Can Sikh Girl Marry A Hindu Boy?

[manpreetsinghbca01]

I have this question in mind,I have seen many sikh girls marriying hindu boys,Is this permitted in sikh religion,I have searched on internet,But can't find

 

[Archived_Member16]

Sikh Reht Maryada
THE CODE OF SIKH CONDUCT AND CONVENTIONS

CHAPTER XI

Article XVIII

a. A Sikh man and woman should enter wedlock without giving thought to the prospective spouse's caste and descent.
b. A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.
c. A Sikh's marriage should be solemnized by Anand marriage rites.
d. Child marriage is taboo for Sikhs.
e. When a girl becomes marriageable, physically, emotionally and by virtue of maturity of character, a suitable Sikh match should be found and she be married to him by Anand marriage rites..................................................

source: http://sgpc.net/rehat_maryada/section_four_chap_eleven.html

 

[rajneesh madhok]

You are worried about the question which is common in Punjab even as in cities and town most of the families approve of such relations. Well i do not know the opinions of sikhs but I have come across hundreds of such relations in which the families approved the relation.
Secondly what is going to happen, depends on how broad minded both the families are. if they are stuck saying Sikh is gr8 or hindu is gr8, forget this relationship and move on. Mostly the boys and girls disobey their parents in villages and elope. I wont suggest the later as it is an act of cowards. if the boy/girl dare, then they should challenge both the families and say we r going to get married no matter what. but first find out if ur guy is willing to do the same. if you are the only one thinking this way then my frnd, nothing will happen. best is to call it the end and if possible be friends.I hope you are finding solution to your own problem.
Rajneesh Madhok

 

[Randip Singh]

I know a lot of Sikh men married to Hindu girls (usually always Hindu Punjabi), but not many Sikh girls married to Hindu's. The Hindu's Sikh girls have married tend to be Punjabi as well.animatedkhanda1

 

[findingmyway]

I don't see Hindu-Sikh relationships as any different to any other interfaith relationship. The couple will have to think extremely carefully about how things will work as there are many differences in the 2 philosophies. Some examples are, will Hindu murtis be allowed in the house as they are against Sikh practice, will alcohol be allowed in the house, what expectations will be there around kesh, how will children be brought up, at special times will they have a paath or puja, will they believe in one God or many Gods etc etc. Won't it be confusing for children if they are being taught to believe in Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu and then hearing a shabad such as this http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.gurbani?Action=KeertanPage&K=479&L=5

 

[spnadmin]

This is actually a pretty common practice among Nihangs. Hindu girl/Sikh guy.


Related note: Let's stop using the term "girls" for females over the age of 16. I wish we would refer to women of marriageable age as "women" or kaurs not "girls." Calling an unmarried woman a "girl" is very insulting and imho once again underscores some hypocrisy that we as Sikhs need to work on. Let's think of women in Sikhi as the brave, strong kaurs they are, instead of females who do not leave the larval stage until they marry.


Otherwise by calling them 'girls" we are speaking in a different voice. Let's also refer to Sikh males over 16 as "men" or Singhs. The "oh but this is India which is very backward and you know all that ".... doesn't wash with me because there are more cell phones and televisions in India than there are toilets per capita and these are known statistics. India is fast becoming part of the modern world, and Sikhism said to be a modern religion. So let's change our language and change how the world thinks. Thanks.

 

[Ishna]

Thank you spnadmin ji!!! I totally agree. Women and men!

As for marriage, ideally partners will be of the same faith. Frankly, it's just much more practical. I'm always wary though, because people grow and change as their lives progress and the person who may be a Sikh on your wedding day may be an atheist or a Christan or whatever in 10 years time anyway.

And my belief is the Rehat Maryada should state that a Sikh should only marry a Sikh, not that only a Sikh's daughter must marry a Sikh. Technically, if your a Sikh and your daughter (for whatever reason) is a Hindu or a Christian, then you still have to marry her to a Sikh because it hasn't said your SIKH DAUGHTER, it says "a Sikh's daughter".

Ishna

 

[rajneesh madhok]

I know a lot of Sikh men married to Hindu girls (usually always Hindu Punjabi), but not many Sikh girls married to Hindu's. The Hindu's Sikh girls have married tend to be Punjabi as well.animatedkhanda1

Dear Randip ji,

Your perception is wrong. You will find more than 75% sikh girls married to Hindu boys than Hindu girls to Sikh boys. Kindly make random checking around your house and conclude yourself. The reason I don't know but the fact is that:

The truth about conversions most Sikhs go on and on about Sikh girls converting to Islam well Sikh girls convert to Hinduism more than Islam,across the world we all know someone who is Sikh girl married to a Hindu or have a relative who has done this.

Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Converting by lies and Deception (Hindu Gangs target Sikh Girls)


It is well know and established fact that Sikh girls openly marry and convert to Hinduism on a mass scale in India and all over the world.

