1984 Anti-Sikh Pogrom Attacks On Sikhs In The 1980s Why Do You Chose To Forget?

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

Brothers and sisters, can we please be civil to each other. Hard talk is fine, but bickering and namecalling solves nothing.

I do not feel patronised. Kindness and compassion should be encouraged, not criticised.

I have communicated with some others involved and have permission now to tell some things that I have been holding back. I feel this is important because I can in no way condone prejudice against Hindus or anyone else.

I am alive today. My cousin who was also there and also pregnant, is alive today. We have both built productive lives.

The only reason we are alive is because of one neighbour family. They are very conservative, orthodox, devout Hindu Brahmins. They were on a pilgrimage, but returned to Delhi as soon as they heard about the violence. They came because they were concerned about their Sikh neighbours. They were too late to save our men, but they got there as the mob was preparing to burn our house. They got them to stop, came into our house, waded through our dead bodies, checking each to see if any was alive. My cousin who had evidentally fainted came to and they helped her out. They found me still alive and carried me, unconscious and bleeding profusely, to their home, to their bed, somehow got me medical help, and saved my life. Without them both of us would have burnt with the house. Can you possibly realise what this cost them? But they did it without hesitation.

Prejudice against any group is abhorent. Whether Sikhs, Hindus, Muslims, whatever, my experience is that 10% are good, 10% are evil, and the rest are just trying to put one foot in front of the other and do the best they can.

Now I repeat my plea: Parents, please talk to your children about what happened. I know it is difficult. I know it is painful. I know it takes courage. I have been here, in public, on the Internet, psychologically bleeding all over my computer, hoping that you will have this dialog. If any of you think this is easy for me, please be disabused of that notion. I am having trouble typing because of shaking and I haven't been able to sleep. I am doing this only to try to open discussion.

Did you read this young man Skeptik, who thinks he doesn't know any '84 survivors? Someone enlighten him!

And I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for openness, communication and respect across our generations.

THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW HISTORY ARE CONDEMNED TO REPEAT IT.

Thank you all.

 

[dalsingh]

Mai,

Thank you sharing your story. It was touching and I am in admiration of your courage and resilience. May Waheguru continue to bless you.

In 1984 I was 11/12 twelve years old in London. When the army attacked Darbar Sahib and we came to know of it, it had a profound effect on our minds, that has lasted all these years later. The Gurdwaras were in an uproar here. Later, when we heard of what happened in Delhi and other places we felt numb and powerless. Perhaps being so young contributed.

In the following years, we came across many smuggled pictures of Sikhs who had been executed and tortured secretly. (The man mainly responsible for publishing the pictures was shot dead in an assasination on the streets of Southall a few years ago, his killer was never caught, I met his son when I was at university).

Many years later when I visited relatives in India, I also came to know that a massurs family in Delhi was killed by the mobs, this included not only a grown man but also his 14 year old son who were burnt to death. They had no connection to any militancy.

Later some of us did try to highlight these things to the wider Sikh public in the UK and some of us do tell the younger generation of those days, so they are aware. We also try and exert some influence on the government here to open up this hidden part of our recent past.

Sorry for the rambling.

 

[kaur]

Every human has his rights... to deny anothers rights is to deny your own.
That is why I stand for the rights of the Tamil Dravidian, the Kerala Christian, the Rajasthani in the desert, the Bengali on his river boat, the Dalit begging for alms, the Hyderabad engineer...

//sci-fi:
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River of Gods: Books: Ian McDonald
The story of India's 100th birthday, when the great nation has fractured into warring subnations on caste, religious and cultural lines. Like McDonald's other great novels, the story is beyond epic, with an enormous cast of richly realised characters and a vivid, luminous vision of techno-Hinduism that beggars the imagination.

 

[max314]

Attacks on Sikhs in the 1980s Why do you chose to forget?

Because this emotion:

:}--}:

has no place for a Sikkh.

It's not that history should be forgotten. It's simply that anger should not be harboured, for it leads to dark thoughts and dark deeds.

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

Max 314 Ji,

Because this emotion:

:}--}:

has no place for a Sikkh.

It's not that history should be forgotten. It's simply that anger should not be harboured, for it leads to dark thoughts and dark deeds.

What you say is, of course, 100% correct.

