It has been close to two years now since this thread was started. I wonder very much what has happened to Sikhboy ji.
Reading this, I hear a young man of intelligence and perception crying out in desperation. I do not hear self-pity. I think of Jean Valjean.
I have no explanation as to why you were born into such a horrible life, my dear young brother. Time was, I thought I understood, but now I know I don't.
You remind me of why I became a social activist decades ago. The injustice in the world hurts me and I don't like hurting. There is no noble purpose in my activism, BTW, simply the need to relieve this pain. I keep thinking about retiring, leaving the work to those younger and stronger. I have given 50 years of my life to this and I have given enough. I deserve a rest.
Then I read something like you wrote and realise that as long as I still have something to give, I need to keep giving. I live halfway round the world from you and there is literally nothing I can do to help you personally. Instead you have helped me. You have given me the strength to keep going for another day, another week, another month, however long it takes until Guru calls me and I drop dead in my boots.
Dear brother, if you read this, please respond and let us know how you are doing.