Harkiran Ji,
I would surmise that when you were first exposed to Sikhi, it appealed to you in no small measure due to the emphasis on egalitarianism and especially gender equality. This has been, still is and always will be in the message that Guru Sahib has delivered to us. This is what Guru Sahib lived, and this is the ideal that we all are to strive for.
Human beings, as they are, are flawed creatures. And the fact remains that whenever there is an institution that is managed or run by humans, there will invariably be failings.
I daresay that today, we have a very very minuscule number of Singhs and Singhnee's who could compare to the Great Sikhs of days gone by. Some poets have likened the present situation of the Sikh Quom as that of a gravely wounded lion, bleeding and left for dead. It perhaps would not be an exaggeration to state that the Sikhs today are nowhere near the strength or inspiration that they had been once. Sometimes it even seems that all that's left is a mere shadow of the greatness that once was.
By and large, Sikhs have disconnected from Bani. The result can be seen in these all too frequent news reports of fighting breaking out in Gurudwara's. The latest news is from Turlock, California. Seeing all the
sangat engaged in what appears like a petty bar-room brawl is painful enough, and then the really heartbreaking sight of the local police with shoes on and uncovered heads, and with weapons drawn, walking inside Darbar Sahib, will just about break any Sikhs heart. (I understand the police were called in to keep the peace, so the
sangat really have only themselves to blame. They, most of all, should understand the meaning of
Guru's Darbar in the Sikh ethos.) Furthermore, this is really not the type of publicity that Sikhs needs to be creating for themselves these days.
http://www.punjabspectrum.co/news/fight-inside-california-gurdwara-sahib/
http://www.abc10.com/story/news/loc...service-leads-brawl-among-attendees/78609284/
With the Quom in this state today, is it any wonder that problems such as the ones you've highlighted abound? Gender equality is only one issue. There are many, many, many other equally wrong things that are happening that must be corrected. And with great urgency.
A few thoughts on your questions below:
Then why do so many "Singhs" still want to see women in a subordinate role??
Those Singhs are ignorant of the teachings of Guru Sahib regarding gender equality. I would not get into heated arguments trying to convince them otherwise, they are on their own journey and they must learn and discover as part of their own learning., just as we all must. I would try instead to focus on my own inner spiritual development. However, if you must engage with them regarding this topic, it is helpful to commit a shabad to memory (Guru Nanak Sahib, Raag Aasaa, M1, Ang 473), which I will copy at the very end of this message.
Guru Sahib's Bani is supreme. Nobody can argue with it. If any Singh or Singhnee attempts to put you in a subordinate role or to argue with you that you or any female belongs in a subordinate role, kindly quote them Guru Sahib's Bani, and the important thing here is
to do it with all the love in your heart, do it kindly and sweetly, with no malice or hatred or anger. You may recite it with your mouth and words, or you may write it, or reference it on your phone or
Gutka Sahib. And then leave them to ponder and reflect. No amount of arguing or persuasion from facts, data, statistics, biology, etc. or your intellect will have as much impact or power as one
Shabad from Guru Sahib.
The important thing here, if you want to be a positive agent of change, is to do it with love. I know this is probably the hardest thing to ask you to do, especially when these people vex you so much. But that is precisely the challenge, and that is where all the spiritual growth lies. It's the people who get to us, who have the most to teach us about ourselves and of life. If it helps, you may view them as uneducated, maybe like schoolchildren who just didn't have the correct teacher to explain things to them. But always, love them. Even if they may be performing such discrimination against you, don't hold anger in your heart for them. Love them, and they will learn. They need your love.
- Women can't do kirtan at Darbar Sahib
- Women can't do Palki Sahib Seva at Darbar Sahib
- Women can't do washing of sanctum sanctorum and most other seva at Darbar Sahib.
Since Darbar Sahib is the most prominent Sikh holy place this place more than any other, should demonstrate equality!!!
It should be. However, this is just one of a long list of problems with the current leadership. Corruption is rife, blasphemy and sacrilege are regular occurrences, and the truthful and just people are being locked up in jails and tortured. Justice has taken wings and fled. The very Sikh institutions that the leaders are supposed to protect and uphold are being attacked and undermined. Even the panj pyare are not exempt. This is the sorry state to which Sikhism has been reduced to. It is notable that the elected interim Jathedar stated that in all of Sikh history, there has not been more sacrilege done than in the last several months. Where does this road lead?
- Some sects who have their own Rehet Maryada, keep women from seva as Panj Pyaras, even though there is nothing in gurbani to say they should limited from anything. And even though Sikh Rehet Maryada, the only accepted RM by Akal Takht says men or women can do seva as Panj Pyaras.
Sects are a dime a dozen. If you have not pledged allegiance to them, then don't let it bother you this much. You are not beholden to their rules. Gurbani should be your ultimate guide.
- The same sects, in their same RM also instruct women to see their husband as a God (Parmeshwar) over them, while the husband is told to see his wife as only a "faithful follower".
- The same sects, are the ones who oppose women doing seva on par with men at Darbar Sahib.
- Their RM also states women can not do seva during menstruation, even though Gurbani is clear that there is no such thing as sootak in Sikhi, Gurbani states that impurity is only in the mind.
These are Hindu beliefs and anyone practicing them is not following Sikhi or the teachings of Guru Sahib. Anyone who has any doubts can consult Guru Sahib directly.
