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Can Sikh Girl Marry A Hindu Boy?

Can Sikh Girl Marry Hindu Boy

  • Its permitted

    Votes: 14 23.0%
  • Its not permitted

    Votes: 6 9.8%
  • Its Ok if they already love each other

    Votes: 15 24.6%
  • Its not permiited within sikh religion

    Votes: 26 42.6%

  • Total voters
    61

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
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INDIA
Hi Ambarsaria ji..
I have a question. You mean to say only a Sikh man can truly love a Sikh woman and no one else. The thing that matters a lot in a relationship is love, trust, respect for your partner's feelings, respect for their religion and respect for their religious belief etc.
There are many people who are truly commited to his/her partner and are ready to do everything for him/her. One of my neighbour, Anoop ji (Hindu) and Parminder ji (Sikh) had done an inter religious marriage (24 years ago) and are living a happy life.

Onurag ji

By putting just one case one cannot say that inter religious marriages are successful or not.Anyway are their children sikhs or Hindu's ,if sikhs do they wear turban?
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
Writer
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Dec 21, 2010
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Onurag ji thanks for your post. Some comments below,

Hi Ambarsaria ji..
I have a question.

"You mean to say only a Sikh man can truly love a Sikh woman and no one else."

onurag ji if you consider my total response it emphasized many more things needed in married life. I emphasized that Love is only one part of considering marriage.

Of course anyone can love anyone, but that does not mean the next step is a successful marriage

By the way love does not have to be "Carnal" which goes without saying as one loves parents, children, friends, family, animals, others.


The thing that matters a lot in a relationship is love, trust, respect for your partner's feelings, respect for their religion and respect for their religious belief etc.
There are many people who are truly commited to his/her partner and are ready to do everything for him/her. One of my neighbour, Anoop ji (Hindu) and Parminder ji (Sikh) had done an inter religious marriage (24 years ago) and are living a happy life.
Let us not go there with examples, I seen lot of mess and very few positives.​

Sat Sri Akal.
 

onurag

SPNer
Mar 23, 2011
22
17
Hi Ambarsaria ji..
I gave an example of my neighbour because i am seeing them since the time i was born. They are living a happy life. There are many more couples in India and around the world who are very happily living their family life inspite of their inter religion marriage.
Mess also happens in a relationship within the same religion. Sometimes Hindu marriage, Sikh marriage, Muslim marriage end up with a mess. If in a relationship, one does not respect their partner's feelings, their family, their religion, their religious belief etc then in that case the relationship will be a mess.
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
Writer
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Dec 21, 2010
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onurag ji you are a good man and write well.

Just as the world is not all black nor is it all white. I feel a tinge of bias in your thinking to announce a Hindu man marrying a Sikh woman as the best possibility for such a woman.

I assure you that 99%+ of the marriages do not fit this model nor fit the desired outcome for one to not recommend in general that Sikh women consider marrying Hindu men.

I realize you are making a personal and truthful effort to become a Sikh and this is beyond admiration and I commend you on your efforts. I wish there were more Hindus by birth that act like you.

Here is a litmus test for you (you don't have to answer):
What do you think of Genocide of Sikhs in Delhi, Haryana and perhaps countless other areas that one will never find out about?


  • Note your fellow spner, Mai Harinder Kaur ji went through this as she says,
For those who do not know, my husband, son, two brothers, 2 cousins and my 2 unborn daughters died in the 1984 pogrom.
http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/interfaith-dialogues/35044-my-black-heart.html#post144555

Take care.

Sat Sri Akal.
 
Oct 4, 2009
26
36
UK
Vahiguru Jee Ka Khalsa
Vahiguru Jee Kee Fateh!

I am thinking of all the people I know. I can only think of a single instance of a Sikh man marrying a Hindu woman, and in that instance the regard and respect for Sikhism is quite low from the woman.

Other examples I know are a Sikh woman marrying a Muslim man, a Sikh man marrying a Christian woman, and a few examples of a Sikh woman marrying a Christian man.

