It Seems Like Almost Everybody Out There Hates Me For Something But I Don't Know What It Is

[Harry Haller]

I think the key word is "attachment" (moh, one of the five thieves in us that rob us of our spiritual real side)
Having and driving a mercede is fine , but being totally ok and realizing it was god's mercedes who lent u that for a while and took it away. This attitude is of spiritual person.

Like the lotus that lives in mud but still unblemished by it . The mud doesn't touch lotus even though lotus spends it life in mud.
Same way a spiritual person lives in world , but remains unaffected by ups and downs of it .

That sort of mental state must be a blessing in itself.

That sort of mental state is what enabled historical sikhs to sit calmly in a cauldron of boiling water, split into two with a saw, and many other tortures. The mind was at peace.

I never understood the fascinations of the babas with high end german cars, I suppose if they see it as gods high end german car, however, something confuses me, I have no ruck with wealth or being affluent, but there is a difference between being wealthy, and feeling the need to show off your wealth. I know some truly wealthy people who would not be seen dead in a mercedes, they see it as crass, they end up sending money to pingla ghars instead, only, no one knows, and here is the crux, if no one knows, how can anyone be impressed? There is only one reason why anyone would wear an expensive suit, or drive an expensive car, and that is to impress others, to some, this sort of orgasmic happiness cannot be described,

If your going to be unaffected by driving an £75,000 car, why bother spending £75,000 on it?

 

[Seeker2013]

I never understood the fascinations of the babas with high end german cars, I suppose if they see it as gods high end german car, however, something confuses me, I have no ruck with wealth or being affluent, but there is a difference between being wealthy, and feeling the need to show off your wealth. I know some truly wealthy people who would not be seen dead in a mercedes, they see it as crass, they end up sending money to pingla ghars instead, only, no one knows, and here is the crux, if no one knows, how can anyone be impressed? There is only one reason why anyone would wear an expensive suit, or drive an expensive car, and that is to impress others, to some, this sort of orgasmic happiness cannot be described,

If your going to be unaffected by driving an £75,000 car, why bother spending £75,000 on it?

I see you have a strong point there !
And the ones who sent anonymously to pingalwadas know that that even if no one sees their act of compassion, god still does !
and god's reward is much more than 10 seconds of wow from people's mouth .
Let no one know. Don't put your name in a marble slab . God knows and remember he never falters on his word.
His word is

"So keo bisre je ghaal na bhaane. So keo bisre je kia jaane" - lines from Sri Sukhmani sahib
meaning "Why forget the lord who never lets your efforts go waste? why forget the lord who acknowledges all that you do"

I am damn sure this babeys giggle at the foolishness of such millionaires

 

[Harry Haller]

And the ones who sent anonymously to pingalwadas know that that even if no one sees their act of compassion, god still does !
and god's reward is much more than 10 seconds of wow from people's mouth .
Let no one know. Don't put your name in a marble slab . God knows and remember he never falters on his word.

Let me tell you my take on it, God does not care, and God does not reward what to God is a minimum level of conduct, God expects it rather than rewards it.The true holy are utterly anonymous.

 

[Sikhilove]

I think the key word is "attachment" (moh, one of the five thieves in us that rob us of our spiritual real side)
Having and driving a mercede is fine , but being totally ok and realizing it was god's mercedes who lent u that for a while and took it away. This attitude is of spiritual person.

Like the lotus that lives in mud but still unblemished by it . The mud doesn't touch lotus even though lotus spends it life in mud.
Same way a spiritual person lives in world , but remains unaffected by ups and downs of it .

That sort of mental state must be a blessing in itself.

That sort of mental state is what enabled historical sikhs to sit calmly in a cauldron of boiling water, split into two with a saw, and many other tortures. The mind was at peace.

Perfectly said

 

[davinderdhanjal]

I have no solution to the problem but sympathise.