Last year alone their were 1500 Sikhs girls marring Hindus. At a rate of 4 conversions a day In India. From Scotland to England it is the same story every where.

Questions we must ask ourselves?

• Is it expectable in Sikh religion for Sikh girls to marry a Hindu? • Is this all a common Sikh practice or is it done by deception and fraud?

Is it expectable in Sikh religion for Sikh girls to marry Hindu?

Answer: No, it’s against the Sikh rehait maryada. As it states very clearly

Article XVIII

a. A Sikh man and woman should enter wedlock without giving thought to the prospective spouse's caste and descent.
b. A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.
c. A Sikh's marriage should be solemnized by Anand marriage rites.

http://www.sgpc.net/...hap_eleven.html

Is this all a common Sikh practice or is it done by deception and fraud?

Answer: yes it is done under false pretences deception and fraud.

Their main argument is that Sikhs are Hindus and its okay as Sikhism is a part of Hindu religion. Hindus openly wears karas and kanda chains to pretend to be half Sikhs and lure Sikh girls into this false scene of security. Then sikhi becomes history, when these Hindu gangs tell our girls the following things:


• There is no need to be Sikh any more as we have are own country. The Sikhs were created as an army of the Hindus to protect the Brahmins

• We don’t need to be protected by Sikh army anymore as we have the Indian army, we know that Indian army is better then Sikhs as we learn in 1984.

We are the Stupid ones that allow Non-Sikhs to marry our Girls In Gurdwaras. These Gangs must be think we can go to the Gurdwara and get free food, but these fools are letting us marry their girls to!

Below is a real life story of a Sikh Girl:


Amanpreet Kaur Marries a Hindu

http://www.realsikhi.../amanpreet.html

By Amanpreet Kaur
June 2003

I am Amanpreet Kaur, a 22 year old girl born in Ludhiana, Punjab. When I was 19, studying BCA, I fell in love with a Hindu boy named Sameer. We would talk for hours and it was clear that he loved me back. We would always talk about living a happy life together but never really discussed religion.

Religion is a big part of life in India. Indians are very religious people. My family was religious but they hardly told me anything about Sikhism. Everything I learned about Sikhism was from the school in which I studied ‘till twelfth grade. I knew about Guru Nanak Dev Ji and his teachings and that Sikhs are to worship one God only. I knew a little bit of the history, Sikhs fighting with Muslim emperor Aurengzeb to save Hindus. But little did I knew about differences between Sikhism and Hinduism. All I knew was Sikhs do not believe in caste system and do not worship Hindu Gods like Brahma, Krishan, Ganesh, Durga, Kali etc, as mukti (salvation) can only be attained through the meditation on One God, who is above all.

Sameer told me that I do not have to convert to Hinduism in order to marry him. He told me that I can still practice Sikhism if I wanted to. Marrying a Hindu didn’t seem a big of deal to me but my parents told me that I should marry someone with the similar belief system, a Sikh. There arose a huge fight in our family but blinded by love I insisted to marry Sameer only.

Anyway, we got married. Our marriage was conduct according to Hindu marriage ceremony. Everything was going well for the first couple of weeks until his parents started forcing me to do Durga Puja (worship). I resisted but they said it is the practice of their family and I have to do it. I told Sameer and found him surprisingly in agreement with his parents. He said I can perform Sikh practices but being in their family I have to do Durga Puja.

The conflict started arising not only because of Durga Puja but also due to daily Hindu rituals. For example always referring to Hindu Gods while talking, fasting for certain periods, considering fire as sacred, and much more.

They kept forcing me and taunting me and I started performing Durga Puja. I felt very awkward worshipping the stone statue of Durga. One day I decided to search the online version of Guru Granth Sahib about what my Guru says about performing other worships. I found out that Guru Ji condemns the worship of anyone else except God.

As I read more and more of Guru Granth Sahib and some of the articles written by Sikhs, my eyes lit and I was amazed that my Guru offers such beautiful and true teaching. I felt embarrassed for not knowing it until now. Everything a girl could ever imagine is in Sikhism. Guru ji gave women equal status as of men, equal rights and self-respect. My Guru made me a princess by giving me the last name, Kaur. I felt really ashamed and embarrassed having betrayed my Guru.

The next morning I told Sameer that I will no longer perform Durga Puja. When my mother-in-law heard this from Sameer, she became furious and started cursing me. And started telling Sameer that he should leave me. That morning I did not perform Durga Puja. One day Sameer came home and told me to get ready. I asked him the reason and he said it is a surprise. I had no idea where he was taking me until he took me to a mandir (Hindu Temple). He had tricked me to go to the mandir to do Durga Puja. I refused to get out of the car. He kept trying and even tried to drag me. Watching my resistance, he became furious and drove back home. He did not say a word and when we went in our room he slapped me. The slap was so unexpected and hard that I fell on the ground. I started crying and he started yelling. I wept for the whole night.

