Need Urgent Advice
- Thread starter waheguruhelpme
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waheguruhelpme
SPNer
- May 27, 2012
- 9
- 8
I have tried all means so that he can wait but he is becoming aggressive..
stand your ground...and if he threatens to cancel the wedding tell him that you will be ok with cancelling it.
My wife used to threaten to leave me if i didnt do this or that, so one day when she tried the same threat i gently took out her suitcase and started packing her clothes into it. She was shocked, and she also realised that i wasnt fearful of the future.
My wife used to threaten to leave me if i didnt do this or that, so one day when she tried the same threat i gently took out her suitcase and started packing her clothes into it. She was shocked, and she also realised that i wasnt fearful of the future.
- Jan 31, 2011
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Chazji,
This is a very frightened, very young, and very hurt and upset young girl who has just realised her Amritdhari fiance is a lust crazed bully who thinks nothing of using threats to get what he wants, might I suggest we skip his rehabilitation and concentrate on the young girl in question.
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This young girl has already taken the first very brave steps in tackling this problem by putting a stop to sending pictures. She is listening to her true feelings which come from Waheguru Ji,
As of yet her marriage with this person is still going ahead. Deep down she wants this relationship to work, so if she can show her future husband (by her very own actions) that what he is doing is wrong, then maybe, just maybe he AWAKENS and becomes a better person and maybe...just maybe they might have a good future together.
She will know when the time is right to tell her family until then the sangat is here to give her advice and even speak to this person if necessary.
Also Satnaam Harry Ji,
You do not put aside the advice and guidance in the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji when un-comfortable situations are encountered. It is there to guide you through every situation in life.
If everyone in this world thought like this "might I suggest we skip his rehabilitation" then the world would be even darker than it is now.
The guru's came into the world to rehabilitate ALL of us. thanks god they never gave up on us.
And if Satnaam Penji truely believes this, they will both come out of this stronger and better people.
Aap ki vichola ko batao
What is vichola ?
I think overall everybody is saying tell your parents. I think your attempts to have a third person mend the situation are not going anywhere!
And remember, it is not about suggesting a taboo thing! It is about NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER!
And remember, it is not about suggesting a taboo thing! It is about NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER!
- Jan 31, 2011
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Kamalaji
I do not think he will try any such thing, he is going to get himself in more trouble, and like all bullies, is probably a coward at heart, however, I do agree parents must be informed asap, as the match was made by them, not the young couple
I do not think he will try any such thing, he is going to get himself in more trouble, and like all bullies, is probably a coward at heart, however, I do agree parents must be informed asap, as the match was made by them, not the young couple
EXPOSURE KILLS blackmail like the SUN kills bacteria...TELL everyone - parents most of all and IN FULL. Then BACK OUT because as they say..one CANNOT swallow a FLY in the milk if its clearly visible floating...and this FLY is HUGE.....swallow it at your own RISK. It will give you one hell of a Cholera attack.
waheguruhelpme
SPNer
- May 27, 2012
- 9
- 8
He is ok now, he is not forcing me to show pics/videos. He asked me so I said him that plz wait till mrg, I m not comfortable till mrg so he agreed..........yipeeeeeeeeeeee.
- Jan 31, 2011
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Bhainji
A leopard does not change its spots, but I hope it all works out for you.
A leopard does not change its spots, but I hope it all works out for you.
- Jan 31, 2011
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I agree, but I wouldn't bet my life on it
Waheguruhelpme ji,
Please listen to a woman who is probably old enough to be your grandmother.
He is on his BEST behaviour now. It will not get better after marriage, it will get worse. If he is disrespectful of you now, it is a sure thing he will be more so after you have become his property, which is obviously how he sees you.
If you actually marry him, I hope you are able to physically defend yourself because he will almost certainly try to use physical force against you. Please take care.
Please don't believe that all men are dogs. There are some good ones out there. I was married to a very good man who would never dream of lifting a finger against his wife.
After he died, I married another man not nearly as good, but he never tried using physical force against me because he knew that doing so might prove fatal to him.
Please take care and only marry a man worthy of you.
Please listen to a woman who is probably old enough to be your grandmother.
He is on his BEST behaviour now. It will not get better after marriage, it will get worse. If he is disrespectful of you now, it is a sure thing he will be more so after you have become his property, which is obviously how he sees you.
If you actually marry him, I hope you are able to physically defend yourself because he will almost certainly try to use physical force against you. Please take care.
Please don't believe that all men are dogs. There are some good ones out there. I was married to a very good man who would never dream of lifting a finger against his wife.
After he died, I married another man not nearly as good, but he never tried using physical force against me because he knew that doing so might prove fatal to him.
Please take care and only marry a man worthy of you.
Inderjeet has an excellent point. I have heard from so many women say " he's this way or that way but he'll change after were married." It just isn't true. Yes, people can change but only if they want to. Right now he's backing down because you called his bluff but that doe'snt mean he's changed. Tell! your parents.
It takes a BRAVE one to ..."tell the parents"....most teens today HIDE Everything..esp from their parents...its the parents who will be the last to know...thats WHY these "boys" KNOW..they can do anything..and get away with it...they are SAFE !!....a girl actually RISKS so much just revealing such advances, molestations, etc etc...not everyone will beleive her side..many will say shes making it up...and the girl will be the one to suffer the consequences anyway..because SONS seldom make "mistakes" esp in his MOTHER's eyes...so she will go all out to DEFEND HIM....and accuse the girl of being a vamp..a {censored}..sex crazy...blah blah blah...ONLY THE VERY BRAVE and SELF CONFIDENT GIRL will take the extreme step...one in a hundred thousand perhaps...lol
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