Hello everyone, I have received some very good answers to these questions on another forum and they recommended that I come here for a better discussion.
As the title of the thread suggests, I am currently exploring Sikhi as well as other religious beliefs (including Buddhism and Radha Soami, though I have issues with following a human master). I come from a Christian background, but I would not describe my beliefs as being particularly Christian, as I believe in an all-pervading God who is impersonal, and I believe in systems such as reincarnation and karma. So, I have many questions about Sikhi as I am on my search, and I was hoping that you all might be able to answer some questions for me. None of these questions are meant to challenge your beliefs at all, but merely to express my own doubts and challenges that I face in my search.
I'm willing to have a deeper discussion on any of the points I mention below. For the sake of brevity, I will keep this reply short and to the point. Let me know if you would like to discuss anything further, are unsure, would like clarification or more info.
1. Buddhism and Sikhism I think are largely similar, but they have a major difference that I find hard to reconcile. Buddhism (at least Theravadan and Zen) teaches that the existence of God can't be answered for sure, and the same can be said for the soul. Instead the Buddha says that we should forget such questions, and instead focus on achieving Nirvana, as these questions impede our spiritual growth. Sikhi (as far as I am aware) states that our ultimate purpose is to merge with God, and reach Sach Khand. The problem is, I can see and understand the reasoning behind both of these positions, and I have a really hard time figuring out what to believe on this issue. How can I resolve this conflict?
I don't think you can resolve this conflict through discussion or pondering. I mean, the Sikh Gurus didn't even want you to "believe" in what they were saying. They wanted you to experience Waheguru for yourself. Experiencing Waheguru really has nothing to do with your beliefs on the afterlife. In the Guru Granth Sahib you have writers like Baba Farid who lean towards a Sufi understanding of the afterlife. Then you have others like Naam Dev who may lean towards a Bhakti understanding. But if you read their writing you'll find that this literally has nothing to do with them finding Sach Khand/Nirvana/Enlightenment, or whatever you wanna call it. Believing in a specific version of the afterlife isn't going to help you along the Path. That is not the message of Sikhi, and it isn't the emssage of Buddhism either.
2. Scriptures are obviously very important to Sikhs, as the SGGSJ forms the foundation for Sikhi. My question regarding this is, why is reading the Bani repeatedly so important? Is kirtan more beneficial than to practice simran and meditation on the atman inside? I can understand reading it for understanding, and of course reading scriptures at different times in our lives, we will receive different lessons. But is inward meditation not more valuable, provided it is done with a proper spiritual understanding?
It's all up to you. Sikhi is not about imposing rules and regulations and spoon-feeding you along the entire way, you are required to use your own intuition and understand for yourself what works for you and what doesn't. The wisdom and lessons in the Bani are something every Sikh should aspire to implement in their own lives. But I don't think parroting the Bani without actually understanding what's being said will help you out much. Blind recitation is responsible for a lot of the problems in the Panth today.
3. As I am young and come from the West (I am only 18), I have certain Western values which I find hard to reconcile with both Sikhism and Buddhism, even though I may find the religion very appealing. Specifically, I feel very strongly about gender equality, and that differences between men and women are almost entirely (if not entirely) cultural rather than biological or spiritual in nature. This means that I am a strong advocate of homosexual rights, gay marriage, and transgender rights. I realize that Sikhi has done a lot to stand up for many of these things, but at the same time, I see that homosexuals are not allowed to be married with the Anand Karaj. As a Westerner, this seems to be the same religious dogmatism that I tried to escape when I left Christianity, but maybe I am misunderstanding it.
You are confusing the Spiritual Message of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib with the Political nature of the Sikh Rehat Maryada. The SGGS ji says absolutely nothing about homosexuality and transgender. The ruling against homosexuals being married through Anand Karaj has nothing to do with the actual spiritual teachings of the Sikh Gurus. It is a political decision taken by the leaders in the Akal Takht. It is not an absolute decision and can be changed if needed. This literally has nothing to do with the SGGS.
