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Leisure Laughter: The Best Medicine

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
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Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale....... Cheap....... ....no strings attached .


Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!


Seen on a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.


You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off .


Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."


Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.


Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.


The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.


A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough
Or Else They Will Never Be.


Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By
The Manager.


Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:
Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !
 

vsgrewal48895

Writer
SPNer
Mar 12, 2009
651
663
90
Michigan
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

The most valuable ingredient of a successful life is laughter. It could cure 95% of the daily crisis and challenges. It does a great deal more for us than we give it credit. It introduces new ideas, new people in a gentle way, but with exquisite penetrance. It exposes our human natures. It places our human flaws on the table where they can be addressed. It breaks the tension when things are getting too hot and livens the mood when emotions are too cold. Laughter is the physiological response to humor. Humor reflects intelligence and quickness.
"Laughter occurs when people are comfortable with one another, when they feel open and free. And the more laughter [there is], the more bonding [occurs] within the group," Humor arises when logic and familiarity are replaced by things that don't normally go together. "The act of producing humor, of making a joke, gives us a mental break and increases our objectivity in the face of overwhelming stress," As we mature, both our physical bodies and mental outlooks grow and change.
Laughter can be therapeutic;
Studies have indicated that the ability to see life from the lighter side may be medicinal. Humor can alleviate allergy symptoms, increase pain tolerance, bolster disease fighting immune system, reduce risk of stroke and heart attack and may even help in controlling blood sugar in diabetics.
Laughter also gives your diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg and back muscles a workout. That's why you often feel exhausted after a long bout of laughter -- you've just had an aerobic workout! Sabd Guru on laughter;

ਨਾਨਕ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਿ ਭੇਟਿਐ ਪੂਰੀ ਹੋਵੈ ਜੁਗਤਿ ॥ਹਸੰਦਿਆ ਖੇਲੰਦਿਆ ਪੈਨੰਦਿਆ ਖਾਵੰਦਿਆ ਵਿਚੇ ਹੋਵੈ ਮੁਕਤਿ ॥
Nānak saṯgur bẖeti▫ai pūrī hovai jugaṯ. Hasanḏi▫ā kẖelanḏi▫ā painanḏi▫ā kẖāvanḏi▫ā vicẖe hovai mukaṯ.

O Nanak, meeting the True Guru, one comes to know the Perfect Way. In a life of smiling, playfulness, enjoyment of wear and food, liberation is obtained,
-----Guru Arjan, Raag Gujri, AGGS, Page, 522-10

Virinder S.Grewal
Williamston, Mi 48895



I know some of us will get a kick out of this :)


Q: What did the lonely banana say?
A: I'm a"kela".

Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just "mutter"ed.

Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: "Aaloo?"

Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.

Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do phools fall in love?

Q: What did the fat car say?
A: I'm a mota car.

Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't unda-stand.

Q: Where do earrings go on holiday?
A: Bali

Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: Jhinga Bells.

Q: What did the half eaten naan say?
A: I wish I was puri. (whole)

Q: What did the lonely potato sing?
A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"

Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.

Q: What do you call a bald poet?
A: Ik-bal Bin Nahi.

Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it would move?
A: Pizza - "HUT"(move)
 

vsgrewal48895

Writer
SPNer
Mar 12, 2009
651
663
90
Michigan
Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine





LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

The most valuable ingredient of a successful life is laughter. It could cure 95% of the daily crisis and challenges. It does a great deal more for us than we give it credit. It introduces new ideas, new people in a gentle way, but with exquisite penetrance. It exposes our human natures. It places our human flaws on the table where they can be addressed. It breaks the tension when things are getting too hot and livens the mood when emotions are too cold. Laughter is the physiological response to humor. Humor reflects intelligence and quickness.

"Laughter occurs when people are comfortable with one another, when they feel open and free. And the more laughter [there is], the more bonding [occurs] within the group," Humor arises when logic and familiarity are replaced by things that don't normally go together. "The act of producing humor, of making a joke, gives us a mental break and increases our objectivity in the face of overwhelming stress," As we mature, both our physical bodies and mental outlooks grow and change.

