Matter closed....
I agree... at least in my head... but there seems to be enough people who say its wrong to wear either, that I a just wondering where they get it from??
I understand dressing somewhat modestly... but it's possible to dress modest and wear makeup that is very natural looking... And I don't think a necklace or a couple of gold bangles would ever hurt the Sikh image...
I came across this post on another site... the photo that was posted I will attach, and the text that accompanied it I will paste below. It was contributed by a Kaur... so just looking for opinions. I agree that the image she drew on the left is over the top and trashy looking... however I have seen many Kaurs wearing sleeveless salwar suits that looked perfectly fine, and also some modest makeup and a couple of gold bangles... and it looked nothing like the image she is trying to portray on the left.
------- Pasted Text -------
To All My Turbaned Kaurs
My dearest and most beloved sisters this is a message from my heart, one that I mean with much love, sincerity and respect. This message is simply that we need to represent and respect our turbaned beauty properly.
When we take Amrit we are told that we are now a part of the Khalsa Panth and that Dhan Siri Guru Gobind Singh Ji is our father and Mata Sahib Kaur is our mother. When we choose to take another step and tie a turban we are representing not only our beloved father but the entire Khalsa Panth. As daughters of Guru Gobind Singh Ji and women of the Khalsa there are certain expectations we must adhere to especially once we choose to wear his crown.
Just as you would never want to disgrace your worldly father, you should never want to disgrace or do beadbi to our Pita Ji Guru Gobind Singh. Remember, we are the shining jewels on his turban; we are his pride and joy! Our father dressed like a King and likewise he would want us, his princesses, to dress well BUT be modest and represent the physical saroop of a Singhni according to Gurbani and Rehat. Imagine sister, if you were called to Pita Ji’s court, what would you wear and how would you want to look in front of him? My dearest sisters, if you wouldn’t wear it in front of Guru Maharaj then you shouldn’t wear it in general.
Having said this my beautiful Kaurs I want you to know that I understand, oh I understand how hard it is to keep your kes and how hard it is to not want to wear makeup or be able to dress in the latest fashions just like every girl. But you must remember, YOU ARE NOT EVERY GIRL. You are special. You are a KAUR. You are the future of the Khalsa Panth. And if we want a strong future generation we must first make ourselves strong! I understand we must be loving and nurturing to each other however we must also take a stand on what is right according to Gurbani. I will never ever look down on or treat a turbaned Kaur who shaves or wears make up any different than a turbaned Kaur who doesn’t. However, I will not advocate that image by saying that it’s an ok thing to do either. I will give you the same warm smile and embrace genuinely because you are my sister and I love you but because you are my sister and I love you
I will also tell you that it’s wrong to cut your kes, wear makeup or dress inappropriately while wearing his crown.
A turban is a pure and natural image. I myself am by no means perfect. My demerits are uncountable, I have sinned SO many times and I continue to make mistakes every day! However, admitting our mistakes is the first step to fixing them and doing right. Before I tied my dastaar, I was Amritdhari but I was also the eye liner queen. I was addicted to eye liner and extremely used to how I looked with it on. Once I started tying a dastaar and fell in love with it. I started tying it cleaner and was obsessed with making it look nice because I wanted to look good. One day I thought OMG my eyes look so dead so I picked up the eyeliner and applied it. Then I looked up at the overall image of myself in the mirror and saw a contradiction. I tried to mix two things that just don’t mix. The crown of natural beauty rested upon my head and yet I applied a product that sent the message that I wasn’t beautiful enough in my natural state. As spiritual people I feel sometimes we flirt with the idea of “how much can I get away with and still be saved?” We push things to the utmost limit. For example, I enjoy wearing nice/cute/fashionable clothing and in my freshman year of college I really started pushing the limit of what I could wear and still be “modest”.
I didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong because I didn’t have any outright bad intentions. But one day my brother Vikram Singh asked me point blank “What are you wearing?” He might have even added that it doesn’t look good. I remember getting offended and giving him a snappy response of “what do you mean, I’m still covered up!” No one likes being told that they’re wrong and I admit Vikram Singh’s comment hurt my pride. However, looking back on the situation I see that my brother wasn’t trying to point out my sins or make me feel bad. He was only trying to help me, his little sister, walk the path. I also want to help my siblings. Sisters, I promise you I will be there for you if you need me. I’ve made so many mistakes involving Maya, Rehat and so forth I don’t want you to make the same mistakes! I want every Kaur stronger than the last because WE ARE THE FUTURE. But my beloved sister, even if you make a mistake I will still stand by you and embrace you. Furthermore, if I too have made the same mistake in my past I will try my best to help you get through it!