4. Marriages. As far as I understand, Sikhs do not condone love marriages, and instead practice arranged marriages. What is the harm in a love marriage, or in dating? Again I realize I come from a Western perspective, but I fail to see how these things are harmful to your spirituality. If all of your energy is focused on finding a partner, or on sexual promiscuity, or the like, I can definitely understand it. Also, why can an inter-faith marriage not be done with the Anand Karaj? If a Sikh wants to marry a non-Sikh, isn't that their choice? And if they want to do the marriage the Sikh way, is that not displaying the proper respect to Sikhi? For a long time, I dated a Muslim girl and we planned to be married. Sadly that didn't happen, but I can't imagine missing out on someone who may be the love of my life, because I am limited to only marrying someone of my religion.
Again, nothing in SGGS ji says anything about how a Sikh couple should meet and decide to get married, whether they should do a "love marriage" or an arranged marriage. You are confusing Sikhi with Punjabi culture. Punjabi culture is what promotes arranged marriage (although this is now also changing very quickly), Sikhi literally says nothing about it.
The issue is that historically, Rehat rulings (including who you could and couldn't marry) only ever applied to the Khalsa, the Baptized Order of Sikhs. Sikhs who were not initiated into the Khalsa were not bound by these Rehats and could theoretically marry whoever they wished. The current Rehat we have has, for a number of socio-political reasons back in the late 19th/early 20th centuries, redefined 'Sikh' to mean 'Khalsa'. Which is why there is some muddiness and non-Baptized Sikhs being bound to these same regulations as well. Once again, this literally has nothing to do with the SGGS.
In fact, the Anand Karaj ceremony wasn't even around until about the end of the 20th century, which is when it was created to combat the high number of Sikhs engaging in Brahmanical marriage rites. I think ideally, Sikh marriages don't need to be much more than an Ardas performed by the couple before the Guru, in which they pledge to stand by each other in all times and strive to be the best Sikhs they can possibly be. And there's nothing stopping you from doing that.
At the same time, I can't understand why someone who wishes to walk the Path of the Guru would not want a partner with who they can share every step of that special journey. I am not an Amritdhari so technically the Rehat doesn't apply to me (if we go with the historic understanding of Rehats), I could marry a non-Sikh by having a court marriage, but I won't because I don't see any benefit to it. I mean it's fine if someone else does, I'm not saying it makes someone a bad person, but I want my partner to be Sikh so we can walk this Path together and support each other at every stage. Even without the Rehat, I doubt I'd marry a non-Sikh.
5. Again as far as I understand, Guru Nanak Ji shunned religious labels. He stated "There is no Hindu, there is no Muslim." So therefore, why have his teachings started a religion? This is something I haven't been able to find much discussion about, and I am quite curious about it. Has Sikhism fallen prey to the same dogmatism that he taught against?
Guru Nanak didn't 'shun' religious labels, he taught that they weren't important to Waheguru. What you choose to call yourself isn't as important as how you live, because anybody anywhere can have a connection with the Creator. Muslims can, Hindus can, Christians can, Jews can, Buddhists can, and Sikhs can.
Historically though, I think it's pretty obvious that when he began to spread his message in 1499, he did intend to create a separate path, distinct from all the others in the world. And this Path was crystallized 10 generations and 200 years later on Vaisakhi 1699, when Guru Gobind Singh initiated the Khalsa Panth. We can have a discussion on this if you like.
6. The SGGSJ was named as the last Guru for the Sikhs. Does this mean there will never be another Guru? What about when we move out of Kal Yug and into the next age, will there be another succession of Gurus?
No, there will never be another Guru. I think Sikhi teaches people to let go of these dark age, golden age etc. ideas, because the age is whatever we define it to be. If we live truthfully, then the age is golden. If we live horribly, then the age is dark. My grandmother has experienced many different "ages" throughout her long life.
People today complain about it being Kal Yug. Why? Because people are supposedly becoming more insolent and ignorant. But literally every generation has said that about the next. My mother complains about my behavior and how kids are so bad these days, but when I talked to my grandma, she said she used to have the same complaints about my mother lol. The world today is actually a much better place than it ever has been in the past. People live longer, people are healthier, there is more freedom to live your life how you want, most of us in places like the west especially don't have to worry about getting clean water or food for our families, and so forth. As far back as I have researched, people have been complaining about how we are living in "the dark ages". Instead of complaining about how the world is so horrible, Sikhi teaches us to discard these superstitious notions and work to make real change. We can make the world the golden age whenever we want.