Laughter can be therapeutic;

Studies have indicated that the ability to see life from the lighter side may be medicinal. Humor can alleviate allergy symptoms, increase pain tolerance, bolster disease fighting immune system, reduce risk of stroke and heart attack and may even help in controlling blood sugar in diabetics.

Laughter also gives your diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg and back muscles a workout. That's why you often feel exhausted after a long bout of laughter -- you've just had an aerobic workout! Sabd Guru on laughter;

ਨਾਨਕ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਿ ਭੇਟਿਐ ਪੂਰੀ ਹੋਵੈ ਜੁਗਤਿ ਹਸੰਦਿਆ ਖੇਲੰਦਿਆ ਪੈਨੰਦਿਆ ਖਾਵੰਦਿਆ ਵਿਚੇ ਹੋਵੈ ਮੁਕਤਿ
Nānak sagur beti▫ai pūrī hovai juga. Hasani▫ā kelani▫ā painani▫ā kāvani▫ā vice hovai muka.

O Nanak, meeting the True Guru, one comes to know the Perfect Way. In a life of smiling, playfulness, enjoyment of wear and food, liberation is obtained,
-----Guru Arjan, Raag Gujri, AGGS, Page, 522-10


Virinder S.Grewal
Williamston, Mi 48895
 

Gyani Jarnail Singh

Sawa lakh se EK larraoan
Mentor
Writer
SPNer
Jul 4, 2004
7,708
14,381
75
KUALA LUMPUR MALAYSIA
Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Me being a linguistic teacher and all..my jokes are always on language..here goes..

logo1.gif
Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?
In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?
 

Admin

SPNer
Jun 1, 2004
6,692
5,240
SPN
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Jignesh Doshi an Indian (Gujrati) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave. 2 000 people leave the room. Jiggi says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room.

Jiggi says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room.

Jiggi says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room.

Jiggi says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?'

So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Jignesh turns to the other candidate and says `kem chhho?'..

The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'! :happy:
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."

 

Admin

SPNer
Jun 1, 2004
6,692
5,240
SPN
TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans.. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit..
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans.. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY BANKING CASH TRANSACTION TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday..
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX! ( Thank god....now scrapped...)

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) Qus.: How to come, to attend your office?
Ans. : By Car

Tax : ROAD TAX & TOLL TAX !

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!
20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans : wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!


"PHIR BHI DIL HAI HINDUSTANI"
 

Admin

SPNer
Jun 1, 2004
6,692
5,240
SPN
India and Pakistan recently realized that, if they continued political tension, they would some day end up destroying each other. So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dog fight.

The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right to rule Kashmir . The losing side would have to lay down its arms..

The Pakistanis found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed the lone dog all of the milk.

They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine, until, after the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on his cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.

When the day of the big fight arrived, the Indians showed up with a strange animal: It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.

Everyone felt sorry for the Indians. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Pakistani camp. The bookies predicted that Pakistan would win in less than a minute.

The cages were opened. The dachshund waddled toward the centre of the ring. The Pakistani dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.

As he got to within an inch of the Indian dog, the dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Pakistani beast in one bite.There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.

The Pakistanis approached the Indians, shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers.

They developed a killing machine." "Really?" the Indians replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a dachshund".
 

Gyani Jarnail Singh

Sawa lakh se EK larraoan
Mentor
Writer
SPNer
Jul 4, 2004
7,708
14,381
75
KUALA LUMPUR MALAYSIA
aad ji..not too much surprise..the Indians are really that good.
Ddindt you hear about the police forces.

1. The FBI went into the jungle to search for a Rabbit....failed.

2. Scotland Yard went in next..failed.

3. Finally the Punjab police went in....they came out dragging an elephant...and the elephant was
shouting..OK OK ...I Confess...I am a Rabbit...:yes::yes:
 
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