Hard Talk How Many Sikhs Have Married Out Of Caste/race?

[The Girl Singh]

I guess it all depends if the couple is Truely in Love because if a woman really loves her husband she would become a Singh or the other way around.
But my friend comes from a tradition Indian and Sikh family . And his parents want nothing more for him to marry a traditional indian girl. He has said that he thinks his parents would not be to happy with him if he marrys a non indian girl. Why is it that it seems like his parents would be disappionted if it wasn't an indian girl?

 

[ricky_xccess]

It depends...n its a rare case...but tell me what if its a other way round...if a sikh girl loves a non sikh boy and want to adopt his religion?? Actually i m making a point of how to hold our sikhism...U might have listen very rare case of sikh boy marrying a non sikh girl and that girl is now a gursikh girl...but u might have listen more of the cases where a sikh girl is married to a non sikh boy...n i dnt think it is easy for a girl to make her husband a sikh or her childrens a sikh...n also most importantly that sikh girl cant resist herself too much for cutting her hairs too...as in non sikh families people cut their hairs...pressure from family will let her cut her hairs n ultimate result to a non sikh girl...

And regarding your point about ur friend family not allowing him to marry a non indian girl..i think his parent should first meet that girl..try to find whether she will be adjusted to their home or not...tell her about our religion..our customs n so...n if she has no problem then i think parent should not have any problem in accepting her...

 

[The Girl Singh]

I never looked at it that way. You make a good point. It would put the sikh girl in a very difficult position. there are a million ways that it could work out so marrying out of religion and race can be complicated or an easy thing it all depends on the situation. Which brings me to the conclusion that it is ok to marry an "outsider" but it can be difficult to keep ones religion of Sikhism, But it is not impossible.

Do you thing it is strange for women to have the Last name Singh?

 

[ricky_xccess]

Dear i think women should use last name as 'Kaur'. As Guru Gobind Singh ji told every sikh to have Singh as his last name and every sikh women to have Kaur as her last name. I personally think that it is not strange these days for a girl to use singh as her last name. Even where i am working there are 2 sikh girls who use her last name as Singh only.

 

[dala]

Guru Gobind Singh ji wouldnt approve in their time or even today for us to marry out of race.

and its not strange have surname for female 'singh' as your parents may only have one surname 'singh' so therefore your surname is singh too.

 

[desperate girl]

hello, im a filipina, really inlove in punjabi guy, sikhs religion,,i dont know all about punjabi and about culture and thier religion,, but when i met my bf,i search about his culture and about this, i become desperate and become hopeless because i found out that punjabi is only for punjabi,,,the family will the one to choose to be marry of thier son and daughter,,im so sad because i really love my bf,,even he told me that hes the one to choose who he will love with,, but i know someday that come family will still dicides,,i know hes 35 now and he loves me because he told me that,,but i know his family will not allow me to love him,,i dont know why he came to my life,,i dont know whats the reason of GOD why he let this guy came to my life,, i dont know why i fall inlove to this guy even i dont really know who is he ,,all i just know im so happy if hes with me and i love him so much more than he ever know,,i keep hoping that he will never leave me,, but i know he respect his parents,, there will be time he will choose if he will follow his parents dicision or his dicision..i learn in SLUMDOG MILLIONIER ,THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN NEVER GIVE UP,, but how come i my bf will give up our relationship someday because of culture,, its really hurt in my part,, im so hopeless and desperate ,,i love him so much,,so now im so confuse... i know what to do,, sorry if i tell this even its not fit in this topic but i want someone to talk with,,:hmm:

 

[AdsKhalsa]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa..Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh......

I am a son of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji and going to marry Hindu maratha girl. My father gave me her...and I have to follow him...and I am happy that she is also involved in worshiping GOD by her own rituals. Only Ardaas I do to Guru Ji that any child he give to me ..should also become his son, and brother and sister of Baba Ajit Singh Ji, Jujhar Singh Ji..............

 

[spnadmin]

Adassaini ji

What an open heart you have! After a week of bitterness in the world there you are saying what you say.

 

[AdsKhalsa]

Aad0002 Ji..

Thanks. Bus Guru Ji de kahe te chal saqaan eh hi koshish hai....Amrit chaka ke Panj Pyareyaan ne kehya si...Jaat Paat di adhaar te behd bahv nahi karna...saari maanas jaat ek hi hai............

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa...Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.....