The children and grandchildren of us survivors want to know and need to know what happened, what we experienced, how it felt and how we have endured and grown. And how we have overcome the anger. It takes courage and strength to face these things, but isn't that at least part of what we get from being Sikhs?

To face such gross cruelty and injustice without anger and bitterness is impossible for a human being without help. But again, isn't that at least part of why we are Sikhs?

We need to talk and to listen to each other.

I hope I have not overstated the case or been offensive. But, please, let us face these things together across the generations, with love, understanding and respect.

 

[max314]

Why doesn't anyone want to remeber?? Why is it that Jews talk so much about there sacrifices and pains during the holocaust, while sikhs choose to keep the world in the dark, about the cruelty that they've had to face, WHY??????

That's rather presumptuous of you, isn't it? The Jews became successful intheir respective countries first and then began to let the world know about their plight. And the fact that it was always a central moral concern of World War II meant that it was impossible for the world not to know about it.

Besides, Sikkhs have hardly remained quiet about it. And those who choose not to live every moment of their lives writhing in hatred are not cowards or lazy people, but people who are able to remember the past without being trapped inside it. Let's look to the future, shall we?

A life filled with hate is not a life worth living.

And even if we were to remain angry, the woman who you hold responsible for these traversities is now dead. Precisely what would you like to focus this anger on? Hindus in general? All of India? Go ahead, but I warn you that you will simply become the very thing that you hate...because that's what hatred does.

Sometimes, being brave enough to forgive is even more courageous than being brave enough to fight.

 

[Archived_Member_19]

why do ppl feel anger..

its something to retrospect about....share the pain with those who suffered..heal wounds and move an..

yes...i was lucky not to be afftected in that phase...but as skeptik says... we donot know the true picture..

forgiving and forgetting question is only for those involved..

we can only support them with best we can.

 

[dalsingh]

Forgive.....ok

Forget......never

 

[kds1980]

as long as killers like jagdish tytler and sajjan kumar are alive and holding prestigious posts no sikh can forget 1984 carnage

 

[dalsingh]

Lets not forget KPS Gill and Brar........it wasn't just Hindus doing slaughter but Jatts too.

 

[Lionchild]

We shouldn't not "forget", however, we should move on - while the dark times of the 80's are remembered as a very dark time for Sikhs, we must not also let those times become our own focus of attention, nor let that area become a focus of hate and anger.

With that said, we should be trying to fix what is happening now, not what happened years ago.

We are actually living in darker times now - in terms of sikhi faith.

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

With that said, we should be trying to fix what is happening now, not what happened years ago.

Actually, we need to work on both. If we don't keep trying to bring those who perpetrated the violence in the 1980s to justice now, it will never be done. And it MUST BE DONE.

Darker times now? Maybe. I'm not sure. But certainly we have enough energy and dedication to work on both.

 

[nirmaan_singh]

If many patit sikhs remembered in their hearts what the Indian Govt did to the Sikhs they would never cut their hair, drink alcohol, and eat meat etc.....

 

[Lionchild]

If many patit sikhs remembered in their hearts what the Indian Govt did to the Sikhs they would never cut their hair, drink alcohol, and eat meat etc.....

Do we always have to bring up the stupid meat thing?

anyways, why would it make them stop the other things?

 

[saleen]

1984 was a confusing time. While on one hand the Sikhs were targeted by the majority congress-y Hindus and on the other hand lot of suffering Sikh families for protected by the Hindus. In general daily life an average educated Hindu knew what was happening was wrong.

in 2006, most of the progress the Sikh community has made is due to the "forgiving" part. However, in my opinion "forgetting" is not a wise decision. The 1984 tragedy should not be remembered for the sake of revenge but because it is needed as a lesson for the Sikhs. We are a minority community and we must protect ourselves. By educating our children about history, we teach them to protect themselves wisely and not put thier guards down, not let the governments manipulate them.

 

[dalsingh]

"in 2006, most of the progress the Sikh community has made is due to the "forgiving" part. However, in my opinion "forgetting" is not a wise decision. The 1984 tragedy should not be remembered for the sake of revenge but because it is needed as a lesson for the Sikhs. We are a minority community and we must protect ourselves. By educating our children about history, we teach them to protect themselves wisely and not put thier guards down, not let the governments manipulate them."

