Why do you think a gay man marrying a woman means he thinks low of women ! he thinks low of women IF he's used her as a cover for his sexuality and sleeps around with men . Thats HELL ! Thats a low opinion of women .
well, firstly it makes a mockery of whatever vows you take, maybe if I illustrate it the other way, do you think a lesbian should marry a straight man? Do you think that is fair on the man? Are sexual needs only existing in men? has it never occured to you that a woman, be they from a big city or a small village, also have sexual needs, desires, the need to be held, to be made love to, to be made to feel special and unique? As a gay man, how possibly can you make any woman feel this way? and especially when the goal is to portray the perfect family life, regardless what exists in thought and mind.
I know gay men who are sikhs (amritdhari , YES !) who are as they say homosexual but still married to women , and their wives even know it ! But they also know their husbands are faithful and have a higher spiritual aim in life , not shallow sex obsessions
in that case they are not Sikhs, as a founding facet of Sikhism in my view is to be true to yourself. In the confines of marriage, sex is the cement that holds the relationship together, it is the difference between the love for a sister, and the love for a lover. My wife is going through the menopause, it is hard for me, but I am beginning to understand and I am growing in my attitude to sex, however, if the reason that intimacy was lacking was due to the fact that my wife was a closet lesbian, I do not think I would be able to deal with that, the fact that another can arouse her better than I. But that is the very position you are advocating for those women that marry gay men.
You have set the bar so high now that 95% of population won't fit in either !
I did not set the bar, the bar exists, it is up to us as individuals to share and nurture within our marriages, it is the difference between existing and living.
ohh , so now its a choice men make !
And what goes on in mind of someone who has sex , this is so voyeuristic man ! how can u even make such claims .. people have weird fetishes that turn them on and they fantasize about that too .. what the hell are you saying
I apologise, allow me to clarify and explain, homosexuality is a very very broad label, it covers so many different types of people, there are those that are celibate, there are those that 'give' only, those that 'recieve' only, there are those that enjoy the company of men, and then those that just want to have sex with them. How far down the list you go, is your choice, some are content to deal with the howling by thought only, some need the physical, in that sense, it is a choice.
Reading between the lines, I would imagine that you enjoy the company of women, you could even love a woman, raise kids, have the whole family thing, have sex, etc etc, but what turns you on, what excites you is a man, and you feel you would be content living this life, and turning over mental time to fantasy and self abuse in order to keep a status quo, that is also your choice, that is where you set your bar, and yes, I can see the similarity between such a man, and a man who say, liked huge breasts married to a woman with small breasts, or a man who liked S and M, married to someone that despised it, well, as someone who has a list of fetishes as long as your arm, allow me to warn you that it does not work. You can not have the potential of a full relationship with another human being unless you give yourself completely to that person, body and soul. Once you start making deals, holding bits back, hiding bits, lying, you are in effect living two different lives, which is then the start of personality fracture, which then ends up with not knowing who you are anymore.
so, grow up, be yourself, be honest and truthful to those you love, and by shy of entering into a relationship with someone you cannot give everything to.
That leaves plenty of scope, good luck