The issue is very subjective and I feel to make it objective - we need guidance of the Gurus.
If we feel disliked or feel guilty - it is not easy to get out of that state.
There are ways in other religions where one can 'confess' and be pardoned, or meditate, or visit a counselor or even a psychiartist.
However it does does not change the views of others about you.
I struggle with the fact that 'nothing is in your control - it is Lord's Will' which I believe is true - however there may be a way out of the situation other than grinding oneself into the ground.
Does this happen because of karma (something that we did in our previous life) or because we have blown the chance to recover ourselves in this life?
I have not seen any teachings on the subject in the SGGS or sakhis which may shed light.
The process of getting out of 'being disliked' or 'depression' or 'guilt' seems ailien to Sikhi?
To become all white and clean is not simple or quick process with peer pressures, society and the enviornment - time does help but we collect a lot of enemies on the way.
One cannot isolate oneself - that will only worsen the problem.
May be the enlightened can suggest what the Gurus would have suggested to their congregation of the time?

 

[Harkiran Kaur]

I realized long ago that nobody and I mean nobody out there is liked by everyone!!!!! And nobody is disliked by everyone either!

At work in the military I had this one girl who hated me and I never figured out why but it led to years of harassment. I figured out later that she had done worse on her qualification walk through a than I did (I passed everything first time and without any errors while she had failed one initially). So she saw me as a threat. We were the same trade and females were only just allowed to qualify for this service so prior to me, she was the only female in her trade before and then I came along... she was no longer the focus of attention. But I never figured this out until way later. We are both retired now and it hardly matters. Her hatred of me is a reflection of her and not me. Instead of developing a friendship as few of the only females on board she decided to take every opportunity to harass me to try to get me to leave. Her loss... But I don't dwell on it. She seemed the type that thrived off the attention of all the guys we worked with.

So I guess what I am saying is if someone doesn't like you then ignore them and surround yourself with people that do like you. Make an effort like someone said. Be the first to introduce yourself and say hello. Many times people think the quiet person hiding in the corner has something wrong and doesn't want to be bothered so just try to be friendly to everyone and things will be fine!

 

[sukhsingh]

Seeking comfort in anothers 'embrace' is perfectly normal. We all look for validation..

The question is why do we need anothers validation? Before accepting the truth into our hearts we have to accept that validation is just another form of feeding our egos..

Just to be clear I am a seeker of validation

 

[sukhsingh]

Nihang Singhs employ a 'ault' boli, where everything is turned on it's head.. Much like the aghori sadhus who cuss and swear live amongst sewe, they take to the extreme of what shedding ego is.. Turning all social norms on their heads.. I would in my humble opinion say don't worry about it.. You clearly have your path and regardless of what anyone says or how we may advise you I'm guessing you you will 'rage' forever... Isn't such a bad thing I reckon?

 

[davinderdhanjal]

I approach the issue from the Sikhi viewpoint to understand Bani - the way it helps its believers.
I happen to upset people easily sometimes by accident and others being ignorant of their situation.
So I went to the doctor and asked him to arrange a meeting for me with a Psychiatrist.
He showed me a picture on his wall with a human head and a dog's head at seaside.
Human had - brain full of cars, buildings, machines the lot - the dog had a clear horizon line separating the sea from the sky - and told me to be the dog!
He said - Psychiatrist cannot help and that if anything a counceller may be a better bet. Along with a book based on Bhuddist princilples that may help to resolve the problems.
(Also Christanity has ways of looking after the needy where they expect you to fall in with them but it helps people ignored by all else - similarly Islam also helps but one must become a Muslim)

If Buddism has teachings which may help (I do believe they help) then a more focussed source like Sikhi may have even more potent help or guidance. For example we learn very humane information with helping the weak and generally being good. One must feel good in oneself to get up on the pedestal.
Gurus have rightly suggested that Sangat is very important part of Gurus' teachings and I believe that (I consider SPN to be Sangat also) - however when one goes to Gurdwara and one sees new people - we say Sat Siri Akal - the response usually is complete blank as though the person thinks - 'do I know you?' - that cannot be the Sangat Gurus had in mind.

Sikhi is a teaching that makes one self reliant - that is pefect and so it should be however check out the approach - you are unsure - possibly considered weak - looking for help and Sangat response as above - the step up to self reliance could be too high and possibly blind of guidance.