But my dear Kaur the best help you can get is from Guru Granth Sahib. Rehat is very important in Sikhi but to fully understand WHY Sikhs must do certain things, we have to build a relationship with Guru Sahib. Just like the more you talk to someone, the closer and better friends you become with them. THE SAME APPLIES TO GURU SAHIB. The more we read Gurbani and converse with our Guru, the closer we’ll be and the more we’ll understand and have the strength to do what Guru Sahib wants us to. We often say that we love Guru Sahib but if we truly loved him with the true love of the bhagats, martyrs and saints then we would do what Guru Sahib wanted us to do WITHOUT question. Sisters, if we truly desired to merge and become one with Waheguru (which is the purpose of this life) we would make every effort to do what Guru Sahib tells us to do.
“mat jaan seh galee paa-i-aa.
Do not think that your Husband Lord can be obtained by mere words.
maal kai maanai roop kee sobhaa it biDhee janam gavaa-i-aa. ||1|| rahaa-o.
You are wasting this life in the pride of wealth and the splendor of beauty. ||1||Pause||”
“pria bin seegaar karee thaethaa than thaapai kaapar a(n)g n suhaaee ||6||
Without my Beloved, the more I decorate myself, the more my body burns; these clothes do not look good on my body. ||6||”
If we truly loved Guru Sahib we would apply the concepts of Suniai (Listening) and Maniai (Faith) that come up in Jap Ji Sahib. We wouldn’t side step the importance of keeping kes when Gurbani clearly states that kes are necessary for naam simran.
“romae rom rom romae mai guramukh raam dhhiaaeaeraam ||
With each and every hair, with each and every hair, as Gurmukh, I meditate on the Lord.
rom rom har oucharai khin khin har soee ||
With each and every hair, they chant the Lord’s Name, each and every instant, the Lord.”
In Gurbani, Guru Sahib continually tells us to do simran, chant the Lord’s name if we want to be saved and become one with Waheguru. He gave us a distinct life style and a distinct image in order to help us focus our minds DO SIMRAN. My dear sisters, if we do not listen to Guru Sahib and still say we love him then we do not truly love him. Not in the way Guru Angad Dev Ji loved Guru Nanak Dev Ji or the way Guru Amardas Ji loved Guru Angad Dev Ji. No. Until we can listen to our virtuous Guru’s commands we are ALL caught in the love of duality.
“ih man mailaa ik na Dhi-aa-ay.
This mind is filthy and polluted; it does not meditate on the One.
antar mail laagee baho doojai bhaa-ay.
Deep within, it is soiled and stained by the love of duality.”
My dearest Kaurs, Guru Sahib Ji constantly explained that TRUE LOVE is obtained and self-will (manmat) is eradicated through meditating on his name alone. The only way to truly love everyone is by first loving your Guru who through the NAME will help you love God. Then you will see God in everyone and love everyone. Waheguru.
“bin naavai sabh bharam bhulaanee.
Without the Name, all are deluded by doubt.
gur sayvaa tay har naam paa-i-aa bin satgur ko-ay na paavni-aa. ||1||
Serving the Guru, the Lord's Name is obtained. Without the True Guru, no one can receive it. ||1||
ha-o vaaree jee-o vaaree har saytee chit laavani-aa.
I am a sacrifice, my soul is a sacrifice, to those who focus their consciousness on the Lord.
har sachaa gur bhagtee paa-ee-ai sehjay man vasaavani-aa. ||1|| rahaa-o.
Through devotion to the Guru, the True One is found; He comes to abide in the mind, with intuitive ease. ||1||Pause||”
My beautiful sisters, when we knowingly make the same mistake more than once it is no longer a mistake but a choice. In this sense we are choosing Maya over Guru Sahib/Waheguru EVERYTIME. We often get hurt when someone says something to us rudely. For example, my mom yells at me when I don’t wake up during Amrit Vela for Nitnem. Being a Punjabi mom she doesn’t sugar coat it, she straight up says “How can you wear a dastaar and represent the image of Guru Sahib’s Sikh and NOT wake up for amritvela?” I admit hearing her “attack” my dastaar hurts my pride but what she is saying is the truth, no matter how she is saying it.
