Re: Need Help
Bhenji
welcome to the forum, I am sorry to hear of your problem.
Actually, it is not really a problem, look upon it as an awakening. For years you have bartered with God, made deals, made promises, and you have felt you have been rewarded, that you have a real personal relationship with God, that God loves you, and as long as you do the things that you do, God will reward you with whatever it is you want. I went through such a phase in my mid twenties, after all, it had worked for years, why should it stop working?
well it did stop working, I lost everything, and I blamed God, it was at that point I started to view God as something bigger than just a deity to make my dreams come true, i spent 15 years rejecting God, but living a good life, being helpful, kind, considerate, not to please God, or to make a deal, or to get something out of it, but purely because I had tried being everything else. After 15 years, I realised that instead of talking to God, I should be talking to Creation, and then I saw that God truly was in all Creation, in all animals, in all people, and that my place on this earth was not to fulfill my own selfish needs, but to be at peace with what I had, I still strive for goals, I am a sucker for old Land Rovers, and I love my food, but I would not dirty the relationship I have with Creator for asking anything other than I am given, or that I work for.
You have turned God into an all giving God, a God whose role is to reward you for your devotion with the reality of your desires, this may be how God works in some religions, but not in Sikhism. I think you guys need to take a break from each other, the whole relationship is bad, its like a marriage based on sex and sex alone, it doesnt work, you need to review your expectations, and your image of God, you need to turn God from an all giving diety to a concept that you serve, the name of God in Sikhism is the truth, and it is the truth you need to fall in love with, not a personal Jesus.
Praying and doing path I am sure has its merits, but I will leave that to someone more able to guide you on that front than myself, perhaps if you apply yourself and keep God out of your own desires and wants, you will find the relationship changing, if you accept whatever outcome based on your actions rather than your prayers, you may find it easier.
Good Luck