Slowly our marriage grew apart and we got divorced. I still regret my decision of getting married to Sameer. Sometimes our emotions make us blind and all we want to see is what suits our eyes and we ignore everything else, unaware of what we ignored will come back to haunt us. My advice to all Sikh girls is to marry a Sikh so that there would be no room for religious conflicts.

Rajneesh Madhok

 

[spnadmin]

rajneesh ji

I have edited your comments by putting "quote" brackets around the quoted material. It was difficult to tell your thoughts from quoted material. I hope I got it right btw. If not, let me know and I will fix it. Thanks for providing some reference material to ponder. Thanks for citing the SRM.

 

[kds1980]

Dear Randip ji,

Your perception is wrong. You will find more than 75% sikh girls married to Hindu boys than Hindu girls to Sikh boys. Kindly make random checking around your house and conclude yourself. The reason I don't know but the fact is that:

Rajneesh ji

Almost all the sikh sites have users Which belongs to elite class ,so looking around will bring the facts of elite society of sikhs as there is hardly any participation of middle class
lower middle class and poor sikhs on sikh sites.Looking around will bring only stats of elite class of sikhs Which is not true.

From past 15-20 years this issue is coming up.Sikhs Girls marrying Hindu's muslims or other religion.Already sikhs have more young men than women because female foeticide.Now the big question is who is marrying sikh guys? as in 15 years we should have truck load stock of unmarried sikh men if no one is marrying them,but that is not true.

 

[findingmyway]

I know plenty of Sikh men who are married to Hindu women and the kids generally are more inclined towards Hinduism but not always. Each of us is going to have different experiences but the fact remains that things are going to go both ways and both ways there will be problems as described above.
The question posed above is a theoretical one so I propose we move the discussion back from what does happen to what should happen. After reading other posts here, especially the case study presented by Rajneesh ji, I am convinced more than ever than Hindi-Sikh alliances are interfaith and therefore can cause major problems whether the Sikh partner is male or female as well as going against the SRM.

 

[Randip Singh]

Dear Randip ji,

Your perception is wrong. You will find more than 75% sikh girls married to Hindu boys than Hindu girls to Sikh boys. Kindly make random checking around your house and conclude yourself. The reason I don't know but the fact is that:

The truth about conversions most Sikhs go on and on about Sikh girls converting to Islam well Sikh girls convert to Hinduism more than Islam,across the world we all know someone who is Sikh girl married to a Hindu or have a relative who has done this.


Questions we must ask ourselves?

• Is it expectable in Sikh religion for Sikh girls to marry a Hindu? • Is this all a common Sikh practice or is it done by deception and fraud?

Is it expectable in Sikh religion for Sikh girls to marry Hindu?

Answer: No, it’s against the Sikh rehait maryada. As it states very clearly



Is this all a common Sikh practice or is it done by deception and fraud?

Answer: yes it is done under false pretences deception and fraud.



Below is a real life story of a Sikh Girl:


Amanpreet Kaur Marries a Hindu




Rajneesh Madhok

Rajneesh ji,

I know several Sikh men, (including one Amritdhari) in my social circle that have married Hindu women.

I only know two Sikh women who have married Hindu men (and even those two men go Gurudwara).

 

[rajneesh madhok]

Rajneesh ji

Almost all the sikh sites have users Which belongs to elite class ,so looking around will bring the facts of elite society of sikhs as there is hardly any participation of middle class
lower middle class and poor sikhs on sikh sites.Looking around will bring only stats of elite class of sikhs Which is not true.

From past 15-20 years this issue is coming up.Sikhs Girls marrying Hindu's muslims or other religion.Already sikhs have more young men than women because female foeticide.Now the big question is who is marrying sikh guys? as in 15 years we should have truck load stock of unmarried sikh men if no one is marrying them,but that is not true.

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <woNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> Kanwardeepji,
The discussion is based on inter caste marriage. The points to be discussed are:
Why are Sikh girls marrying Hindu Boys in large numbers than Hindu girls to Sikh boys?
The point of discussion is not that marriage of Sikh girls to Sikh boys or vice versa. The discussion started with Love marriages and turned to Inter-caste marriage. Now the second part of discussion is arranged with approval of the parents.
The reason may be Personality, liking, education, fast developing habits of drinking alchohal, financial status and many more which can’t be discussed at this platform.
If you need details go to any matrimonial column you will find hundreds of exceptions.
Your point that there should be truck load stock of unmarried sikh men if no one is marrying them,but that is not true.
You twisted the discussion, the discussion is based on inter-caste marriage and that is a hard fact that you will find 10 cases of marriage between Sikh girl with Hindu boy but will not find more than 1-2 marriages of Sikh boy with Hindu girls. I hope you would have followed my point.
http://fateh.sikhnet.com/Sikhnet/youth.nsf/by+Date/be3f2d85835e21be872569e4002e61a4!Open
Regards,
Rajneesh Madhok

 

[spnadmin]

spnadmin note: It is not clear to me that either caste or social class/elites figure into this discussion, other than to make the point that someone of a higher economic status is more likely to use Internet forums. There are some other elements of discussion that are taking us off-track.

