OpenmindedSinghji
I think a summing up would be a good idea.
I do not detect an ounce of spirituality in you, although I could be wrong, I think that you are not prepared to follow the life that has been mapped out for you by your parents, I sense a streak of rebellion, a need to go and discover life, and all its pleasures and pains without the baggage of your turban, but what difference does a turban make? It watches you, it is there, like a beacon of squareness shining out to all and sundry that you are a complete square, a follower, a worshipper, someone that believes in a God, You can't drink whilst wearing it, nor chat up women with any seriousness, and as for snorting drugs, well, bit hard with a full moustache, in short, the turban for a young man like yourself is the most unglamorous thing to wear on your head you could think off. Yeah sure all the talk about history and sacrifice, it touches a nerve in you, but it doesn't really put you off the idea, your young, and hip and fashionable, you want to look good, smell good, so a few old men died, but that was them, you have no point to make, you just want to have some fun dammit!
Now I am not judging you, if thats how you feel, its understandable, I felt like that once, but let us take a more mature look at the problem here, because frankly none of this, do it for Guruji, or remember the shaheeds is that important to you, no, what is hugely important to you is the community, your parents, your aunties, your uncles, in one fell swoop you are about to plunge your dear family from community leaders to nobodies, ah the shame, the responsibility, why does everything seem to hinge on your turban, unfair isnt it, you can see it in your minds eye can't you, mum crying, dad shouting, being herded away from younger members of the family in case you corrupt them, you will be forever known as 'that lulu' and theres nothing you can do about it, and all over a bit of hair, and a turban, ludicrous isnt it.
Yes, it is ludicrous, but that is the life decision you must make, run with it, get married, have kids, respect your parents, get involved with charity work, turn into your dad, or, reject it, run wild, run free, feed every sensory need, no turban to scare people off anymore, you can be normal, you can shave, maybe grow a goatee, maybe an emo haircut (dont go to baghdad!), and let me tell you something, when its the middle of the night, and you cant sleep, because all you can hear are your mothers tears, and you look at the woman you barely know sleeping next to you, the stale smell of booze, pot, the traces of lines on the glass table, the money you owe, the people you mix with, you will be just as lost as you feel now, and just as miserable.
So what is the solution to the way you feel? understanding is the solution, you must understand yourself, you must understand what it is you want, and you must be honest with yourself as to how much you want it, and whether you are willing to bet other peoples happiness on it, to achieve an end result that could even make you unhappier.
If I am miles off the truth, I apologise, If I am close to the truth, do reply, and maybe between us all we can help you find that understanding, because without you could end up making a lot of people very unhappy, and still being as miserable yourself
Your Brother
Harry