Why Don't Sikh Girls Want To Marry Sikh Guys? Solution!

[kds1980]

If SGPC keep excluding many types of SIKHS, in favour of PURE SIKHS, then this religion is going to finish very soon.
As per my understanding Guru Nanak Dev ji professed acceptance of all good people irrespective of his/ her devotion/ appearance/ contribution as long as he is with truth and is genuine.
Which way you lead your life , does not really matter as long as you are helpful/ non-destructive/ non-intrusive or against socity norm ( like thieves).
Once again I would say, be inclusive. A less of a sikh would not mind if you keep thinking that you are better sikh than him as lng as you ALLOW him/her to remain as a sikh.
Problem is that nowadays everyone including religious leaders say " My way or highway".
That way only leads to neative groth of population numbers.
Atleast in this respect, we should follow muslims!. Increase your population.

It is not only SGPC it is all the sects and gurdwara committee's that want to accept only pure sikhs.When court case was fought SGPC this time made case quite weak and what happened sant samaj,DSGMC all started criticising SGPC for destroying the importance of kesh.

As far models of muslims is concerned forget about it.Muslims have large families sikhs have small families.Muslims have full faith in their traditional values sikhs on other hand are following western feminist liberal secular values.Muslim don't tolerate marriage of their women with non muslims here 100 of supporters of interfaith marriage of sikh women emerge.

 

[Lenocht]

Re: Why Don't Sikh Girls Want To Marry Sikh Guys? Solution.

SAT SRI AKAL

NOW, when it comes to the sikh girls geting married to non-sikhs. u cannot consider sikh girls as a whole every person has his/her own views abt life and marriage .there isnt any problem with me bcz such girls who dont even want to
marry sikhs how can they bring up their childrens as sikhs even if they marry sikhs so better they marry non-sikhs . another things is that there r non-sikh girls who marry sikh boys not a big deal at all.sikhs r smart good looking and most of them earn good and thats all u need .

richa kaur ji,ur requested not to consider jatts and khatris as different we r sikhs first and in sikhism there isnt any place for casteism.

guru ka sikh
simranjeet singh

I would like to point out, that often sikh/punjabi/GIRLS are not allowed to make any choices. They are not allowed to form anything vaguely like an opinon, and instead are treated like farm animals that are property and have no voice.
For those who can, if they are worth anything, your external appearance will not matter much, most important it is your light that you shine, if you let it. Like attracts like, there are women that will compliment a man that compliments her for life, no matter their looks.

 

[Randip Singh]

Re: Why Don't Sikh Girls Want To Marry Sikh Guys? Solution.

I would like to point out, that often sikh/punjabi/GIRLS are not allowed to make any choices. They are not allowed to form anything vaguely like an opinon, and instead are treated like farm animals that are property and have no voice.

I suppose figures like Mai Bhago was a farm animal?

Or maybe Jagir Kaur who was President of the SGPC.

Why is it Christianity only now we have priests yet women used to run congregations and services some 300 years ago in Sikhism? (and syill do).

From my experience in the Punjabi community, it is the women that cause the problems for themselves.

-They are the ones that commiserate when a girl is born
-They are the ones that back bite
-they are the ones that follow deras, babas and superstition
-they are the ones most conservative

For those who can, if they are worth anything, your external appearance will not matter much, most important it is your light that you shine, if you let it. Like attracts like, there are women that will compliment a man that compliments her for life, no matter their looks.

Agree on this.

 

[dalbirk]

Randip Ji ,
It is just that any Anti-Gurmat thing attracts them like anything . The Brahminical ways are so entrenched into their psyche that any talk of Gurmat will seem PAAP or atheism to them .

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

I think this hinges on the definition of Sikh. Being from a Sikh family does not make a person a Sikh. So what does make a person a Sikh?

The current definition, as per the Sikh Rehat Maryada is:

[SIZE=-1]Any human being who faithfully believes in
i. One Immortal Being,
ii. Ten Gurus, from Guru Nanak Sahib to Guru Gobind Singh Sahib,
iii. The Guru Granth Sahib,
iv. The utterances and teachings of the ten Gurus and[/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1] v. the baptism bequeathed by the tenth Guru, and who does not owe allegiance to any other religion, is a Sikh[/SIZE]​

I imagine that, according to this definition, almost all Sikh girls want to marry Sikh boys, or alternatively, almost all Sikh gals want to marry Sikh guys. (Girls and boys go together; gals and guys go together.)kudihugmundahug

My point is that many - probably most - people we call Sikh are not Sikh at all. If we want more Sikh females marrying Sikh males, I submit that we need to work on getting more of each. This is primarily up to the parents to teach their children well, but each of us can help. If others from a Sikh background see me, do they want what I have? Am I in chardi kala, radiating the joie de vivre that Sikhs used to be known for? Am I the type of person s/he would like to be? cheerleader

 

[spnadmin]

Randip Ji ,
It is just that any Anti-Gurmat thing attracts them like anything . The Brahminical ways are so entrenched into their psyche that any talk of Gurmat will seem PAAP or atheism to them .

