Gurbani says to battle with the mind day and night. What you wrote above is the battle playing out in your daily life. This to me is true bagti...to overcome whatever is holding us back from doing the right thing 'naturally'
For me, the mind is like a computer...it almost always throws up thoughts based on past events, past experiences...things that have found a home deep in our subconscious minds. Throw some data into the mind, it collects, analyses and then throws up thoughts based on this 'stored' data or 'rules'. If we like slaves just follow the minds thoughts, then i believe destiny is pre-defined based on the rules of the mind.
Break free from the shackles of the mind, then you create a whole new future based on instinctual thoughts of love, compassion, forgiveness etc etc
A scientist did an experiment looking at quality and structure of water crystals when put before 'words' and 'vibrations'. look at the difference between the structure when water is 'swore' at, or when clasical music playes...or when religious words are said with love.
considering our bodies are mainly water...you can see the affect our own words and others can have on our structure.
this is just an example of the effects of words, vibrations and the emotion behind them.
Just some thoughts Harry Ji...me and you will never agree on this subject 
God bless ji.
