OWN YOUR LIFE: CREATE AS YOU GO
(6 Virtues that can change your life)
Book Review by Dr. Devinder Pal Singh
Book Title : Own Your Life: Create As You Go
Author : Parm Sran, Well-Being Coach & Inspirational Speaker
Published by : Amazon.ca, Bolton, Ontario, Canada
Year of Publication: 2021 Price: N. A.; Pages: 100
Reviewer : Dr. Devinder Pal Singh, Director, CanBridge Learning & Educational Consultant, Mississauga, ON, Canada
Parm Sran is a multifaceted personality. She is a Mental Health nurse, a Well-Being Coach, an Inspirational Speaker, and a YouTuber. Now she is an author too. During her more than two decades of a professional career in Nursing, she has helped numerous people from diverse communities to overcome their mental health challenges. Furthermore, being a noted speaker at various International Conferences and Seminars on Women's Empowerment & Mental Health, she regularly participates in various TV shows to make people aware of coping with life's challenges.
Parm Sran opines that we are spiritual beings having the power to change and create new realities. She points out that people we meet, places we go, and books we read change our mindsets. To have better mental health, healthier relationships, and worthwhile life, we must take care of our inner worlds before we start sorting out the outer world. The external world starts changing automatically as we start making changes within ourselves. This fact comes out very prominently in her works.
"Own Your Life: Create as You Go" outlines Parm Sran's journey of life transformation. From a person suffering from clinical depression, in constant denial of her condition, suffering from self-limiting beliefs, past regrets, anger, guilt and relationship conflicts to her transformation into a person full of positive energy, enthusiasm, optimism and leading an exemplary life full of joy and peace, is quite a journey, worth knowing.
Tonny Robbins, her mentor, helped her see life from an alternative viewpoint. It helped her to change her way of life. Then, as a student at Power Voice Academy, she met Les Brown, a Motivational Speaker, who encouraged her to put her voice into words so that it can help others. Finally, Eric Lofholm, a Best-selling author, and Entrepreneur enabled her to bring this book to life. In his Foreword to the book, Les Brown points out that Parm has not only described her skills and methods to overcome depressions but also ably portrayed her journey to win against self-limiting beliefs, relationship conflicts, and bullying.
"Own Your Life: Create as You Go" delineates six virtues that can change your life. The book is divided into four parts. In the Introduction (Part 1), the book's purpose has been stated as twofold. Firstly, based on the author's life-changing experiences, it is authored to help those facing life challenges such as mental illness, relationship strifes, financial difficulties, or feeling trapped. Secondly, it is penned to raise awareness on the connection between mind, body and spirit, methods to better one's mental health and how to start living life to its fullest.
She points out that confidence is the foundation of one's persona and the central pillar for success in one's life. It can enhance or diminish via the way one is interacted with. Based on her childhood experiences (e.g., bullied for being short-statured), the author felt not good enough. This lack of self-confidence led to her having low self-esteem and ultimately made her prone to making wrong choices in life.
Elaborating on "regaining self-confidence," she asserts that we can certainly change whatever we acquire. She recommends that we must start each day with positive affirmations. Remind yourself that you are worthy of all the success that you desire. Be assertive, share your opinion politely, and don't let others' opinions affect you. Use more words with positive emotions, e.g., Rather than saying 'I am going nuts," you should say "I am thrilled /excited." Find one belief that marred your confidence and self-esteem; change it. Happiness is a state of mind. Be happy the way you are. You don't have to be like everyone else to be happy. Be grateful for the good things in your life.
She asserts that trust is a considerable aspect of life. The feeling that you cannot trust others arise from your lack of self-trust, which is a breeding ground for fear. She recommends that parents can enable their children to create their own identities by nurturing positive beliefs, thoughts, actions, and virtues in them.
Deliberating on relationships, she opines that the quality of every relationship depends on the quality of your relationship with yourself. To have better relationships, you must understand yourself. She asserts that when there is no way out of any relationship conflict, there is always a way in. Avoid mental abuse, as it is a silent killer in any relationship. Professional help can provide a soothing effect in such a situation.
