Hi everyone, as you may see from the title my problem can seem pretty simple. Three years ago i met my husband, Manj as i'll call him, has always been a hardworkimg bloke, the youngest of three sons from an indian family that had set up home here in the 60's the whole family are proud sikhs and have sucssessful businesses, are extremly hardworking. Thats where the nice story ends, you see i went to work for the family a few years back i just hit thirty had been divorced for year and had four kids to look after, so thats what i did. The family praised me for my family values and would often invite me into their home with the children, as it turn out i spent more and more time with the youngest son, in fact his mother would often ask me to guide them onto a good path, a good family path, even though my marriage was ended they could see i am dedicated to my kids ands traditional home values. I hepled the middle brother set up his new business, many an hour me and the two brothers would work long hours and them being the kind people they were, would feed my kids, or pick them up from school etc, in fact we all had a good relationship, often the older brothers wives would call me for advice or to go out shopping, as the two older brothers had arranged marriages and there wives had not long been in england, but the whole family trusted me with my sister-in-laws, often i have had to stay at home with them whilst there husbands were out on business, and cook with them, or they would teach me punjabi. This was all fine until we realise that me and manj were in love, even though i had four kids and he is 5 years younger than me, i could'nt let go. Don't ever think his attitude was ever that of just lust, he really meant it, we would met up after work, in laybys or at parks and talk of the day when we would one day tell the would we were together, so just to make sure, manj went to india for two weeks, and we both knew it was his turn to see the match maker, but we agreed that it was in the hands of god, and infact if it was just lust then he would be pointed in the way of true love ( eg his bride) so off he went and by the next day he was on the phone saying he just could'nt do it, we agreed that he should stay out there and tell the family when he came back. So we did, erm.... well there response was well erm...................well the fight continues, even though i converted to sikhism, and my children, even though i study punjabi everyday even though i cook from scratch just like his mother taught me, only this time i have to get the spices myself. No matter what i do they have never excepted me. I agreed to live with the family, i worked in there businesses for nothing, as a family member then when they found out they threatened to burn my house down, they kicked me out of my job, attacked me, emptied my husbands bank account , taken his passport and documents, they tryed bribing him with money when he refused they beat me up. i was spat at in a street in a well known part of london, because i was wearing a bhindi and holding my husbands hand. We are noe in sort of hiding, we have no money, as the family have made sure it is difficult for him to get a job, i mean what do you put on your c.v, i worked for my dad since i was 8 and have no qulifacations and he has no chance of a referance, coz its his dad. And of course they have all his i.d so we can't even prove he's British, let alone anything else. I mean the list is endless. but know we are waiting to move again, because the family kicked him out of his home, and we have tryed to struggle on, and we both agreed to keep our faith going stronger then ever. but the question i ask every sikh is when are you following religion and when are you following culture, because my understanding of sikhism, is that we must except everyone and allow them into our religion. In fact is that not the point that Guru Nanak makes when he intoduced Langar ( Free vegeterian food in temples) so to break the caste system, so prevelent in the 16th century, hold on, sorry to sound bitter but it seems no-one is listens to the scriptors, this is still going on in our present day 2006 and i'm in hiding from an indian family. We got married last year, on our own , we ask the family and community to help, but no-one did so we did it on our own. I'm now pregnant with our first child together. and we are very proud and he/she will have a good Punjabi name given by the temple, and he/she will be brought up in a good stable sikh home, regardless of weather the parents are red blue pink or back, we are all sikhs. one god
Dee
Dee
: 