I know of one example of a Sikh woman marrying a Hindu man.

In all of the above cases, it is the Sikhi that suffers. The Sikh half of the marriage is Sikh only in name. Invariably the Sikh in these couples is least bothered about Sikhism; it is something they do not consider important. This is obviously my surmising of the circumstances - I have not been inside their minds and I do not know their innermost thoughts. But in as much as their outward actions reflect their inner motivations, it is quite plain to me that Sikhi is not at the top of their list. The children always end up non-Sikh.

The vast majority of Sikhs I know are married to other Sikhs.

On the question of this thread (Can a Sikh woman marry a Hindu man?), the answer is, according to the Sikh Rehat Maryada, a simple No. When Anand Karaj takes place, the couple partake in the 4 Lawan of marriage. They matha tekk to the Guru. What does that mean? It means that they accept the Guru Granth Sahib as their sole Guru, to the exclusion of all else. The singing of "Habhe saak kooRave DiThe to palle TainDe laagi" ("All other relations I see as false, now that the palla/scarf is put on me") takes place. This is not the couple saying it to each other, it is the couple saying it to the Guru. So how can Anand Karaj be performed when the Hindu man will carry on worshipping his Ganesh, Ram, Sita, Krishan, Hanuman, Shiva, Kali Ma, Durga, Lakshmi, various avatars, numerous gods, demi gods, semi gods and will continue to attend the temple dedicated to ants, and the one for rats, and ...

A Sikh believes in The One, not the many. A Sikh has one Guru and believes in that Guru to the exclusion of all else. So Anand Karaj can only have any meaning if both man and woman believe this.

- Kookar Guru da

Vahiguru Jee Ka Khalsa
Vahiguru Jee Kee Fateh!
 

Harwinder

SPNer
Apr 4, 2011
48
48
Ok here is my ( 2 cent on this)

Can a sikh girl mary a hindu boy?

Yes, you can for we are all equal under god. In sikh teachings we are created by one light by one creator. Now everyone has a diffrent opinion on the creater or a diffrent path from us but that does not give us right to judge. We may have a diffrent path but i truly believe the destination is one. (Gods court)

Yes i think it is ok for inter-religion marrieges for the conflict is not within the different religious beliefs a person has but within themselves is the struggle.

When god makes it rain he does not chose who it rains on; weather it be good or evil. It rains on all.

So the conflict here is not faith but it is you and how mcuh you believe in your love.

If you are truly in love than stay strong ("stick to the gun").

(thats my opinion and am not trying to offend anyone.)

Simple and strieght foreward. dont make it complicated.
 

Gyani Jarnail Singh

Sawa lakh se EK larraoan
Mentor
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Jul 4, 2004
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KUALA LUMPUR MALAYSIA
CAN...or SHOULD ?? the very foundation stone of this Thread revealed in the title is on shaky ground....OF Course anyone "CAN" do anything...the other day i saw a picture of a Hindu Woman being married to a DOG ( some kind of ritual to save/evade bad luck or something ).

Humans are Humans first and foremost...then they are Sikhs, Muslims Hindus whatever...so many points to consider in a marriage...when we scout around for a neighbourhood to buy a house/settle down in..we look into so many points...how much more vital to look before you leap..in a marriage ?? And Humans being humans..failure /success depends on so many factors..impossible to generalise...a Sikh married to a Sikh may be living in "hell"..and a Sikh married to an "agnostic" may be in virtual heaven...there is no magic cure all or free size fits all here...

I knew of one Muslim who was spirited away to Malaya in the 1947 massacres of Punjab..she married her Sikh rescuer..bore him 4 kids..brought up as devout sikhs, she was president of the isteri sat sang in her Gurdwara..leading in Kirtan/sukhmani sahib paaths each wednesday for 50 over years...BUT on her death bed she asked that her sealed purse be brought out and inside was a letter that she had never really given up her faith inside..she kept it so well hidden that even her children didnt know..she wanted to be buried and not cremated.