 

[Hardip Singh]

hello, im a filipina, really inlove in punjabi guy, sikhs religion,,i dont know all about punjabi and about culture and thier religion,, but when i met my bf,i search about his culture and about this, i become desperate and become hopeless because i found out that punjabi is only for punjabi,,,the family will the one to choose to be marry of thier son and daughter,,im so sad because i really love my bf,,even he told me that hes the one to choose who he will love with,, but i know someday that come family will still dicides,,i know hes 35 now and he loves me because he told me that,,but i know his family will not allow me to love him,,i dont know why he came to my life,,i dont know whats the reason of GOD why he let this guy came to my life,, i dont know why i fall inlove to this guy even i dont really know who is he ,,all i just know im so happy if hes with me and i love him so much more than he ever know,,i keep hoping that he will never leave me,, but i know he respect his parents,, there will be time he will choose if he will follow his parents dicision or his dicision..i learn in SLUMDOG MILLIONIER ,THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN NEVER GIVE UP,, but how come i my bf will give up our relationship someday because of culture,, its really hurt in my part,, im so hopeless and desperate ,,i love him so much,,so now im so confuse... i know what to do,, sorry if i tell this even its not fit in this topic but i want someone to talk with,,:hmm:

Dear,
One small advice. It is not very difficult at all to adopt to a Sikhs way of life. Punjabis or Sikhs are very simple from heart but the hardest work horses. They only require honest submission to them. Nothing harm in knowing and adopting their culture. I have some of my friends who are married to Russian girls. They hav adopted the language , their fooding habbits & their religion and are happily settled for years. No harm. Do try. My best wishes to you.

 

[AdsKhalsa]

hello, im a filipina, really inlove in punjabi guy, sikhs religion,,i dont know all about punjabi and about culture and thier religion,, but when i met my bf,i search about his culture and about this, i become desperate and become hopeless because i found out that punjabi is only for punjabi,,,the family will the one to choose to be marry of thier son and daughter,,im so sad because i really love my bf,,even he told me that hes the one to choose who he will love with,, but i know someday that come family will still dicides,,i know hes 35 now and he loves me because he told me that,,but i know his family will not allow me to love him,,i dont know why he came to my life,,i dont know whats the reason of GOD why he let this guy came to my life,, i dont know why i fall inlove to this guy even i dont really know who is he ,,all i just know im so happy if hes with me and i love him so much more than he ever know,,i keep hoping that he will never leave me,, but i know he respect his parents,, there will be time he will choose if he will follow his parents dicision or his dicision..i learn in SLUMDOG MILLIONIER ,THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN NEVER GIVE UP,, but how come i my bf will give up our relationship someday because of culture,, its really hurt in my part,, im so hopeless and desperate ,,i love him so much,,so now im so confuse... i know what to do,, sorry if i tell this even its not fit in this topic but i want someone to talk with,,:hmm:

Its nice to share your feelings with us with open heart. We welcome you. As Hardip Singh Ji told...its not hard to adopt the culture of Sikhs...but it really needs dedication to follow sikhism...but thats different point..

well let me share my little past with you all Saadh Sangat...I was thinking of cutting my hairs to get accepted in my Girl Friends home...because they are reluctant about being a guy with hairs....but I appreciate Guru Ji and my parents...gradually I decided not to cut hairs..and told my GF that ..I can leave my parents...I can leave any thing in this world, but not my Guru....if you want to accept me the way I am ..its fine.. otherwise I am happy with my Guru.....I never forced her to change her religion ...I told if you want to follow your religion after marriage it fine...but follow strictly....believe in one...Before meeting her parents last year in India..I recited Benati Caupai Sahib...and told Guru Ji...."Jo Tudh Bhaavey Soyi Changa"...and after meeting her parents...I felt that I can not talk so maturely....Guru Ji was there..he was putting such words in me...and that day her father (who never says good about anybody in first meeting) told her family that boy is nice, intelligent and mature..but only thing is he is Sikh........ .I never thought of talking so maturely with her parents.......I believe in Guru...and he is with me everytime....I say that ..I felt and experienced that Guru Ji takes care of you ......just leave everything on him....Pray to Guru Ji...to give strength to follow sikhi upto last breath.................

"Apne Sewak Ki Aape Raakhey.......Aape Naam Japavey... (SGGS Ji)"

This is just my feelings and perception ...

One more thing I would like to say that..in Ardaas we say..."Seyi Pyare Melo Jinha Milya Tera Naam Chit Aawey...."......Guru Ji send me to you Sangat....ek khwahish poori hoyi.....daas Kotaan Kot Shukriya karda ae...Guru Ji Da.........



"Tere Bhaney Sarbat Da Bhala"

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa..Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh........

 

[The Girl Singh]

To help you understand more Desperate Girl, if you really love your boyfriend and you want to be with him then learn Sikhism. Dont be afraid to ask your boyfriend questions as well. It would not hurt you to learn a bit of the language. If you want to be able to marry your boyfriend then learning these things will show that you care and get his parents to look at you differently. But don't give up, keep trying. And try looking at it from your boyfriends parents point of view. They want the best for their son and they probably want him to folllow his religion and stay true to it, they might worry there son will loose his way. it is basically every parents worry so keep trying.

 

[Malvinder]

marrying out of caste is different to marrying out of religion...