In part 2 of the book, Parm proclaims that we are spiritual beings and have the power to change and create new realities. She affirms that the first step on the journey to creating new realities is to stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for our actions. Self-exploration, understanding and self-development (by replacing negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones) can make us more assertive and confident in our relationships.
The author reports that limiting beliefs keeps us from doing what we want to do to make progress in life. Such ideas lead to low self-esteem and low self-confidence in us. Everything is created twice, first in our mind and then in reality. To change our situation (e.g., financial difficulties), we must change our beliefs (e.g., about money).
Parm opines that low self-esteem may turn a person into a people pleaser. Such a person is often reluctant to say no to avoid confronting others. To enhance your mental peace, learn to say no to what you don't want or like. Stay away from what doesn't match your core values. On the journey to self-awareness, avoid comparing yourself with others. Quoting the law of attraction, the author reports that one pushes away one's success by being jealous of others' success. Instead, create the virtue of accepting others' success.
Part 3 of the book focuses on 'Our Inner World Affects Our Outer World.' The author points out that the mind is our ability to create thoughts, feel emotions and visualize. Mindset is a process of everyday choices. To develop a positive, solid, and unshakable mindset, we must adapt (i) An attitude of gratitude, (ii) Practice mindfulness during each moment of life (iii) Abstain from multitasking to enhance our focus on the task at hand. (iv) As emotions are the language of the mind, acknowledge them, name them, and never numb them. To experience positive emotions, one must live in the present moment and avoid reliving the hurtful past. (v) Thoughts create emotions, emotions affect our actions, and our actions form our behavior. Repetitive behavior becomes habits, and habits create our destiny. So, by changing our thoughts, we can change our destiny. Create and nurture good thoughts to create your promising future.
Parm emphasizes character building. To build a positive character, she asserts that we must practice virtues of love, acceptance, non-judgmental, detachment, forgiveness, letting go, faith, commitment, and wisdom. In addition, Parm urges us to be committed to making appropriate changes in our lives to achieve our dreams. To do so, she suggests (i) Exercising (ii) Feeding the mind with positivity, (iii) Avoiding procrastination, (iv) Staying committed to giving, (v) Keeping honest and transparent communication, (vi) Staying joyful and being consistent.
The last section (Part 4) of the book describes methods to stay positive and grateful, achieve personal goals and meditate. In the last chapter, 'Bus stop to the Airport,' she outlines her journey across the continents, her emigration hardships and struggles to reach her current status. She ends her story on a positive note: "if someone tells you that you can't do something, do it twice! There is always a way if you are committed enough to find it." Through her personal success story of realizing her dreams by consistent dedication to them, she inspires us to stay 100% committed to what we are doing and assure us that the universe will move things around us to accommodate our hope and desires.
Parm's partly autobiographical book is quite fascinating and engaging. Once you start, it is tough to put it down without reading it till the end. She has a great mastery of presenting her life experiences in a lucid and authentic style. The whole content is replete with open and honest reflections. She is unstintingly honest and unafraid as she excavates her motivations and reservations, fantasies, and the implications of her choices. Insightful, discreet, and fearlessly frank, Pram attracts readers with her warmth, wit, and wisdom.
Despite numerous challenges and obstacles in her life, the author has presented a great zest for life in her book. Stylistically it is an excellent book to inspire and delight readers everywhere. Moreover, the whole book is easy to read and comprehend. En passant, I am truly amazed how Parm Sran has shared all the information so meticulously.
Pram Sran is a shining example of a Mental Health Nurse who portrays an interrelationship among mental health, wellbeing, worthwhile life, relationships, literary activities, rationality, and spirituality. In addition, she exemplifies the underlying unity of these diverse fields of human thought and action.
"Own Your Life: Create as You Go" passes on to us much of the wisdom of Parm’s extraordinary personal journey. Believe it or not, all this makes for an excellent and glorious adventure in reading. Even if you are not in any difficult life situation, this is an enjoyable read. "Own Your Life: Create as You Go" has the potential to inspire countless readers/learners around the world and give them a unique insight to face the challenges of life with confidence. It is a timeless book to be rightly treasured by all learners and well-being seekers.