Just two days ago there was a story of a Bachan KHAN/bachan Singh of Punjab. He was saved from a marauding sikh mob by his neighbours who declared he was a sikh. His bride to be escaped to pakistan together with hsi sister who had gone to that village to make arrangements for his marriage. So to save his life Bachan KHAN assumed the name SINGH, even wore gatra kirpan etc...and got married when he learnt that his bride in Pakistan had been married to someone else. His concluding statement at the end fo the story goes like this...These Children..this wife you see...these are the family of Bachan SINGH....the Bachan KHAN never got married and never had any children..He still pines for his first love..now the mother of many pakistani citizens. I face a small dilemma on the practical side as well....half my land is in the name of Bachan khan (his fathers lands)...and half in the name of Bachan SINGH (the part i bought myself)...so how do i pass this on to the children of Bachan Singh..because the Ancestral part actually belongs rightfully to the children of bachan KHAN..and my late dad wouldnt be happy if i let it go just like that....one day Allah/Wahewguru will tell me the right thing to do...

CAN....SHOULD....MAY....?????winkingmundawinkingmundawinkingmundajapposatnamwaheguru:
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
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Dec 21, 2010
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Gyani Jarnail Singh ji thanks for your post.

There are a whole bunch of the following in SPN's "Shady.com" section with various guises,

  • Juliet Kaurs

  • Romeo Singhs
The common thing is they are looking for support in their beliefs to inter-marry. Unfortunately I don't think they realize that marriage is beyond love and love is only an icing on a cake. Lot of the cake is practical matters beyond bleary and puppy eyes.

The one advice that stands out is that,

The more issues you address before marriage, the less issues you are going to have after marriage.
Let us cite an example: Here in our ward there was a wedding between a Sikh man and a Hindu woman. Everything was peachy. The man and woman already had rented a separate condo to move into after marriage. The marriage lasted less than ten days.


Cause of Failure (Guess): They had a Hindu ceremony and a Sikh ceremony. So instead of becoming,


  • Two jyots and a single murti
  • or two murtis one Jyot
They stayed two jyots and two murtis. They ignored to address the possible issues. Inthis case the two families beyond man and woman were not accepting of each other.

Large sums of money were spent to create lot of ill and hurt feeling.

Was there love. Of course there was love.

What happened to love? It was evaporated like morning dew by the heat of the issues.
Young men and ladies ignore issues with knowledge of future perils only. Be as positive as you can and a good listener.



It is great that you come here. We welcome you and everyone honestly shares their views in case it helps. Some times the views may not be supportive of your plans but that is life winkingmunda.

For those already married let us remember how it was lol as example below,

Sungharsh - Jab Dil Se Dil Takarata Hai Mat - Mohd.Rafi


YouTube - Sungharsh - Jab Dil Se Dil Takarata Hai Mat - Mohd.Rafi


Take care.

Sat Sri Akal.
 

onurag

SPNer
Mar 23, 2011
22
17
hi Ambarsaria ji..
Regarding "I feel a tinge of bias in your thinking to announce a Hindu man marrying a Sikh woman as the best possibility for such a woman.", I am not saying that, this is the best possibility. I mean this for the people who truly love each other and are willing to live their life with each other inspite of their religion.
They have yet to see the tomorrow, ie, life after marriage. It totally depends on the two how well they are compatible with each other.


Sorry to repeat the same words but-
  • How well they respect their partner's feelings
  • How truthful they are to each other
  • How well they respect their family
  • How well they respect their religion
  • How well they respect their religious belief
The two can enjoy their life as a heaven or can mess up like a hell. This has less to do with religion and more to do with their understanding.
About our coming children, i would love to grow my children a true Sikh, far more a true human and am ready to do more.

