really do need some advice.... Please post if you can help or have an opinion....
TWO SIKHS IN LOVE BUT CAUGHT IN A RING OF FIRE WHICH SEEMS TO BE GETTING HIGHER...
PLEASE HELP!! - STORY BELOW
Good evening my fellow sikhs. I hope you can shed some light on the painful and depressing situation me and my girlfriend are going through.
ABIT ABOUT US;
Firstly let me introduce myself I'm 25 year old male from the UK working in the teaching and arts profession and my girlfriend is 23 soon to be 24 and is working in the banking and finance profession.
We have known each other since we were 16 and met in college here in LONDON, we have had an overall very good 8 years together, obviously we have had problems along the way but our love and understanding has kept us close and allowed us to build a strong relationship that is still going today.
The last month of our relationship has been HELL, my girlfirends parents don't believe in out of cast marriage and have never allowed such a thing with both her older sister... They call themselves sikhs but yet can't let go off the fact that I am not a Jatt so not acceptable for there daughter.
By the way they don;t know about us and don;t know we have been seeing each other for so long.
My family know about her and totally accept her and are fully willing to let me marry her. By the way her family are very status orientated and very society thinking... Always thinking what will others think of us if we do this... VERY PROUD HIGHY AND MIGHTY PEOPLE.....
Anyway a few weeks ago her father arranged for her to meet a BOY from the same cast whose family he has been introduced too. She went along for the sake of her father and met this guy, after which she came home crying and told me that she didnt want to marry him....I told her to go straight home and confess and tell her mum whats going on and she already has someone she wants to marry (ME)
She went home and broke the news to her mother, her dad is in India at present so no news has been shared with him yet... Her mother totally ruled me out, she had a fit and told her not to see me again and that this wedding will never happen... SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK MY NAME OR WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING... she just saw that I wasnt a jatt and in that case not suitable for her daughter.
Its been three weeks or so since she met this guy and ever since she has been emotionally black mailed by her family, both her mother and sisters have been saying stuff like if you marry him I will die, your dad will die, the usual. bollywood lines families come up with when this happens. They keep saying stuff like you will get over him, well my answer to this is so will they if they let us marry, why spoil your child happiness.
Sikhism says you should marry a fellow sikh and creed, status and cast should not even been taken into consideration, isnt that right??
Both her sisters are so unsupportive they totally sticking to what the mother has to say they are all hoping that this will die down before the dad gets back from India and that she wont even need to tell him. Her sister is so vindictive shes doesnt care about her shes just thinking about herself... If your care about your siblings shouldnt you support them in there decision instead saying things like forget about him, his no good etc etc...
They have also mentally pressured her so much that just to get some peace of mind she has been forced into saying yes to the guy she saw.
As you can imagine this has been hell for us both we love each other so much and its feels right to get married, for the last 2,3 years I have been working extra hard in order to plan out our life I have even bought a house for us to live in and started a sucessful business in addition to my job to provide for my girlfriend who I really want to be my wife and our family with...
She has been brain washed and influenced so much that even now she is beginning to think maybe she should just marry this guy to keep her parents happy, and that we should split.... Im sure you can imagine this is easier said then done... Being apart from her or not hearing her voice for atleast 1 sec of the days breaks my heart. All i want to do is provide for this girl and make her my wife....WHY DOES THIS CAST SYSTEM MATTER TO SOME....WE ARE BOTH SIKHS AND BOTH WANT TO MARRY AND CARRY ON LIVING AS SIKHS
She has now decided that her heart is telling her to leave her family and come with me as she knows this is what she wants, her mind is telling her to stop and think about the family..... I really dont know what to say any more her father did the same to her two older sister who both wanted to marry SIKH guys but both were not in the JATT CAST or picked by him, again a status and pride thing...
I really would appreciate some advice from you fellow sikhs, I know this is a long post but when matters of the heart are concerned Im sure you understand what we are going through.....
IS IT WRONG FOR HER TO LEAVE HER PARENTS AND TO MARRY THE ONE SHE REALLY LOVES.....???
HOW DO WE GET HER PARENTS TO SEE SENSE?? I CAN'T BEGIN TO SHARE OUR PAIN WITH YOU GUYS ITS JUST SO SO SO UPSETTING THAT THESE TRADITIONS ARE STILL GOING ON IN SOCIETY TODAY...
8 years is a long time and we cant just let this go without a fight. Not physical obviously...
We really do need some advice.... Please post if you can help or have an opinion....