I don't believe in caste...i didn't marry out of caste just because that's the way it worked out but i wasn't opposed to it, i have family members that are married out of caste.. as long as you are sikh that's all that concerns me

 

[KulwantK]

It is always interesting to see things like this. It shows that such things do still matter in peoples' minds. In Sikhism, we are told that we are all children of God, and God loves each of us, no matter what race, gender, age, color, caste, religion, or anything. So, in that way, it should not be a concern at all. Yet, it oftenly still is. So, of course, it begs the question, "Why?"

I have been thinking about this one for several years now. I believe a great deal of it has to do with what many call "the comfort zone". We are much more comfortable when we are with peole who have similar backgrounds to us. This would include the aspect of background having to do with one's religious practices.

We must always take this sort of thing into account when we are thinking about marriage. There are many situations in which there are a man and a woman who love each other dearly and wish to get married, but come from different religions. In the happiest of situations, they will respect one another's religion, or one may happily convert to the other's religion, and they will marry. However, there is the question of the in-laws, and how to raise the children.

So, what is the final answer? I think it would have to do with what each individual's core beliefs are regarding spirituality and how much it has to do with everyday life. For example, if a woman is a Sikh and the man is a Muslim, and they want to marry, and he wants her to covert to Islam, but she does not wish to, then she should follow her true beliefs and A) stay Sikh and B) not marry that man.

The above does not have anything to do with caste. Caste is rather like class, which is not so rigid and is more determined by education and socio-economic status in wich one is brought up rathern than by birth.

Sikhism does not formally recognize caste or class, and that should be a factor to think about.

 

[The Khalsa Fauj]

It is against Gurmat to marry someone who doesn't adhere to Gurmat philosophy. That is manmat. Gurmat says to follow Gurmat and not what mind says. Love and stuff is duality and doesn't lead to the Lord in the end. One worships stones and one opposes stone worship. It doesn't work out. One says halal is allowed and other says halal is wrong. It doesn't work out. One says cutting hair is allowed and other says it is manmat. It doesn't work out. People marrying should pick a religion and follow it. Don't try to make a sabjee out of several religions. Couples should decide one religion and follow it. Not stick their nose in different ones. It leaves children confused. Gurbani rejects caste system and says:

hmrI jwiq piq scu nwau ] {gurU gRMQ swihb jI, pMnw 353}
Humree Jaat Paat Sach Naao ||
My caste and honor is the True name of God.


Gurmat rejects core beliefs of Hinduism, Islam, Buddism, Jainism, Christianity, etc.. I don't have time to write which ones. One can do own personal study. Gurbani says the following about devi devtas:

bRhmw ibsnu mhwdyau qRY gux rogI ivic haumY kwr kmweI ] ijin kIey iqsih n cyqih bpuVy hir gurmuiK soJI pweI ] 2] {gurU gRMQ swihb jI, pMnw 735}
Brahmaa Bissan Mahadeo Trai Guon Roagee Vich Haomai Car Kmaaee || Jin Keeaye Tisheh Na Chaythe Har Gurmukh Soajhee Paaee || 2||
Brahmaa, Bissan and Mahesh were diseased by the three qualities of maaya (materialism); they acted in ego. They didn’t remember the one who created them. One gains this understanding by placing his faith on God. 2.

Brmy suir nr dyvI dyvw ] {gurU gRMQ swihb jI, pMnw 258}
Bharmay Sur Nar Dayvee Dayvaa ||
Angelic individuals, goddesses and gods are wedged in doubt.

 

[Lee]

Couples should decide one religion and follow it. Not stick their nose in different ones. It leaves children confused.

Ji,

I have often heard this one and I must say that this is completely wrong.

My own children are not confused by haveing a Sikh father and an Atheist mother. One is very much an atheist and the other professes towards agnostisism.
So not correct I'm afraid.

 

[KulwantK]

Different approaches work for different people. Narrow-mindedness can be upseting.

 

[tony]

How if we are all one created by god can we marry out of caste/ race. God created one race, Human beings, All others are man made, man thought up descriptions of other human beings, Man judging other men. I advise all Sikhs to read the SGGS and then ask youreslf what is another caste/ race, If you can come up with an answer other than there is no caste/ race then keep reading till you can grab the concept of all are equal, a basic concept of Sikhi. Equallity = Gurmat, Caste/ race = manmat simple really.

 

[shearwater]

God has made of one blood all nations of mankind. This means that distinctions such as caste and race are artificial at best. My personal belief is that one should marry another person as close to himself culturally and religiously as he possibly can. The Bible says "be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers." So the more equality you can muster in your relationships, the better.

 

[tony]

Shearwater ji your post contradicts itself, how does marrying someone from the same culture display equality, Different race = different culture, as with different religion, to see a difference in culture/ religion is to display inequality. My wife and I are from completely different cultural/ religious backgrounds and yet we treat each other as perfect equals, although I think she might be the Boss, more sense than myself. Equality comes from the acceptance of others differences and not from tolerence at a distance. the sooner the world mixes into one people the better.
btw who do you consider as unbelievers in the context of the bible
Tony