Regarding "What do you think of Genocide of Sikhs in Delhi, Haryana and perhaps countless other areas that one will never find out about?", i feel ashamed for people who carry out such genocide. They really don't have mind of their own to think what they are doing, why they are doing, whether it is correct or not, what will be the outcome. They don't understand that the one they are destroying are their family members(if not by blood then in the eyes of God as God is the Creator and we all are God's children). They are puppets who just follow the crowd under the influence and carry out such misdeeds. For these people, i will say, "Think before you do."

Mai Harinder Kaur ji, i would be glad to call you my mother. Take me like your son, so if i have said something wrong then please forgive me.

About the qoute "When god makes it rain he does not chose who it rains on; weather it be good or evil. It rains on all." by Harwinder ji, true said. God showers his love on everyone irrespective of caste, religion, rich, poor etc.

Regarding "worshipping Ganesh, Ram, Sita, Krishan, Hanuman, Shiva, Kali Ma, Durga, Lakshmi, various avatars, numerous gods, demi gods, semi gods" by Kookar Guru da ji, they are different forms of God. God has infinite forms and names and through these different forms, people are worship God who is One.

Sat Sri Akal.<!-- google_ad_section_end -->
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
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Dec 21, 2010
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onurag you have totally missed the fundamental part of Sikhism by stating the following,

Regarding "worshipping Ganesh, Ram, Sita, Krishan, Hanuman, Shiva, Kali Ma, Durga, Lakshmi, various avatars, numerous gods, demi gods, semi gods" by Kookar Guru da ji, they are different forms of God. God has infinite forms and names and through these different forms, people are worship God who is One.

Sikhism does npt believe in any of this but believes God is not in any but in all and equally in you, me and no more in Ram, Shiva or Ganesh or a brahmin/Pandit. Whole teachings in large measures in Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji are a reflection of such in great part. Sikhism asks for understanding of the one creator and not worship as in your statement.

I am sorry but there is a huge difference between Hinduism and Sikhism. Your comments are based on your Hindu beliefs and normal behavior growing in a Hindu family as you have stated and it shows so clearly.
The following is not Gurbani but is wonderful to help understand as stated by Baba Bulleh Shah of Punjab a while back. A great Punjabi Sufi man.


Baba Bulleh Shah - Sher Miandad Khan - Raaz Dhiya Gallan

YouTube - Baba Bulleh Shah - Sher Miandad Khan - Raaz Dhiya Gallan

Sat Sri Akal.
 

onurag

SPNer
Mar 23, 2011
22
17
Hi Ambarsaria ji..
I am still studying Sikhism so i might be wrong here.
Regarding " there is a huge difference between Hinduism and Sikhism", there may be a difference between Sikhism and Hinduism but no difference is too large that it cannot be bridged and the bridge that can bring us close together as a family is God. In God's eyes we all are God's children.

Sat Sri Akal.
 

searcher

SPNer
Mar 28, 2011
9
1
Hi everyone..
I know, Sikhs who visit temple, who have faith in God like Shiv, Krishna, Ram etc are also true Sikhs. Our famous singer "Lakhbir Singh Lakkha" is Sikh and he is well known "Mata Bhajan" singer but still he is true Sikh.
Point is God is One. I believe, hindus worship God which is One, may be the forms are different.
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
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Dec 21, 2010
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searcher ji I believe you need to read Sikh Rehat Maryada and also re-check some of Gurbani and Guru's teachings where they demolished the Hindu Brahmin garbage exploitative control, manipulation and blind faith in what you describe.

There is much missing in giving examples of Sikh singers as a way to describe a good Sikh.

Sat Sri Akal.
 

findingmyway

Writer
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Aug 17, 2010
1,665
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World citizen!
Sikhism does not necessarily believe that Ram, Shiv, Hanuman etc were Gods but they are used in Gurbani to illustrate a point only. Gurbani gives us strict instructions that we must worship Ik Oankar only. This is definitely at loggerheads to Gurbani. Here's a shabad from ang 479 which demonstrates the point beautifully and shows why Hindu and Sikh beliefs are different and therefore, mixed marriages will also be difficult due to the major conflict in ideologies.

ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥ Ik Oankaar Sathigur Prasaadh ||
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:


ਪਾਤੀ ਤੋਰੈ ਮਾਲਿਨੀ ਪਾਤੀ ਪਾਤੀ ਜੀਉ ॥ Paathee Thorai Maalinee Paathee Paathee Jeeo ||
You tear off the leaves, O gardener, but in each and every leaf, there is life.


ਜਿਸੁ ਪਾਹਨ ਕਉ ਪਾਤੀ ਤੋਰੈ ਸੋ ਪਾਹਨ ਨਿਰਜੀਉ ॥੧॥ Jis Paahan Ko Paathee Thorai So Paahan Nirajeeo ||1||
That stone idol, for which you tear off those leaves - that stone idol is lifeless. ||1||


ਭੂਲੀ ਮਾਲਨੀ ਹੈ ਏਉ ॥ Bhoolee Maalanee Hai Eaeo ||
In this, you are mistaken, O gardener.


ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਜਾਗਤਾ ਹੈ ਦੇਉ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ Sathigur Jaagathaa Hai Dhaeo ||1|| Rehaao ||
The True Guru is the Living Lord. ||1||Pause||


ਬ੍ਰਹਮੁ ਪਾਤੀ ਬਿਸਨੁ ਡਾਰੀ ਫੂਲ ਸੰਕਰਦੇਉ ॥ Breham Paathee Bisan Ddaaree Fool Sankaradhaeo ||
Brahma is in the leaves, Vishnu is in the branches, and Shiva is in the flowers.


ਤੀਨਿ ਦੇਵ ਪ੍ਰਤਖਿ ਤੋਰਹਿ ਕਰਹਿ ਕਿਸ ਕੀ ਸੇਉ ॥੨॥ Theen Dhaev Prathakh Thorehi Karehi Kis Kee Saeo ||2||
When you break these three gods, whose service are you performing? ||2||


ਪਾਖਾਨ ਗਢਿ ਕੈ ਮੂਰਤਿ ਕੀਨ੍ਹ੍ਹੀ ਦੇ ਕੈ ਛਾਤੀ ਪਾਉ ॥ Paakhaan Gadt Kai Moorath Keenhee Dhae Kai Shhaathee Paao ||
The sculptor carves the stone and fashions it into an idol, placing his feet upon its chest.


ਜੇ ਏਹ ਮੂਰਤਿ ਸਾਚੀ ਹੈ ਤਉ ਗੜ੍ਹਣਹਾਰੇ ਖਾਉ ॥੩॥ Jae Eaeh Moorath Saachee Hai Tho Garrhanehaarae Khaao ||3||
If this stone god was true, it would devour the sculptor for this! ||3||


ਭਾਤੁ ਪਹਿਤਿ ਅਰੁ ਲਾਪਸੀ ਕਰਕਰਾ ਕਾਸਾਰੁ ॥ Bhaath Pehith Ar Laapasee Karakaraa Kaasaar ||
Rice and beans, candies, cakes and cookies


ਭੋਗਨਹਾਰੇ ਭੋਗਿਆ ਇਸੁ ਮੂਰਤਿ ਕੇ ਮੁਖ ਛਾਰੁ ॥੪॥ Bhoganehaarae Bhogiaa Eis Moorath Kae Mukh Shhaar ||4||
- the priest enjoys these, while he puts ashes into the mouth of the idol. ||4||


ਮਾਲਿਨਿ ਭੂਲੀ ਜਗੁ ਭੁਲਾਨਾ ਹਮ ਭੁਲਾਨੇ ਨਾਹਿ ॥ Maalin Bhoolee Jag Bhulaanaa Ham Bhulaanae Naahi ||
The gardener is mistaken, and the world is mistaken, but I am not mistaken.