“gur sathigur kaa jo sikh akhaaeae s bhalakae out(h) har naam dhhiaavai ||
One who calls himself a Sikh of the Guru, the True Guru, shall rise in the early morning hours and meditate on the Lord’s Name.”
We often say Guru Sahib sends us messages through other Sikhs, well then what if this is Guru Sahib yelling at me for not waking up during Amrit Vela through my mom? My dear sisters, the only way to correct ourselves is to admit when we are wrong and take steps to make changes. If an addict doesn’t admit he is an addict and tries justifying his behavior he will never change. PLEASE let’s go back to the basics. Read Gurbani and do Simran and Ardaas to Guru Sahib. He will give you strength.
Nothing makes me happier than seeing a Kaur with a dastaar. I get so happy when a sister asks me to tie a dastaar on her, tells me they plan to start tying a dastaar or want help learning how to tie one. But nothing hurts me more than disrespect to Gurbani and disrespect to Guru Sahib. I cannot tolerate it, and we as Sikhs should not tolerate it. I understand that I am no one to point the faults of others because I am filled with faults of my own but to me dear sisters you are not others, you are part of my Khalsa Panth family. And if we truly wish to become one with our Guru and Waheguru then we have to embody Guru Sahib’s way of thinking. Only water can merge with water. We can only merge with Waheguru if we are pleasing to him and we are only pleasing to him if we follow Guru Sahib’s teachings.
A wise Gursikh once told me; when you see someone doing something wrong you should kindly explain to them up to three times. If after the third time they still don’t listen, you did your part as a Gursikh and now it’s between them and God. However, the best thing you can do for someone is Ardaas. Thank Guru Sahib for making you strong enough to accept your unaltered self, ask him to continue to keep you strong (because ANYONE can fall) and ask him to please help the other Sikh become strong as well.
Ultimately sisters, it is all about YOU and YOUR relationship with Waheguru. But Sangat is also important because it affects your thoughts and actions. So sisters, let’s be the best Sangat possible for each other and encourage each other to follow the truth that is found in Gurbani. We each have our own struggles but instead of being stuck struggling with our struggles lets struggle to follow the TRUE path! Remember dear sisters, you can fool the world but you cannot fool God. In the end your account will be read and you will have to pay accordingly to your deeds.
“tooN valvanch look karahi sabh jaanai jaanee raam.
You are practicing deception secretly, but the Lord, the Knower, knows all.
laykhaa Dharam bha-i-aa til peerhay ghaanee raam.
When the Righteous Judge of Dharma reads your account, you shall be squeezed like a sesame seed in the oil-press.
kirat kamaanay dukh saho paraanee anik jon bharmaa-i-aa.
For the actions you committed, you shall suffer the penalty; you shall be consigned to countless reincarnations.
mahaa mohnee sang raataa ratan janam gavaa-i-aa.
Imbued with the love of Maya, the great enticer, you shall lose the jewel of this human life.”
I did not mean to offend anyone so please do not feel offended. I only drew these pictures to help visually depict my case. I am in no way saying that some Kaurs are better than others, I am simply saying that we must represent our turbans properly with modesty and utmost respect to Pita Ji.
“it maarag chalay bhaa-ee-arhay gur kahai so kaar kamaa-ay jee-o.
So walk on this Path, O sister soul-brides; do that work which the Guru tells you to do.
ti-aagayN man kee mat-rhee visaarayN doojaa bhaa-o jee-o.
Abandon the intellectual pursuits of the mind, and forget the love of duality.
i-o paavahi har darsaavarhaa nah lagai tatee vaa-o jee-o.
In this way, you shall obtain the Blessed Vision of the Lord's Darshan; the hot winds shall not even touch you.
ha-o aaphu bol na jaandaa mai kahi-aa sabh hukmaa-o jee-o.
By myself, I do not even know how to speak; I speak all that the Lord commands.”
My beautiful sisters, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE forgive me if I said anything wrong. _/\_ WAHEGURU JI.