I invite the knowledgeables to set the pointer towards the self reliance needed to be a Sikh and help others out of the deep well.
The correct guidance may bring different branches of Sikhi closer too.

 

[sukhsingh]

I approach the issue from the Sikhi viewpoint to understand Bani - the way it helps its believers.
I happen to upset people easily sometimes by accident and others being ignorant of their situation.
So I went to the doctor and asked him to arrange a meeting for me with a Psychiatrist.
He showed me a picture on his wall with a human head and a dog's head at seaside.
Human had - brain full of cars, buildings, machines the lot - the dog had a clear horizon line separating the sea from the sky - and told me to be the dog!
He said - Psychiatrist cannot help and that if anything a counceller may be a better bet. Along with a book based on Bhuddist princilples that may help to resolve the problems.
(Also Christanity has ways of looking after the needy where they expect you to fall in with them but it helps people ignored by all else - similarly Islam also helps but one must become a Muslim)

If Buddism has teachings which may help (I do believe they help) then a more focussed source like Sikhi may have even more potent help or guidance. For example we learn very humane information with helping the weak and generally being good. One must feel good in oneself to get up on the pedestal.
Gurus have rightly suggested that Sangat is very important part of Gurus' teachings and I believe that (I consider SPN to be Sangat also) - however when one goes to Gurdwara and one sees new people - we say Sat Siri Akal - the response usually is complete blank as though the person thinks - 'do I know you?' - that cannot be the Sangat Gurus had in mind.

Sikhi is a teaching that makes one self reliant - that is pefect and so it should be however check out the approach - you are unsure - possibly considered weak - looking for help and Sangat response as above - the step up to self reliance could be too high and possibly blind of guidance.

I invite the knowledgeables to set the pointer towards the self reliance needed to be a Sikh and help others out of the deep well.
The correct guidance may bring different branches of Sikhi closer too.

I fully agree I think that all spiritual text and philosophies have and do grapple with the same ideas.. A attempt to make sense of existence and understand the nature of our being.. In my opinion bani is the most beautiful and perfect expression of this.. Unlike abrahamic religions it is not prescriptive by explicitly laying down laws rather it approaches the search for truth in a totally unique way.. It rather implicitly uncovers contradictions in immoral behavior.. Moreover by stating that it is the word of Nanak rather than divine revelation in the abrahamic sense that bani it means that the reader and listener and community don't get bogged down in legalistic, dogmatism.. Rather a Sikh (and by that I mean anyone who engages with khoj) is forced to go beyond lazy top down preaching.. The listener is forced (if they truly want to) reject blind faith..

To amplify this it is written in poetic form and set to music.. All of which is experiential and elusive.
this is all about naam Japo.

But we are then given more help to understand reality :KIRAT KARO
So performing intellectual research is all very well but if we do not live a honest life earn a honest living all the naam japo is ultimately worthless and simply a intellectual pursuit or hobby since if we read and understand but don't live honestly it means that the words are just that.. Words.. A selfish intellectual exercise of some value but unrealized..
Vandh shako I think provides the most interesting counter point since it is here that we are challenged to really test ourselves and beliefs.. We can simply make donations a daswandh but is a daswandh simply a financial contribution or spending our time when we have especially these days so little of it

 

[Sikhilove]

I fully agree I think that all spiritual text and philosophies have and do grapple with the same ideas.. A attempt to make sense of existence and understand the nature of our being.. In my opinion bani is the most beautiful and perfect expression of this.. Unlike abrahamic religions it is not prescriptive by explicitly laying down laws rather it approaches the search for truth in a totally unique way.. It rather implicitly uncovers contradictions in immoral behavior.. Moreover by stating that it is the word of Nanak rather than divine revelation in the abrahamic sense that bani it means that the reader and listener and community don't get bogged down in legalistic, dogmatism.. Rather a Sikh (and by that I mean anyone who engages with khoj) is forced to go beyond lazy top down preaching.. The listener is forced (if they truly want to) reject blind faith..

To amplify this it is written in poetic form and set to music.. All of which is experiential and elusive.
this is all about naam Japo.