ਕਹੁ ਕਬੀਰ ਹਮ ਰਾਮ ਰਾਖੇ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਕਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਰਾਇ ॥੫॥੧॥੧੪॥ Kahu Kabeer Ham Raam Raakhae Kirapaa Kar Har Raae ||5||1||14||
Says Kabeer, the Lord preserves me; the Lord, my King - the only Akaal Purakh has showered Blessings upon me. ||5||1||14||
 

searcher

SPNer
Mar 28, 2011
9
1
Hi All,
I know God resides in each and everyone of us. Can we consider someone who is a saviour of Life as a Guru ?
If yes, then Lord Krishna saved the people of Mathura from his uncle, Kansa. Can't we consider him as a God.
 

findingmyway

Writer
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Aug 17, 2010
1,665
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World citizen!
Wrong wrong wrong!!
ikonkaar There is only one God. As per mool mantar that God is not a person-has no form, is not prone to birth or death so Krishna nor anyone else can ever be considered God as per Sikhi. A Guru is a teacher. Sikhs believe in 11 Guru's only, with the final and eternal Guru being Guru Granth Sahib ji. Anyone else is a historical or mythical figure only. They may or may not have existed. Their stories as per Hindu are considered Myhtology-blown out of proportion. Stop trying to reconcile the 2 belief systems - you can't as they are worlds apart. Read asa di vaar to see how much the Guru's condemned some Hindu beliefs and practices. We can respect other people's rights to follow those beliefs but that does not mean they are compatible with our own so living with someone who follows that way of life will be extremely difficult, especially when it comes to raising children. For marriage, 'love' of 1 person in isolation and respect is not enough. It is not practical!
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
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Dec 21, 2010
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searcher ji I think you are claiming to be Sikh. If you are that is great and like all of us you have a lot to learn. If you are not, please change "Adherent" to what ever else you are.

If you are Sikh I believe you will need to understand findingmyway ji's post very carefully and other posts in this thread. In being guilty of repeating let me restate the following,

  • In Sikhism everyone is equal in creator's eyes
    • You have same God in you that Krishna did or that everyone around you and us all have
      • Hence Krishna (if existed) was no superior than you or me or anyone around you
      • Same creator and same God
  • The second part of your circular logic is someone saving someone and calling them a Guru because of it
    • Saving life happens in many professions and situations and it will become ridiculous to call all such people Guru
      • Policeman at a traffic circle
      • Doctors and nurses
      • Army
      • Fire brigade
      • ............. the list is incredibly long
      • If you want to call all these Guru, that is your choice
  • Fundamentally your statement is called false logic,
    • A -----> implies ------> B
    • B -----> implies ------> C
      • So we deduce,
        • A -----> C
Try to apply that to your post and let me know if it clarifies the error you have made or you want me to describe it further.

Sat Sri Akal.
 

Tejwant Singh

Mentor
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Jun 30, 2004
5,024
7,183
Henderson, NV.
Hi Ambarsaria ji..
I am still studying Sikhism so i might be wrong here.
Regarding " there is a huge difference between Hinduism and Sikhism", there may be a difference between Sikhism and Hinduism but no difference is too large that it cannot be bridged and the bridge that can bring us close together as a family is God. In God's eyes we all are God's children.

Sat Sri Akal.

Onurag ji,

Guru Fateh.

A bridge is needed to connect two places.

As Ik Ong Kaar is The One, hence no bridge needed.
 

lionsingh

SPNer
Nov 7, 2010
105
67
The question was can a Sikh girl marry a Hindu boy ? Suppose the question may be could a Hindu girl marry a Sikh boy ?

YES.... Its as simple as that. :mundaviolin:
 

findingmyway

Writer
SPNer
Aug 17, 2010
1,665
3,778
World citizen!
The question was can a Sikh girl marry a Hindu boy ? Suppose the question may be could a Hindu girl marry a Sikh boy ?

YES.... Its as simple as that. :mundaviolin:

Same answer applies. There will still be a clash of ideologies that are not compatible and it will still be confusing for the kids. It's as simple as that!!!
 
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