Sikh Youth And Dating

[JtotheAtothe...]

Sometimes in arranged marriages a dominator and dominitable are put together. Both have no motivation to break up even though both are destroying each other with great ferocity.

Because there is great fuss....

 

[truthseeker]

Although an arranged marriage is..."arranged' i would assume that they couple are given time to get to know one another and so on before getting married. Its not like back in the day where you see the guy one day, and the next day your guys are married.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

 

[MKAUR1981]

WJKK WJKF

Divorce rate in Western countries 50-60%
Divorce rate with arranged marriages based on similarity and social compatibility, 2%

I cannot agree with these figures, because when it comes to an arranged marriage, it's not just the wife and husband the whole family is united. If any problems do arise the family tend to mediate between the couple.

However, I would like to ask others why people think sex before marriage is wrong IF both of you love each other. I know many of you will say "go and get married" but sometimes things do happen. It's not like a Bollywood film where you meet your BF/GF and have a dance around trees. Yet it is completely acceptable to sleep with you husband after an arranged marriage. Although, arrange marriages are not as they used to be and there is an opportunity to know that person, but do you really know them until you get married?

 

[The Girl Singh]

I agree dating is not a bad thing. and since you are expected to spend the rest of your life with someone you have to know what it is like to be in a relationship and that relationships aren't always as easy as people would like to think. Yeah people in high school who do date, date behind there parents backs, but beside just the dating fact is it wrong to date people of other cultures, religions, or races? While yes Sikhism is a religion for everyone how will religious parents react to someone of different cultures, religions, or races?

 

[joty4]

I dont think there is anything wrong with dating as long as the boy/girl involved are mature and are in a relationship because they truely love eachother and connect mentally... the relationship shud go deeper than jus looks. Also... i always thought that Sikhi, and the Guru Granth Sahib teach that there is only one God, and we are all His children. If there is only one God and we are all His children, and we are also told to love all his creation, then why is it wrong to love someone who is not fromyour own religion?? that person is still born from that One God?? religions are man made, and the guru granth sahib is a guide for us to follow to reach God and how to become one with God and live a life of honesty, trust, and love for all (not just ur own religion). If christianity or hinduism act as another person's guide and help them reach God and live a life of honesty and love as stated in the Guru Granth Sahib then what is wrong with that??? If there is onnly one God as mentioned in the Guru Granth Sahib then that mean we all are (Sikh, Hindus, Christians etc..) aiming for that one shared God, we all trying to reach a common goal. the only difference is that were taking different paths. this is how i see it.. ex. God is the house that we are aiming for and trying to get into, a house for all people; a house has many doors/ ways to get into it and they all have their own benefits (ex. some are wide/ tall, some are smooth, some are dark, or made of glass, some are new, some mite be a little broken, or hard to open), regardless, they serve the same purpose- a way into the house- and thats how different religions are. they all serve the same purpose, some are jsut longer/ shorter, or easier/harder, and everyone choosesss their own 'path/door into the house' based on their personality or likes/dislikes. this is how i see religions and this is why i think they shudn't matter when, even when it comes to marriage. I think parents (especially if they are amrit-shak and are familiar with the gurugranth sahib) who are against their children marrying outside their religion are only lying to themselves. clearly they don't understand/respet what the guru granth sahib teaches. they're hypocrits; they care more about what the societal norm is than what the guru desires.

 

[kds1980]

Dear Joty4

It was sikh Guru's who started sikhism and not any man.

 

[kaur 1699]

A follower of Guruji's path would not date, because lust, KAAM, is wrong, and dating would mean seeing somebody different to a brother/sister/mother/father/relative as Sikhi teaches, or even just respecting them as a friend which is possible in today's world. God is our true love, and all other love is false and simply something we may want or like to feel we have. Waheguru has blessed us with Gurbani, and many people who have been blessed with Amrit wil know that in an amrit sanchaar it is said that one of the cardinal sins is any intimate relationship outside of marriage. to put it clearly, intimacy involves kissing or ANY sexual behaviour which is wrong. This means before or after marriage, there should be nothing.

Dating is seeing someone with wrong intentions, you don't know who u are going to marry so this is not what Guruji's Grihasti jeevan is. That refers to marriage.

If you have no wrong intentions, then c tht person of the other sex as your brother/sister or even a friend. Respect yourself and respect others. God has given us a wonderful gift of purity, why taint it? And, somebody who is clean and not dated or had any relationship is much more desirable than somebody who has been with anyone.

Today's society is just an excuse to mess up, but it is possible not to by begging God for love and faith, and Gursikhi jeevan. Personally i know i was blessed to never date or do anything intimate even before the wonderful gift of amrit, because God is our saviour, God does everything to protect Their children. But why can't we do anything for God?

Nobody is perfect, but Ardaas and trying to do the righteous thing will take you a long way. Do not be fooled by society that dating or any relationships before marriage, not just sexual, are ok..this isn't the case.

Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji told Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj that it is a sin to even dream of another woman other than your wife..and sikhism teaches equality so girls it applies too! Since we dont know who we r going to marry, and only Waheguru can account for each breath, we shudnt hav thoughts of anybody.

Even engagement is not marriage and so try not to see the person with lustful thoughts or in any way other than brother/sister/respectful friend. Until you have united with God in Lawan, and taken Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj's blessings, you are not married. God is your One, and the spouse you are given here is your support for your journey, nothing lustful.

I know there may be many mistakes in this entry, yet Waheguru and Gurbani hold deep answers to this question which prove that Waheguru is all and grihasti is married life..

please lets all take time to try to understand this, and fight kaam/kaljug

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh...
Khalsa..Pure... think about it