Nothing in my life is a secret, when I am angry, I am angry, when I have felt lustful, I have been lustful, when I have been full of EGO, I have shown EGO, you are incorrect, it does not keep fuelling, boredom sets in, after a lifetime spent in honesty, the end result is that anger vanishes, lust vanishes, EGO vanishes, you are then left with nothing, which is what I have now,
I would rather be nothing with a body full of scars, then live a lie, then live two lives, one within which is kept a secret, and one outward, which is merely a convenient persona.
Its not that hard, you just have to be prepared to die trying. But it is a hell of a lot of fun if you can deal with the fear of death, shame and isolation.