re: Sikhs Should Be Afraid of Nothing
Bhenji, I'm sorry to hear about your abusive relationship. motherlylove It's really good you're free of it now.
I can only speculate as I don't have much experience with these issues, sorry!
Background anxiety... I can relate to that, I'm a very anxious person myself but that's just the way I'm made. I do find I get more anxious when I'm hormonal - maybe you can get your hormone levels checked out? It's good to make sure you've got a clean bill of health, as vitamin deficiencies can also contribute to a feeling of malaise, or so I've read.
I get so anxious at times I don't know what to do with myself! I've also had a couple of panic attacks.
Over the recent past few months, when I'm feeling anxious, I try to take a step back in my mind and say to myself "ok, so I'm feeling anxious, I accept that, but it doesn't have to define me. I am not what I'm feeling." And I find that helps. I have to keep reminding myself though, to take that step back and see a difference between "me" and "my feelings". See if you can try this?
I think I might have an idea of the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" sensation. A "too-good-to-be-true", nothing good can happen without something bad... I think this is a "control" problem. I imagine abusive relationships would take away your sense of control, the world is dictated by the other person. You might have been living on eggshells, wondering if a step to the left would incite your partner's wrath, so you over-analyse every single thought and every action because whatever you say or do brings with it the (very real in that relationship) threat of a negative reaction from your partner.
Perhaps you're still waiting for the negative reaction?
I think the best way to get around this kind of anxiety is to learn more about the Sikh concept of Hukam. You have no control. When you think you do, and it's proven to you that you don't, you suffer. You need to realise that whatever will happpen, will happen. Do your best and leave the rest to Hukam. Accept what the hukam brings you, and work with it.
http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.gurbani?Action=KeertanPage&K=70&L=10&id=2830 You might like this Shabad.
This one is also good, soothing anxiety and putting it into the context of releasing the reins to Waheguru:
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ਮਾਝ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
माझ महला ५ ॥
Mājẖ mėhlā 5.
Maajh, Fifth Mehl:
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ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰਾ ਪਿਤਾ ਤੂੰਹੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਮਾਤਾ ॥
तूं मेरा पिता तूंहै मेरा माता ॥
Ŧūʼn merā piṯā ṯūʼnhai merā māṯā.
You are my Father, and You are my Mother.
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ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰਾ ਬੰਧਪੁ ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰਾ ਭ੍ਰਾਤਾ ॥
तूं मेरा बंधपु तूं मेरा भ्राता ॥
Ŧūʼn merā banḏẖap ṯūʼn merā bẖarāṯā.
You are my Relative, and You are my Brother.
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ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰਾ ਰਾਖਾ ਸਭਨੀ ਥਾਈ ਤਾ ਭਉ ਕੇਹਾ ਕਾੜਾ ਜੀਉ ॥੧॥
तूं मेरा राखा सभनी थाई ता भउ केहा काड़ा जीउ ॥१॥
Ŧūʼn merā rākẖā sabẖnī thā▫ī ṯā bẖa▫o kehā kāṛā jī▫o. ||1||
You are my Protector everywhere; why should I feel any fear or anxiety? ||1||
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ਤੁਮਰੀ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਤੇ ਤੁਧੁ ਪਛਾਣਾ ॥
तुमरी क्रिपा ते तुधु पछाणा ॥
Ŧumrī kirpā ṯe ṯuḏẖ pacẖẖāṇā.
By Your Grace, I recognize You.
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ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰੀ ਓਟ ਤੂੰਹੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਮਾਣਾ ॥
तूं मेरी ओट तूंहै मेरा माणा ॥
Ŧūʼn merī ot ṯūʼnhai merā māṇā.
You are my Shelter, and You are my Honor.
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ਤੁਝ ਬਿਨੁ ਦੂਜਾ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਕੋਈ ਸਭੁ ਤੇਰਾ ਖੇਲੁ ਅਖਾੜਾ ਜੀਉ ॥੨॥
तुझ बिनु दूजा अवरु न कोई सभु तेरा खेलु अखाड़ा जीउ ॥२॥
Ŧujẖ bin ḏūjā avar na ko▫ī sabẖ ṯerā kẖel akẖāṛā jī▫o. ||2||
Without You, there is no other; the entire Universe is the Arena of Your Play. ||2||
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ਜੀਅ ਜੰਤ ਸਭਿ ਤੁਧੁ ਉਪਾਏ ॥
जीअ जंत सभि तुधु उपाए ॥
Jī▫a janṯ sabẖ ṯuḏẖ upā▫e.
You have created all beings and creatures.
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ਜਿਤੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਭਾਣਾ ਤਿਤੁ ਤਿਤੁ ਲਾਏ ॥
जितु जितु भाणा तितु तितु लाए ॥
Jiṯ jiṯ bẖāṇā ṯiṯ ṯiṯ lā▫e.
As it pleases You, You assign tasks to one and all.
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ਸਭ ਕਿਛੁ ਕੀਤਾ ਤੇਰਾ ਹੋਵੈ ਨਾਹੀ ਕਿਛੁ ਅਸਾੜਾ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
सभ किछु कीता तेरा होवै नाही किछु असाड़ा जीउ ॥३॥
Sabẖ kicẖẖ kīṯā ṯerā hovai nāhī kicẖẖ asāṛā jī▫o. ||3||
All things are Your Doing; we can do nothing ourselves. ||3||
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ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਇ ਮਹਾ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥
नामु धिआइ महा सुखु पाइआ ॥
Nām ḏẖi▫ā▫e mahā sukẖ pā▫i▫ā.
Meditating on the Naam, I have found great peace.
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ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇ ਮੇਰਾ ਮਨੁ ਸੀਤਲਾਇਆ ॥
हरि गुण गाइ मेरा मनु सीतलाइआ ॥
Har guṇ gā▫e merā man sīṯlā▫i▫ā.
Singing the Glorious Praises of the Lord, my mind is cooled and soothed.
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ਗੁਰਿ ਪੂਰੈ ਵਜੀ ਵਾਧਾਈ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਿਤਾ ਬਿਖਾੜਾ ਜੀਉ ॥੪॥੨੪॥੩੧॥
गुरि पूरै वजी वाधाई नानक जिता बिखाड़ा जीउ ॥४॥२४॥३१॥
Gur pūrai vajī vāḏẖā▫ī Nānak jiṯā bikẖāṛā jī▫o. ||4||24||31||
Through the Perfect Guru, congratulations are pouring in-Nanak is victorious on the arduous battlefield of life! ||4||24||31|| </td></tr></tbody></table>
When we talk about Sikhs not being fearless, I think a lot of that comes from when Sikhs were in battle with Guruji, against real enemies. You have to be fearless when you're 40 men against hundreds.
I can't speak about it because I'm ignorant, I'm not a soldier.
But I can imagine, if you get yourself to a state of mind where you realise everything is the creative soup and whether you live or die you're still in the soup, it may take away some degree of fear.
I'll try to remember that when I'm paralised outside by a lightning storm... hahaha! So much easier said than done, those Sikhs fighting with Guruji must have been so inspired!