Yes and can even get you arrested. Time IMHO for a concerted push to educate with focus on the simplicity of what is being asked and the riches that are being given.

 

[spnadmin]

kanwaljs ji

You have posted this same article elsewhere in the forum, specifically at this location

http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-youth/34110-the-importance-of-kesh-for-sikh.html

And you posted it twice in this thread. I have removed the duplicate post. Multiple posts of the same material is considered spamming. Also, if this article appears elsewhere on the internet, then you must give us a link to the original article. Or the result is plagiarism.

Please do not post it for the 4th time or all will be deleted. This is considered spamming.

Thank you, spnadmin

 

[findingmyway]

I see a lot of stereotyping here and a lot of blanket assumptions. The problem works both ways. I wanted to have a keshdhari Sikh partner but they are rare to find. Especially when you encounter attitudes of, "I want a girl who dresses up and wears skirts and dresses" which means having to remove the kesh from my legs etc. Coming from a guy with turban and uncut beard I find this attitude very hypocritical and would rather not get involved than compromise my beliefs. Males should stop complaining unless they are willing to return the consideration :angryyoungkaur:

 

[spnadmin]

I see a lot of stereotyping here and a lot of blanket assumptions. The problem works both ways. I wanted to have a keshdhari Sikh partner but they are rare to find. Especially when you encounter attitudes of, "I want a girl who dresses up and wears skirts and dresses" which means having to remove the kesh from my legs etc. Coming from a guy with turban and uncut beard I find this attitude very hypocritical and would rather not get involved than compromise my beliefs. Males should stop complaining unless they are willing to return the consideration :angryyoungkaur:

Good for you! I am counting now 6 kaurs who are members here who are now speaking up on these threads that paint women as girls, and "girls" as somehow too limited to trust. Thanks.

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

Good for you! I am counting now 6 kaurs who are members here who are now speaking up on these threads that paint women as girls, and "girls" as somehow too limited to trust. Thanks.

Not to defend the custom, which I think is idiotic, never-married Sikhs are often, even usually referred to as "boys" :motherlylove: and "girls" motherlylove whatever their age. I guess that sort of emphasises that, unlike Hindus, Sikhs believe that married life, not brahmacharya is the proper state for an adult.

I still think it's both stupid and insulting; I'm just explaining where it comes from.

 

[spnadmin]

Not to defend the custom, which I think is idiotic, never-married Sikhs are often, even usually referred to as "boys" :motherlylove: and "girls" motherlylove whatever their age. I guess that sort of emphasises that, unlike Hindus, Sikhs believe that married life, not brahmacharya is the proper state for an adult.

I still think it's both stupid and insulting; I'm just explaining where it comes from.

I understand that Mai ji - Italian Americans have done the same for centuries. Once one realizes the implications, one changes language. Then when language changes, culture is influenced to change with it ----gradually. Ergo, speak up!

 

[findingmyway]

I guess that sort of emphasises that, unlike Hindus, Sikhs believe that married life, not brahmacharya is the proper state for an adult.

But at what cost? Marriage involves compromise and sacrifice (which should be on both sides not just one) but to sacrifice who you are?

Is it more important to be married at the cost of your beliefs or true to your beliefs at the cost of being married? I guess this question applies to both singhs and kaurs?

I still think it's both stupid and insulting; I'm just explaining where it comes from.

Unmarried women (not men) are very much looked down upon and not considered to be capable in Indian society from my experience. When a woman is getting more respect as an individual from other people, I can understand the attraction to moving away from Indian society, be that marriage or otherwise.

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

This is just one more way we need to overcome the Punjabi patriarchy.

I do not hold with the idea that everyone needs to be married. Some are just not cut out to go through life with a life's companion and some never find someone they want to go through life with. Certainly some men (and a few women) who are abusive should never marry. I do hold, however, that the unmarried should remain chaste under Sikh teachings. Certainly a Khalsa must or s/he loses Amrit and is longer a Khalsa.

It is also hard on Sikh men to be unmarried I know one Singh in his 40s who has never married and he is looked upon with suspicion and disdain. This is, of course, Punjabi society and not Indian society in general. I think a warning is in order here: With the way we continue to kill our girls, there are going to be many more unmarried Singhs than there were in the past.

