spnadminji
bhagatsinghji
Yes, I have to concede that you are both correct that we are indeed all slaves to something, even the air we breathe, I have to therefore bow myself before the truth and offer body and soul to it.
Something bothered me hugely yesterday, I don't know quite what I was riled by, I had written how hard it would be for me to offer my head to the Guru,whilst I loved my family and dogs so, yesterday I did not understand how anyone could, with any honesty, agree to death in the name of the Guru, I mean We can all aspire to it, but if right now, this second, the call came, how many would fall short.
In the absence of my wolf/man theory, where I spend time as man and wolf, each taking responsibility for his own actions, something stirred in me later that evening. At first I thought I was having a wolf experience, my senses felt heightened, I felt ready for action, to howl at the moon again, but I also felt something else, love.. My wife was asleep next to me, she sleeps a lot, she has a thyroid problem, Alfie was asleep on one side, and Dan was in the middle, asleep, everyone was asleep, and although I felt 'wolfish' they all looked so beautiful, things do not look beautiful when I am feeling like this normally, everything is base. It was not normal to feel so , alive and tensed, and also feel love, with relief, I realised wolf and man were still dead and gone, there needed to be some other explanation for this, subconsciously, I had been debating the 'giving the head to the Guru' question most of the day, not only would a good sikh do this, I mused, but he would be delighted to do it. I looked again at my sleeping family, something had managed to unite me in a way that I had not felt for some time, but it was not wolf and it was not man, without thinking, or speaking, deep down within me, I realised how important the faith in the Guru was. Of course he could have my head, without fear and with a smile on my lips, life goes on, people cope, looking at my family with tears in my eyes, I realised that the truth would ever shine on them whether I was on this earth or not, I felt a distinct lack of fear, and lightning of a load on my shoulders, something WAS inside me, but it was not wolf and it was not man., I closed my eyes and felt 500 years of warrior spirit welling up inside me, I felt the spirits of Baba Banda Singh, Baba Deep Singh, 40 Mukte, spirits of men who gave their heads for their Guru and the ultimate master, the truth. You cannot hide from who you are, and although it is now next day, I feel a peace and drive that was not their before, I am not as worried about money, or good food, or lust. I am also determined to enjoy every hour of every day that remains, but as closely to the parameters of the truth as laid out in the SGGS. Yes I will have bad days, but as long as I take 3 steps forward to every 1 step back, I think I will be ok
Thank you for reading