Sikh Youth And Dating

[Archived_member8]

Hi I just wanted to know what you guys thought about sikh youth and dating. Its almost inevitable in the west and europe. Just post your opinions, also give you view on amritdhari youth and dating. Approriate or not?

 

[sskohli]

Sat Sri Akal jee,
Weerjee, i think this is an important question, and I think in modern times like these, dating and related activities are common.
Our guruji, also propogate to lead a family life and still be unattached. Tough it sounds, but that is what self discipline all about.
I think we indulge in dating to find the person with we really click with, to find out who's the right one. As long as it is interacting and talking to a person, there shouldn't be any problems. I don't think sikhi allow or encourage multiple sexual relationships. That would be giving in to kam.
And I think dating just for fun is simply not encouraged.
I don't know but sikhism propogates, devoting yourself completely to God, and not giving into temptations.
At the end of the day, I think just do what you think is right. And trust me, YOU yourself know what's right.
Thas about it I guess.

wanderer
sandeep

 

[Hardkaur]

Wow sikh youth and dating??? hmmm well as a sikh teen still in high school I know that it happens, however me personally I don't think that theres anything wrong with it, except that in High school about 90% of sikh teens are doing it behind there parents backs, and well if a sikh boy is dating a girl, and the parents find out about they'll just tease him about it or not care much, however if a sikh girl is caught dating shes seen as a disgrace to the family and is shunned upon by all her relatives. I personally think that sikhs dating does not tie into religon as it does with culture. As for an Amritari dating I don't think that theres anything wrong with that since guruji said that everyone should live a married life, but I don't think I know of any Amritaris that had a love marriage, except for those that had a love marriage and became amritari afterwards.

PS I just wanted to ask if any of you know if any of the sikh gurus had love marriages, since this kind of topic is talked about much.

 

[Prabjyot Kaur]

Hi I just wanted to know what you guys thought about sikh youth and dating. Its almost inevitable in the west and europe. Just post your opinions, also give you view on amritdhari youth and dating. Approriate or not?

Karmpaul Ji, would you please explain first, what does 'dating' mean to you?
And it is also important, at what age and stage of life, a person dates.

Once someone is done with studies and is already in job i.e. a man is able to not only support himself but also able enough to support the family, I think it is time for him 'to date' in order to find a woman to marry. Same applies to girls in today's age.

Amritdhari sikhs beleive that like every thing else happens in His Hukam, the person that they are going to marry will come their way as Guru wishes. I do not think they need to date to find that someone special. I have talked to many couples and personally speaking, it happens
miraculously.

 

[devinesanative]

dating was first started in Holland .

"Once someone is done with studies and is already in job i.e. a man is able to not only support himself but also able enough to support the family, I think it is time for him 'to date' in order to find a woman to marry. Same applies to girls in today's age."



Studies are unending , There is no job security ... so its a a catch 22 race .

As per the above scenario , dating is going to live and flourish , as it has minimum barriers.


Long Live Dating !!!!!

 

[hps62]

Dear Brother/sister

SSAKAL

I think that SIKH means a constant desire to learn.

As we get globalised we are bound to come across so many new things,concepts .

Our Guru's gives us enough freedom to learn and keep adapting to new circumstance.

Dating is after all about finding a life partner for one self .

It is applicable to both boys and girls to amrithdaris and non amritdhari I guess.

So I guess one could go ahead with dating as it would help us in setting up a family life which our Gurus emphsised a lot.

luv

wgkwgf

hps62

 

[Hukum Kaur]

Where their is insicurity, their is a lack of trust in God. For where their is God thier is no insicurity. It is one of the many human challanges to be afraid of being alone, but when it comes to Love, on must let go and let God. All you can do is wait for the Master Plan to unravel your destiny and in the meantime one must stay receptive to the sighns. Sikhism is such a clear path that it would be difficult to make a life with someone who didnt know what a lungar line was, but in no way does that mean this person should be dissasociated with. If anything, they need the guidance of Sikhi. And since a teacher should never date his or her student, that translates into dating either only a sikh person, or dating one who is self motivated and learning the path to sikhi. Patience is the red carpet to God.

 

[Hukum Kaur]

Simply put, dating a lot of people (or one) takes too much energy. Looking foreward to things sets one up for dissapointment. It is a rare person who can date around and maintain neutrality. Satisfied with all that God dishes out, one not need be dissapointed by a man or woman's actions even if they hurt you or let you down. The energy involved in connecting with another human on that level is very intese and one needs to really know themselves and know God. So untill you know what it is you want and untill you can filter maya to listen to Gods word, then one is not ready to date. Ironicaly, I have learned this by dateing.