I repeat that I know several Amritdhari Sikh WOMEN :grinningkaur:cheerleader who are looking for:whatzpointkudi: good, strong Amritdhari men who are looking for :whatzpointsing:good, strong Amritdhari women. I think this problem is logistical.

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

and i know of one absolutley perfect amritdharee woman who found an absolutely perfect amrtidharee man..BUT they broke up..TWO "perfects" are like the SAME POLE ?? North Pole will NEVER attract a NORTH POLE...Law of Nature..japposatnamwaheguru:

 

[Tejwant Singh]

A marriage is like running a company with 2 equal partners as 2 equal CEO's. Both men and women have to understand it. Let me rephrase it, especially the men who have reigned this world in a partriachial manner from the time immemorial, should allow women to be their equal partners.

I was telling Harsimran, my wife for almost 22 years on the other day that if I were to marry her again, I would want her to walk by my side rather than behind me during lavans.

But in my real life, she has trained me to walk behind her. The latter is for discussion on some other day and as a new topic.

Tejwant Singh

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

A marriage is like running a company with 2 equal partners as 2 equal CEO's. Both men and women have to understand it. Let me rephrase it, especially the men who have reigned this world in a partriachial manner from the time immemorial, should allow women to be their equal partners.

I was telling Harsimran, my wife for almost 22 years on the other day that if I were to marry her again, I would want her to walk by my side rather than behind me during lavans.

But in my real life, she has trained me to walk behind her. The latter is for discussion on some other day and as a new topic.

Tejwant Singh

My Dad was something of a curmudgeon who never did accept the SRM ("Damned British stuff!" (only he didn't say "stuff")). At our anand karaj, we split the lavans. I led two and Mani led two. There were a few grumbles, but to be perfectly honest, I think people were more upset that I refused to wear make-up, though.

Welcome back, Tejwant ji.

 

[badshah]

I saw the thread on girl not liking Sikh boys is back alive

I would just like to say that although I myself am not looking right now since I am very busy, one thing that you should not do is dwell on this thought that girls dont like proper Sikh boys because for every example that you can show that a girl does not like a sikh boy there is an example whwere a sikh girl does like a sikh boy

Dont think that oh if a girl likes boys with cut hair that if you had cut heair too that she would like you..... dont be fooled there is more in the selction process than just having cut hair. Even cut hair guys get rejected

I will say one thing though, you need to create an edge for yourself..... and even pretty boy singhs only goes so far........ as looks are just the first bit of attraction but when that part is over then it comes down to money, you ethics atc atc

To tell you the truth, money is power and you need and this is a pretty good edge to have

Also, you need luck on your side, not every woman you like will like you back so therefore you have to meet up with women and then hopefully you can find a match

Dont let the internet get you down on certain topics because at the end of the day when you see things in "real life" then they are not that bad as people write

One persons problem may not be your problem, so dont look at other peoples failing and make them your own, losing before you even have started

Good luck

 

[badshah]

Why do some girls say that they want a Ramgaria boy or a Punjabi hindu only?

Why do some girls sya that they want a Ramgaria boy or a Punjabi hindu only?

What is the link with punjabi hindu's being more accesptable than people in your own fold, Jatt, Khats etc etc

 

[spnadmin]

badshah ji

You say that you are busy. Why then are you spamming this forum with threads on the marriage preferences of Sikh "girls?"

I have merged the thread "I saw the the thread on girl not liking Sikh boys is back live" with this thread. It always was "live." I also merged a thread on Sikh women, not "girls" (thank you), on the look-out for Ramgarhia and Hindu mates. There are already enough threads on this question. Please put future comments on the subject of Sikh marriage preferences on existing threads, or action will be taken. spnadmin

 

[badshah]

badshah ji



You say that you are busy. Why then are you spamming this forum with threads on the marriage preferences of Sikh "girls?"

I have merged the thread "I saw the the thread on girl not liking Sikh boys is back live" with this thread. It always was "live." I also merged a thread on Sikh women, not "girls" (thank you), on the look-out for Ramgarhia and Hindu mates. There are already enough threads on this question. Please put future comments on the subject of Sikh marriage preferences on existing threads, or action will be taken. spnadmin

I think you are a bit of your mark spnadmin ji!

Do you know the meaning of spamming?

Also, after I wrote the post I then had a quick look on shaadi.com and also looked at some stuff on youtube and then posted my comment on rhamgaria or hindu panjabi only question

If there are plenty of threads already on this then you could have pointed me to one of them

Also I think your comments are a bit too heavy handed, this is my opinion

It looks like you have tried to infer but just made a mistake yourself....