What constitutes "normal"? Being heterosexual is hardly a criteria. And before you accuse me "and others like me" of being the cause of your problems, better to look inside and see what your own thought patterns are.
I am hypothesizing you live in a country where being gay is not a big deal.
Back here in india it is ! it does constitute 'normal' here and in a big way .
Being heterosexual is a criteria, albeit a silent, unmentioned one , but it is very much a criteria.
I am not a handicapped person, and yet sometimes I feel as if I am ! if one is blind, he's handicapped by nature, if one is amputee, one is handicapped by nature, however if one is gay, one is not at all handicapped by nature (I can see and work with both hands, yet I can't do things which most people do : marry, love openly, etc ) . In such a case, one is handicapped by society ,
when one's identity is negated and ridiculed to such an extent, oneself who has that identity himself refuses to accept that identity at a subconscious level. but yet he cannot change it.
can you even imagine how pathetic that would be ? 'self-loathing' is society induced .
then where do you turn to with your baggage of invisible pain ? the guru ofcourse who is like a third parent .
and when you do things that sikhs have been doing for last 400 yrs (ask advice from SGGS), u come on an intellectual forum and get told that its a manmat practice.
why do u think I am not taking responsibility of my life ? is it becoz I ask guru to take my pain because at times I feel like I can't bear it anymore.
You have a lot of self-growth to do. I don't mean this in a negative way, I'm just trying to show you where all these issues are stemming from. Your situation is not hopeless or helpless. But you must begin with yourself. If you keep blaming the world around you, you'll never make any real progress.
One thing leads to another. Gays are all over the place, but what we don't have is a "FRAMEWORK" . A framework in which other things (love, marriage, hope of a decent future) happens !
when u don't have a framework of legal/social acceptance, it makes you hard to trust others like you, because due to lack of framework, we have 'self-loathing' and if I hate myself, how can I love someone like me?
no wonder then that gay relationships tend to be brittle . If a gay son got as much privilege as a "straight" son, if gay sons parents too seeked a boy for him, etc , things would be really different. Things will most likely become better in future, but when I am 60 !
so where do I go ? immigrate to canada, or other odd 18 countries where gay is "accepted". but hatred is there too. You can't leave planet earth but the whole planet earth is like a big prison, it seems.
also , immigrating is another issue. on what basis do u go ?