Very well put Saleen. I feel the same way.

 

[max314]

1984 was a confusing time. While on one hand the Sikhs were targeted by the majority congress-y Hindus and on the other hand lot of suffering Sikh families for protected by the Hindus. In general daily life an average educated Hindu knew what was happening was wrong.

in 2006, most of the progress the Sikh community has made is due to the "forgiving" part. However, in my opinion "forgetting" is not a wise decision. The 1984 tragedy should not be remembered for the sake of revenge but because it is needed as a lesson for the Sikhs. We are a minority community and we must protect ourselves. By educating our children about history, we teach them to protect themselves wisely and not put thier guards down, not let the governments manipulate them.

Yes, very much so.

 

[Gurcharan]

Perhaps I should keep my mouth shut as I have for the last 22 years, but maybe the time has come to speak out, at least a little. For most of these years, I have avoided anything Sikh, including most of my own family. Much of this time only my eldest brother had any idea where I was. This was not from fear or anger. It was purely from pain.

Although we are Canadians, we were visiting my husband's relatives in Delhi during late October, 1984. When the 'riots' broke out, what happened to everyone else happened to us. Most of the stories I've heard from others sound like the Sikhs just let everything happen. I simply can't believe that.

All of us, including me, 6 months pregnant, fought like demons. There was no way we could win, but we tried. After it was mostly over, when I could catch my breath and look around a little, I saw. I will never forget the blood all over my husband's body or the strange angle of my son's head. Or the other bodies Or the smell. Truthfully, I don't know how I survived; I was badly injured and, to be honest, had no interest in surviving. That is the bare bones of my story from then.

Recently, I had a stroke and was in the hospital in a coma for some days. Some of my nurses were Kaurs. They saw my kara, which I never stopped wearing, and took good care of me. We have become good friends. They are all in their 20s, and when I told them I was in Delhi at that time, they had a million questions. I told them to ask their parents. All said exactly the same thing: 'They won't talk about it.' So I have been talking about it.

The point is that they want to know, they need to know, and they have a right to know. And no one will tell them, except for one pathetic, lone individual who has been hiding out for 22 years.

Old wounds that have not healed need to be opened and treated and the infection cured, not ignored. Although I still want something like justice, the wish for vengeance died long ago. Now my wish is just for healing. We who went through this need to have the courage to face it, only then will healing be possible.

I hope I don't come to regret posting this. I am not comfortable making my feelings so public, but perhaps I can encourage others to come forward, and at least talk to their children.

Thank you for sharing. It must be tough recounting what happened so long ago. During 1984, many things happened which led from one situation to another. They were testing times, sad times. When the temple was attacked I felt sad, when sikhs were indiscrimately attacked and killed, I cried. Broken things can be mended, death and torture leaves an imprint. Must we forget, I say no. Must we forgive, yes.Must we document all this down, I say yes.. for all our future generations to know. Some say forget and move on, I say move on but don't forget.
Dear Sister, your story has touched me. I am sure there are many others who have suffered thus. But I am glad you decided to talk because that is the first step towards healing. Sikhs have good backbones, we will recover and come out stronger.
God Bless.

 

[babbraa]

Mai,

None of us can fully understand the pain that you went/are going through.
Sincerely Hope Waheguru heals the pain.
Never forget '84. Just learn from it.
My dad was working in Dehli when the rioting happened. He had to hide in his factory for two nights as he was warned about the troubles by one of his co-workers but he had no idea of the scale of the problem/rioting going on at the time outside. I guess he/we were the lucky ones to come out of it physically unhurt

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

Dear babbraa ji,

In the nearly two years since I originally published my comment above, there have been many changes in my life, the largest being that I re-took Amrit and have thus regained the Chardi Kala in my life that seemed to have been lost.

I have grown strong - not so much physically - as strong in spirit. My sister/cousin, Suni, my beloved mother-in-law and I have put togther a blog, The Road To Khalistan, THE ROAD TO KHALISTAN. If you will go there, the links to our stories of 1984 in detail are in the right-hand column. Please read them. They were not easy to write, but the story needs to be told.

I guess he/we were the lucky ones to come out of it physically unhurt

No, dear, luck had nothing to do with it. It was the Hukam of Vaheguru!