now let me tell you my story :
I was sitting in a consultancy office , for a BPO job interview . Or as they're commonly called here "Cheap call center jobs" . by cheap, I mean they're usually looked down upon as unprofessional .
I personally don't look down on anyone, although many look down on me, so who are these people that look down on others, are they people like you?
Anyways, while I had totally given up on getting a job in my own field and went for this bpo interview, I got call from my other consultancy that I had been shortlisted for job offer I had given interview for like a few days back (back then) . Now those 'few days' has turned into 1 and a half month and I still don't hear anything from them except the reiteration that I am shortlisted and that they're having something called "organization restructuring" because of which my offers put on hold but they said they will give it when I prodded , "sure?" I said. "Yes" , she said " we will give u by 15th of this month" . Today is 19th.
This is really quite simple, would you really wish to work for a company that deliberately misled people? so if you take the job, its a win, and if they mess you about, its still a win, because now you know what they are like, I cannot see what the problem is.
My only point is "Hai sachhe patshah, you took reham on a loser , niguna like me and called me when I was about to go into the world of 'cheap call center world'
I am actually quite offended for cheap call center workers everywhere, how ironic if it were a cheap call center worker that replied to one of your posts with your answers...You see to imagine that somehow, goddy cares more about your descent into cheap call center world, than say cancer, or the woman two doors up with no legs. I personally blame the media, got a problem? light a candle! a bit of rousing music, maybe the congregation all singing along, swaying and looking pure, I suppose if an alien landed in India, or watched Indian television, he would be forgiven for thinking that all life's ailments can be cured by a good old sing and a few candles. Oh, and the Gyani must look stern, yet kind, and be partial to a few glistening eye shots.
You lit a ray of hope in my otherwise miserable life , so please keep it and fulfil what you gave me hope about ! " .
or else you'll sacrifice a chicken?
But with each passing day, I feel like I wonder what will happen . That one ray seems to be dimming daily. Its feeling dark once again . Its scary.
Scary is when your hurtling towards a tree at 100mph, scary is having a knife pulled on you and having it drawn across your neck, scary is watching someone die and wondering how those they leave behind will cope, scary is when they lead you to the operating table, the prison, the court, this is not scary, this is life, get used to it.
Again I don't wanna put my orientation here
I fail to see what this has to do with anything, you like having sex with men, I like having sex with women dressed as witches, holding on to two giant bull terriers with one hand, and a large pot of peanut butter in the other, whilst a woman dressed as a mother superior looks on and the music from the Omen plays. I know loads of gay people, they just are who they are, they do not make a fuss, it seems the only person making a fuss about your orientation is you. what you need, or want, is acceptance, from society, from your family about who you are, oh well, validation is I guess, important to some, but why not just quietly live your life the way you wish and get on with it? You do not have to come out, anymore than I have to proclaim to all and sundry, or even my parents that I enjoy say, being urinated on by a woman in a clowns outfit (damn my mother reads this, sorry mum, but it was an indian clown!) (khatri as well), see now you have me at it.
So all I pray to god is "since you have pretty much ruined the probabilities of romantic/ conjugal bliss in my life, and have cursed me with a life of loneliness because of me not being a 'straight' person,
errr, if that is what you think of goddy, do you not feel a bit awkward asking him for things?
its sounds like the sort of rant a teenager screams at his parents...
but then again , u might not understand what I am saying.
no, I understand fully, because I used to be you, in fact, I was probably worse.
I am older than you, and you my friend, have been spoonfed and bailed out all your life, just as I was, your precious, just as I was, your in angst, and depression, just as I was.
If you are for real, and you are caught up in a web of frenzied masturbation, guilt, the constant feeling that who you are and what you feel 'angers the gods' then you need to try and discover what true Sikhism is about, in my view, you do not need to meditate for hours to give you the strength to calm down and deal with life, to forget all the bad things, and go to happy world, you need to be confident, to be proud of who you are, that is to say, not to judge yourself so negatively, you come across exactly as you are, which is not a huge compliment, so change yourself, be gay, be proud of being gay, do what you want, no one owns you, just be prepared to deal with the consequences, and grow up into a man.
By the way, most of the gay men I know are built like oxes, and consider themselves more manly than straight men. Straight men are nagged and sex starved!
I envy you in a way, you just need to stand up for yourself, stop thinking that you need goddy to catch you, go out there in the world and stake your claim
