believed blindly in gurus as gods till the age of 10 as preached by parents,, then studied science and started relating religion to science and logic.. there were times when the faith was completely shaken... then more and more reciting of gurbani with meaning brought me more closer to basic sikh values... till now i am using intellect as my faith in religion rather than heart only.. but in tough times logic fails and i have to bow in front of god to save me... there all logic seem failed and only heart rules :grinningkudi: and there are still changes going on...
Inderjit Kaur ji,
Guru Fateh.
Your interesting journey is commendable. Science - which is nothing but an observational tool- made you shed your ugly plumage of a Gurbani parrot and made you give up believing in nonsensical things like miracles etc etc that are repeated by the Granthis, Katahavachaks, and Kirtani Jathas daily in the Gurdwaras because these people's whole objective is for not to let people think on their own but make them believe in what they are saying only for the sake of money. There is a lot of Me-ism involved here on their part, hence the true message of Gurbani is put aside.
We, as lazy beings also find it easier this way because most of us go to Gurdwaras to feel good where as Gurbani teaches us that only by doing good we can feel good. Thus, the transitory feel good feeling that we get from the above so called orators of Gurbani ends the moment we leave the premises.
Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, our only Guru is a tool box that gives us the tools to develop our reasoning, critical thinking, sense of observation, open mindedness among others.
Unlike most of the other religious scriptures,Gurbani also shows us that heart and mind are not like water and oil that can not be mixed but to the contrary. It teaches us how to mingle both to find Sehaj- Gurmat fulcrum- within.
So, your inner tug of war between your intellect and heart is quite understandable and is necessary. Your persistence in understanding the true message of Gurbani will help you find the sangam between the two.
After all Sikhi is a journey which itself is a destination. With every breath, every new self discovery, we reach one of many platforms of our destination and then the journey continues till the last breath.
Enjoy your journey.
Regards
Tejwant Singh