- Most Gurdwara management everywhere across the planet is done by all men. I am one of the rare ones who as a female served on the executive now two years. Last year I was treasurer for my local Gurdwara. But may places, the Singhs would think it absolutely scandalous if a woman was elected to the Management Committee.
This is changing, but as with all things, all too slowly I'm afraid. But it is going in the right direction.
- I have interacted with a Singh online who said that being born a woman is result of bad karma and that it is a downgrade from a male body and a punishment. That males are higher status than females. That wives should bow to their husbands out of respect (but not the other way around) because the husband is higher status than the wife. Yes this guy is a Singh.
This is also a mistaken belief that was derived from the Hindu philosophy of life. According to Gurbani, there is no downgrade or upgrade. If you're born as a human being, we're all here equally due to our merit. And it is an equal chance for male and female to aspire to the Divine. If this Singh believes he is of a higher status than a female, then he is falling prey to the same thinking like caste-ism or racism etc. The proposed remedy for him is to study Gurbani (because clearly he hasn't). When his mind is illuminated, then he will achieve realization, with Gurus kirpa.
This is only a few examples. I am actually really depressed by the thoughts of some Singhs and really wondering if I was born into this body as a punishment...
I will state a few things that I know to be unequivocally true: you are born as a human due to your merit (
karma). Being a female and embodying the feminine is a great honor that the entire world does cherish and respect. Far from being a punishment, it is a privilege.
It really is irrelevant what others say or think, what's most important is what you think. If you keep putting your power into the hands of other folks, especially these Singhs, you're in for a lot of disappointment.
My advice is to reclaim your power, and reveal your heart to Guru Sahib. He has already provided all the answers, now do
Ardas to have the courage to walk in His way, according to His Hukam.
To be clear, the issues about women's rights at Darbar Sahib will not be solved overnight (although I am optimistic that they
will be solved, but it may take a long, long time). If you place your happiness and contentment on the condition that women be allowed to perform
seva at Darbar Sahib, then you shall be unhappy for a very long time.
Since the primary focus in Sikhi is between the Creator and the soul, it would be more fruitful (and ultimately more rewarding), to strengthen your connection with Waheguru while at the same time working to address the issues of womens rights.
Also, take heart from the fact that Guru Sahib is on your side. When you look around, you see corruption and ignorance surrounding you. But
Mai Bhago, how blessed she was to serve as a bodyguard for Guru Sahib. So don't give up or get depressed because of some peoples ignorance.
How do you know what Guru Sahib's mission for you is? Perhaps it's staring you right in the face all this time and you never recognized it ....
Guru Sahib Kirpa Karan.
[AoG]
ਮਃ ੧ ॥
1st Guru.
ਭੰਡਿ ਜੰਮੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਨਿੰਮੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਮੰਗਣੁ ਵੀਆਹੁ ॥
Within a woman, the man is conceived and from a woman he is born. With a woman he is betrothed and married.
ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਭੰਡਹੁ ਚਲੈ ਰਾਹੁ ॥
With the woman man contracts friendship and with a woman the system of propagation keep on going.
ਭੰਡੁ ਮੁਆ ਭੰਡੁ ਭਾਲੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਹੋਵੈ ਬੰਧਾਨੁ ॥
When one's wife dies, another lady is sought for. It is through a woman that man restraints his passions.
ਸੋ ਕਿਉ ਮੰਦਾ ਆਖੀਐ ਜਿਤੁ ਜੰਮਹਿ ਰਾਜਾਨ ॥
Why call her bad, from whom are born the king.
ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੀ ਭੰਡੁ ਊਪਜੈ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਝੁ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥
From a woman, a woman is born, Without a woman, there, can be none.
ਨਾਨਕ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਹਰਾ ਏਕੋ ਸਚਾ ਸੋਇ ॥
Nanak, only the one True Lord, is without a woman.
ਜਿਤੁ ਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸਾਲਾਹੀਐ ਭਾਗਾ ਰਤੀ ਚਾਰਿ ॥
The mouth which ever praises the Lord, is fortunate, rosy and beautiful.
ਨਾਨਕ ਤੇ ਮੁਖ ਊਜਲੇ ਤਿਤੁ ਸਚੈ ਦਰਬਾਰਿ ॥੨॥
Nanak, those faces shall be bright in the court of that true Lord.
ਪਉੜੀ ॥
Pauri.
ਸਭੁ ਕੋ ਆਖੈ ਆਪਣਾ ਜਿਸੁ ਨਾਹੀ ਸੋ ਚੁਣਿ ਕਢੀਐ ॥
All call Thee their own, O Lord, He, whose Thou art not, is picked up and thrown away.
ਕੀਤਾ ਆਪੋ ਆਪਣਾ ਆਪੇ ਹੀ ਲੇਖਾ ਸੰਢੀਐ ॥
Every one has to reap the fruit of his own actions and adjust his accounts.
ਜਾ ਰਹਣਾ ਨਾਹੀ ਐਤੁ ਜਗਿ ਤਾ ਕਾਇਤੁ ਗਾਰਬਿ ਹੰਢੀਐ ॥
Since, one is not to remain in this world; then why should he practise pride?
ਮੰਦਾ ਕਿਸੈ ਨ ਆਖੀਐ ਪੜਿ ਅਖਰੁ ਏਹੋ ਬੁਝੀਐ ॥
Call not any one bad, understand this by reading these words.
ਮੂਰਖੈ ਨਾਲਿ ਨ ਲੁਝੀਐ ॥੧੯॥
Argue not with a fool.
.