So let's take the advice of findingmyway ji. Return to the topic: whether Sikh women can marry Hindu men. When they do, what challenges are faced? IMHO the title of the thread is very limited by use of the word "can." We already established that Sikh men/women can and do marry Hindu women/men. This is not unheard of. What is there to discuss about it? Where do we go next with the topic? Is the discussion really about "should " they marry, not "can" they marry one another?

 

[spnadmin]

Some earlier thread comments, and new comments unrelated to this discussion, have been copied to a new thread at this link http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-rehat-maryada/33888-who-is-marrying-sikh-men.html#post139768

 

[lionsingh]

If you love him/her then follow your heartcheerleader

 

[Ambarsaria]

If you love him/her then follow your heartcheerleader

lionsingh ji has given you a bare minimum litmus test. You should definitely think many times if you don't love or can't love another choice like a Sikh partner, that may be possible.

We usually get blind for a bit in love to see clearly.

However you should not forget realities of life either,

• Happiness is more than two people loving each other if that is your end objective, it is just a start
• Happiness is,
  • Living with your decision as marriage is a long journey
• Resolving rather than ignoring issues

• • • Parents and relatives on both sides
    • Off-springs to come
    • Hard times and good times as two people will always need a third person some time
      • Think if it is your brother, sister, uncle/aunt, mom/dad, etc.

• Again without repeating, if you are going to expect any of the above to work in the future, don't ignore issues

Technically speaking a Hindu/Sikh marriage can't happen as per Sikh Rehat Maryada unless the non-Sikh party agrees to convert to Sikhism and get their name changed to Kaur/Singh as appropriate.

You have to ask a Pandit ji about Hindu rituals, beliefs, rashis, superstitions, kundlis, auspicious occasions, stars line up, etc. Sikhism treats such as fools paradise perpetrated by Brahmins or other such to exploit the flock.

Sat Sri Akal.

 

[searcher]

Hi,
How can we believe a person who is converting himself to a Sikh will become a true Sikh. How can we say whether he/she who is not respecting his own religion(as he is converting himself to Sikh) will respect Sikhism.

 

[Ambarsaria]

Hi,
How can we believe a person who is converting himself to a Sikh will become a true Sikh. How can we say whether he/she who is not respecting his own religion(as he is converting himself to Sikh) will respect Sikhism.

searcher ji thanks and welcome on your first post.

Hypothetically as you stated I will answer hypothetically too,

• Example 1
  • I am Hindu/Muslim/etc. man wanting to marry a Sikh Woman
  • I promise to the the Sikh woman that I love (so called) as it will become clear later,
    • I will love you for ever, many other feelings, commitments, .., etc.
    • I am becoming a Sikh as we agreed!
    • After saying this, committed to doing so honestly
      • In married life the Hindu/Muslim/etc. man who became a Sikh actually shows up to have only lied to get married to you!
      • Has lied in front of Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji
  • Such a marriage is in all likelihood is going to fail or have lot have lot of issues like,
    • Hurt
    • Trust issues
    • Most likely will break down
      • Because it was based on false principles and statements and actions of convenience!
• Example 2
  • I am Hindu/Muslim/etc. woman wanting to marry a Sikh man
  • I promise to the the Sikh man that I love (so called) as it will become clear later,
    • I will love you for ever, many other feelings, commitments, .., etc.
    • I am becoming a Sikh as we agreed!
    • After saying this, committed to doing so honestly
      • In married life the Hindu/Muslim/etc. woman who became a Sikh actually shows up to have only lied to get married to you!
      • Has lied in front of Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji
  • Such a marriage is in all likelihood is going to fail or have lot have lot of issues like,
    • Hurt
    • Trust issues
    • Most likely will break down
      • Because it was based on false principles and statements and actions of convenience!

Sat Sri Akal.

 

[onurag]

Hi Ambarsaria ji..
I have a question. You mean to say only a Sikh man can truly love a Sikh woman and no one else. The thing that matters a lot in a relationship is love, trust, respect for your partner's feelings, respect for their religion and respect for their religious belief etc.
There are many people who are truly commited to his/her partner and are ready to do everything for him/her. One of my neighbour, Anoop ji (Hindu) and Parminder ji (Sikh) had done an inter religious marriage (24 years ago) and are living a happy life.