- Jan 31, 2011
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Yes, he was back, for a day, and then, he was gone, and I have been howling ever since. I have a vision in my head of me, the true me, and it is so far apart from who I become, yet, I cannot.
Why? Howling by its very restrictions placed on me by by current position in life ,has morphed into inwardness, complete peace with myself and my environment, but upto a point, and the standard that this point represents is very low, I do enough good during the day, that when I am wolf, I am already stacking up rewards for later, and that is how I live with myself. When I am man these deeds become habit and not worthy of a second thought nor a mention, but being wolf negates these deeds and only brings a false peace within. Being man , the thing I remeber the most is contentment and being close to my family, the simple pleasures, walking the dogs, cuddling my wife, feeding the dogs, driving my car, and offering time and assistance where I can. But every now and then the wolf howls, a sad pathetic howl, like the sound of harpies, enchanting, you feel your stomach flutter, the feeling of ego and pride being fed, of hunger being satisfied, of booze, driving fast, and general base feelings calling,
tommorow I will try and wake up again
Why? Howling by its very restrictions placed on me by by current position in life ,has morphed into inwardness, complete peace with myself and my environment, but upto a point, and the standard that this point represents is very low, I do enough good during the day, that when I am wolf, I am already stacking up rewards for later, and that is how I live with myself. When I am man these deeds become habit and not worthy of a second thought nor a mention, but being wolf negates these deeds and only brings a false peace within. Being man , the thing I remeber the most is contentment and being close to my family, the simple pleasures, walking the dogs, cuddling my wife, feeding the dogs, driving my car, and offering time and assistance where I can. But every now and then the wolf howls, a sad pathetic howl, like the sound of harpies, enchanting, you feel your stomach flutter, the feeling of ego and pride being fed, of hunger being satisfied, of booze, driving fast, and general base feelings calling,
tommorow I will try and wake up again
