- Jan 31, 2011
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I had no idea my mother read my blog, my father rang me a few weeks ago, go easy harry, he said, I have to wake up to your mother in tears in the morning as she is reading your blog,
So instead of talking in riddles, of howling, of wolves, I decided to try and sort things out, the truth is, Sian is going through the menopause, and its hard, for her, for me, my sweet, patient and kind wife is now constantly in pain in her joints, is frustrated, impatient, and quite angry. It does not help that at the same age her mother lost both breasts to cancer and a few years later, her sight,
Sian is 9 years older than me, although I look 9 years older than her, but I think she is feeling 'old', she cannot take the dogs for any walks anymore, her ankles are like razor blades digging in, this whole menopause thing is crazy, although it has made me much more aware of this change that affects all women. I find myself being more patient with women of a certain age, although I am not sure if that is patronising or not.
We now know that the change is upon us, but a few months ago, we were on the verge of splitting up, Sian was changing, and I was howling, and in the end we became strangers, the hot flushes meant that any intimacy was impossible, and we both came to the sad conclusion that we must have fallen out of love with each other, what we did not realise was that our relationship was so good that neither of us was prepared to tolerate an 'average' relationship with arguments and petty disagreements, what saved us were the kids, the puppies, we could hurt each other, even ourselves, but not the boys, maybe the problem is that we haven never really argued before, I dunno, maybe my ridiculously high sex drive threw a spanner in the works, either way, the whole thing has made me a better person, I cannot remember the last time I had sex, but I do remember the last time I saw her laugh, the last time Rory jumped on the bed, the last time Bran kissed me, the last time my mum and dad smiled, even the last time my brother had a decent conversation with me, I feel like I have come out of madness,
To get me through, I did not do any of the traditional things, I just tried to follow the truth, like a glowing star in the skies, tried to navigate by it, am still trying, every day, it shines a bit brighter, but to get it to shine, you have to live and think a certain way, the way of a Sikh
So instead of talking in riddles, of howling, of wolves, I decided to try and sort things out, the truth is, Sian is going through the menopause, and its hard, for her, for me, my sweet, patient and kind wife is now constantly in pain in her joints, is frustrated, impatient, and quite angry. It does not help that at the same age her mother lost both breasts to cancer and a few years later, her sight,
Sian is 9 years older than me, although I look 9 years older than her, but I think she is feeling 'old', she cannot take the dogs for any walks anymore, her ankles are like razor blades digging in, this whole menopause thing is crazy, although it has made me much more aware of this change that affects all women. I find myself being more patient with women of a certain age, although I am not sure if that is patronising or not.
We now know that the change is upon us, but a few months ago, we were on the verge of splitting up, Sian was changing, and I was howling, and in the end we became strangers, the hot flushes meant that any intimacy was impossible, and we both came to the sad conclusion that we must have fallen out of love with each other, what we did not realise was that our relationship was so good that neither of us was prepared to tolerate an 'average' relationship with arguments and petty disagreements, what saved us were the kids, the puppies, we could hurt each other, even ourselves, but not the boys, maybe the problem is that we haven never really argued before, I dunno, maybe my ridiculously high sex drive threw a spanner in the works, either way, the whole thing has made me a better person, I cannot remember the last time I had sex, but I do remember the last time I saw her laugh, the last time Rory jumped on the bed, the last time Bran kissed me, the last time my mum and dad smiled, even the last time my brother had a decent conversation with me, I feel like I have come out of madness,
To get me through, I did not do any of the traditional things, I just tried to follow the truth, like a glowing star in the skies, tried to navigate by it, am still trying, every day, it shines a bit brighter, but to get it to shine, you have to live and think a certain way, the way of a Sikh
