Today's Professional Management FUNDAS

[Admin]

1."We will do it" means "You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the
same"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done
"At least not tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I
have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will
talk later"

8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver
on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually
fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help
you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me
earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you
where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just
ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."

15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything
about it"

17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

 

[Arvind]

HAHAHAHA.... I liked point 3, 13, 15 the most though

 

[Archived_Member16]

If only Resumes told the truth!

OBJECTIVE: To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior.

EDUCATION
School: Very Expensive
Major: Not Important
GPA: Don't Ask

EMPLOYMENT

* NETWORK MANAGEMENT (Present): Produced daily itinerary of television programs to watch. Duties included changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after those messages.

* DEBT CONSOLIDATION (7/05-10/06): Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that goes straight to my father.

* RESIDENT INHALER (9/03-6/05): Assisted all students with chemical intake from purchasing to exhaling.

COMPUTER SKILLS
* Solitaire
* Minesweeper
* On/Off Repair Method

HONORS AND AWARDS
* First Place in Hot Dog eating and beer drinking tournaments.
* Said Toast at brother's wedding.
* Highest Score on Pin Ball Machine.

For further references, contact my mother. For positive responses, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant.

 

[Arvind]

Computer Skills are too funny... I would like to add my bit too - Five in a Row, BlastBilliards, Pool