 

[BhagatSingh]

its the sexual aspect of dating (sex before marriage) which is not aloud

in my opinion dating is fine i mean hormones yo u cant ignore them

 

[Rajwinder]

Well Dating in now a days time has got some diff meaning ... I cant understand how many poeple use to go to dates 20 years back in punjab ?? Arent they happy or is it like there hormones are dead ?? In todays scenrio if u r thinking of going to date with a girl then in 90 % cases it is more of physical thing rather the mental aspect. What I feel is things around us are so distracting that people start thinking of things and even generating logics behind those things which are not that imp as we think. Take for ex Sex, God made woman and we people create "Pamila Anderson" .

What we are doing here is " Raising a topic and then see how Sikhism fits in to it " Instead of that we should see what sikhism is and how we can mould things in todays world in to it" I think our Gurus who were having such a broad and far sighted vision must have some thougts in mind before writting Guru Granth sahib.

So concluding " Dating is not bad but it is the intentions with which we go for a date"

 

[truthseeker]

Like stated above.. its the sexual aspect of dating that is not allowed. BUT when a teenager is dating someone, he/ she is most likely dating them for their physical appearance, how popular they may be and usually nothing more than that. So in my humble opinion dating is wrong. Its good for a girl and a guy to be friends but nothing more, specially at an age where hormones are going all over the place.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

 

[Sinister]

lol, Dating is great fun!
You cant ban the lovin,
its hard to meet someone (the right person) if ur not dating. But hey, if your happy with an arranged marriage that cool too. Personal choice i guess.

 

[noor_e_khalsa]

Dating is not Bad until and unless it is restricted to knowing a person rather than having some sexual fun because we have right to chose our partners but at the same time we should keep in mind that we have to follow our Guru Jis teachings.... Marriage is something very important as it is a ceremony in which we decide to devote our selves to a single person and promise to be faithful in all respects....
So dating for knowing someone is good as we are going to give everything which is ours to that person and vice-versa...... "everything" has a major part of what we call "chastity"...... for an Unmarried Girl or Boy "Chastity" is the most important and valuable asset which they share with their wedded partner after marriage and all this with God's Grace, they enter into an eternal married bliss.... thats why it is called "Anand Karaj"

 

[BhagatSingh]

hey i have friends who like girls the way they are not because of their appearance
as long as the girl is good looking overall (so doesnt have to be drop dead gorgeous type)

so there are teens who go for the mental aspect

 

[truthseeker]

Thats totally fine...
Like is said before, it is the physical aspect of dating that is wrong.
For me being a teen, i have had my share in liking people and what not, but i do not understand why people would date at the age of 15,16, or even like 17, 18
At that age you are not looking for a long term relationship ie marriage. So what is the point?
you can hang out with people, be friends with them, talk and what have you.
Personally, when i think of dating... it is the physical aspect that makes it different from a friendship between genders.
bhull chuk maaf

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

 

[aCe]

It seems okay to date to me...theres nothing wrong with it...its normal...i don't even thinks its against religion...as for sexual hormones and having pre-marital sex....i don't see it in our religion for it to be wrong, its a cultural aspect....as for having to marry, u don't have to...i can't imagine myself marrying one person and spendin my entire life with them....i'd be bored to death after a while....i'd know everything about them...so y not experiene other pple and get to know different cultures and religions and point of views etc....sum1 might say isnt that wut friendship is for...yes if its friends with benefits

 

[Jamdhoot]

will the panj chor not attack you when dating? i mean people will start to get attachment with their "partner" so 2 speak.

the only atttachment one should have is with naam

as for anger people start getting angry if their gf/bf begins 2 talk 2 someone else and spending time with them.

obviously lustful thoughts will arise also

as for arriange marriages whats wrong with them? parents only introduce you to some one to get to no them.

for a gursikh it should not matter who they get married to long as their other half has pyar for sikhi and rehat also. whether they might have other differences but that one bond with guru sahib will always prevail

 

[JtotheAtothe...]

Dating is overrated. Just make babies and propagate your religion.
All we need is god. Who cares for a "life partner". All we need is to continue our lineages.

 

[Harjas Kaur Khalsa]

Divorce rate in Western countries 50-60%
Divorce rate with arranged marriages based on similarity and social compatibility, 2%


Think about it.

 

[GuruPyaara]

will the panj chor not attack you when dating? i mean people will start to get attachment with their "partner" so 2 speak.

the only atttachment one should have is with naam

as for anger people start getting angry if their gf/bf begins 2 talk 2 someone else and spending time with them.

obviously lustful thoughts will arise also

as for arriange marriages whats wrong with them? parents only introduce you to some one to get to no them.

for a gursikh it should not matter who they get married to long as their other half has pyar for sikhi and rehat also. whether they might have other differences but that one bond with guru sahib will always prevail

Beautiful thoughts.


Love with God, All is His Creation, So how can arranged or not arranged can effect someone. Arranged can be a better in many ways so is Love. i like the ones- Love marriage that was Arranged, the best one. Mix of both. Most common thing these days. You are happy as well as parents are happy for the time being. later who knows.