But we are then given more help to understand reality :KIRAT KARO
So performing intellectual research is all very well but if we do not live a honest life earn a honest living all the naam japo is ultimately worthless and simply a intellectual pursuit or hobby since if we read and understand but don't live honestly it means that the words are just that.. Words.. A selfish intellectual exercise of some value but unrealized..
Vandh shako I think provides the most interesting counter point since it is here that we are challenged to really test ourselves and beliefs.. We can simply make donations a daswandh but is a daswandh simply a financial contribution or spending our time when we have especially these days so little of it

Daswandh is a financial contribution, it leads to detachment from greed of money.

Selfless seva is also divine, it takes us out of selfishness and shifts the focus onto working for the good and betterment of others.

The Gurus performed the Highest Seva, teaching Truth to the masses.

The words of Guru Nanak were the words of God- God is Truth and where Truth is spoken, Hes there. He works through his Bhagats.

 

[sukhsingh]

Daswandh is a financial contribution, it leads to detachment from greed of money.

Selfless seva is also divine, it takes us out of selfishness and shifts the focus onto working for the good and betterment of others.

The Gurus performed the Highest Seva, teaching Truth to the masses.

The words of Guru Nanak were the words of God- God is Truth and where Truth is spoken, Hes there. He works through his Bhagats.

I'm uncomfortable saying they are the words of God.. I would rather say that they express truth.. Each and every bani finishes with 'Nanak says'

 

[Sikhilove]

I'm uncomfortable saying they are the words of God.. I would rather say that they express truth.. Each and every bani finishes with 'Nanak says'

Well God is Truth- Satnaam

The Saadsangat, the True Sangat is One. All practitioners of Truth, One in Truth recognition and application. They're all Free, Guru Nanak, Guru Gobind Ji etc.

 

[sukhsingh]

Well God is Truth- Satnaam

The Saadsangat, the True Sangat is One. All practitioners of Truth, One in Truth recognition and application. They're all Free, Guru Nanak, Guru Gobind Ji etc.

God

Well God is Truth- Satnaam

The Saadsangat, the True Sangat is One. All practitioners of Truth, One in Truth recognition and application. They're all Free, Guru Nanak, Guru Gobind Ji etc.

I do kind of agree with you but it is for me at least important to understand the distinction and difference.. God is truth.. However by attributing bani as divine revelation in the abrahamic sense is something that the Guru sahibs moved away from.. Because it leads to dogma.. Bani for me is the truth and hence a expression of onkaar. However if we say it is the word of God that means we construct a image of God as a actor who makes proclamations but bani does not do that.. It uncovers truths, tells us the characteristics of truth.. I think theologically I don't believe sikhi teaches us that 'God' is a 'actor'. We don't have a ten commandments.. But we are told first and foremost in mool mantar what is the essence of onkaar..

And I don't in my opinion believe that 'onkaar' has a explicit voice rather is a implicit truth

 

[Sikhilove]

God

I do kind of agree with you but it is for me at least important to understand the distinction and difference.. God is truth.. However by attributing bani as divine revelation in the abrahamic sense is something that the Guru sahibs moved away from.. Because it leads to dogma.. Bani for me is the truth and hence a expression of onkaar. However if we say it is the word of God that means we construct a image of God as a actor who makes proclamations but bani does not do that.. It uncovers truths, tells us the characteristics of truth.. I think theologically I don't believe sikhi teaches us that 'God' is a 'actor'. We don't have a ten commandments.. But we are told first and foremost in mool mantar what is the essence of onkaar..

And I don't in my opinion believe that 'onkaar' has a explicit voice rather is a implicit truth

I get what you're trying to say.

God was the first Truth knower. Truth is Truth, it was discovered but it was always there and always will be.

But if He stops practicing it, the Khel shuts down, for the Khel is a play I'm the Mind of God.

 

[sukhsingh]

I get what you're trying to say.

God was the first Truth knower. Truth is Truth, it was discovered but it was always there and always will be.

But if He stops practicing it, the Khel shuts down, for the Khel is a play I'm the Mind of God.

I'm not sure I'm with you but we each have our own interpretations