I Considered Cutting My Hair

[Ambarsaria]

Great dialog and some jousting but couple of things come to mind,

• Let us not expect from others but expect from selves
• Let us not teach other Sikhs, teach ourselves
  • For me Sikhi is a continuous spectrum from the minmal to complete and everything in between
  • As long as we don't judge others to be less than others all is good. Love for all Sikhs is needed no matter how impure or imperfect these are. There may still be a wavering or light fluttering inside that could rekindle and shine ever so bright in the future
• I am guilty of the following one but I think it stands:angryyoungsingh:
  • Let us not judge others but judge ourselves

Sikhism gives us the gift to be at peace in every way and at all stages of our living if we look close enough. There are obvious imbalances as we are at times mature inside and immature in appearance and vice-versa.

Sat Sri Akal. peacesign kaurhug

 

[Harry Haller]

Luckyji,

Ironically I had the best time of my life when I lived in the north, I also was the only brown face in school, and I was treated with much love and respect, (age 10), in fact, I loved going to school. No, my problems started when we moved to the midlands, and then I was bullied by many kids the same colour as me, some, the same religion as me, although I have to say that it never occurred to me that the reason was my hair, I just assumed I was 'different', even more ironically, when we lived in India for a couple of years, yes you guessed it, I was bullied there too, on account of being an 'angrez', so I was pretty much bullied everywhere apart from a predominantly white school.

I think it is tempting to put bullying down to hair/turban, when sometimes it runs much much deeper than that. Firstly, people are bullied for many many reasons, all to do with being a bit different, and secondly, I think it teaches you an important lesson, you stop running after the herd, you become your own person, you validate yourself, and it teaches you stand up for yourself

 

[Ambarsaria]

Sometimes bullying is a state of mind and very hard to look past specially when one is young. We react to how others look at, say things and react to us.

For the UK gang the above picture from the late 1960s I believe. Areas my father lived in was Shepherd's Bush/Hammersmith in London near old Sinclair Road Gurdwara. My father in the longer thicker white beard.

In bullying we have to rise above the self conscious and just be. It happens that such lack of self consciousness and self focus would also cause others to react accordingly most of the time. Of course there will still be some barking dogs and you do what is best for such and it is "IGNORE THEM". Whole purpose of a barking dog is to attract attention and if you don't give it, they shut up and become quite pitiful.

Sat Sri Akal.

 

[Kamala]

So are you going to cut it or not? If you do cut it, I don't know why you would even bother asking on a religious site because since you obviously aren't religious these opinions will not really do anything for you. :shifty:

 

[TigerStyleZ]

Ok , I have read all posts - about bullying now. And due to my aspect, all Sikhs with Kesh had the same journey , the difference between the journey is just, that we all didn´t chose the same way to handle/treat this "bullying/problem". But all in all the Stories are all the same but we all ended up different , some cut their hairs some don´t.

The sad thing is with my 17 years I went trough all things you mentioned here... IT jus

Where is my post ? I wrote long post! -.-Why it wasn´t saved .....!!

 

[Luckysingh]

So are you going to cut it or not? If you do cut it, I don't know why you would even bother asking on a religious site because since you obviously aren't religious these opinions will not really do anything for you. :shifty:

I don't think that we should question each others religious scale or holding or even be judging. The opinions on here are not answers and they were never intended to be.
The opinions help the person to think much more about their actions and the impact.
This may be a religious site, but the people on here are normal human beings that can help and advise in plenty of other aspects of life as well.te
Were not just programmed to cite the rehat or Guru's words for every question.

 

[Parma]

Maybe one day we can help each other to eradicate this bullying or help influence others to stop it. Is their anything or something we can do collectively to help the younger generations. We may think things are not as bad now but trust me they are. You still have young generations, cultures and other aspects of societies that will cause these frictions. I guess the true result would be to stop bullying completely regardless of cultural backgrounds barriers and people. We are all apart of the Human race. This for me is were the case of the Sikh comes in as we are all Sikh, some maybe Keshdari, Sehajdari, Amritdhari, Nirankari end in end we are all Sikh. Which is the case I have been putting forward. Who knows it is a dream. If people would accept each other instead of trying to change one another just change yourself for the change you want to see in the world is all I can suggest. If you want to see more Singh's become one, if you want more understanding in people in the world become an understanding person. Be what god intends you to be not what the world wants you to be, so long as you are not harming anyone else or hurting anyone else (that includes yourself). Only you can define you. That is true liberation and true peace.peacesign

 

[Kanwaljit.Singh]

I think Sikhtoons came up with a series of cartoon storybook a child could share with his classmates! Basically to introduce them to Sikhi! I have no idea how effective that was!

 

[Kamala]

I don't think that we should question each others religious scale or holding or even be judging. The opinions on here are not answers and they were never intended to be.
The opinions help the person to think much more about their actions and the impact.
This may be a religious site, but the people on here are normal human beings that can help and advise in plenty of other aspects of life as well.te
Were not just programmed to cite the rehat or Guru's words for every question.

Oh okay, but is he going to cut it

 

[OpenmindedSingh]

I appreciate all the feedback and contributions that everyone has been making. I would have responded a little sooner, but for some reason, my email didn't inform of the subsequent replies.

As of now, I think I'm more confused than ever. I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing and I'm not going to determine whether it is. What really annoys me at this point is the fact that my mother continues to repeat the same rhetoric about not allowing me back home, taking my car, credit card, etc. if I trim my dhari. I'm going back home tomorrow as the semester is over and she said she is going to look at my dhari. So now I feel like I might end up keeping it out of fear, which is the last thing I want to do. I don't want to maintain Sikhi out of fear. Sikhi, historically, has stood in opposition to that very idea of coercing individuals into adopting different views and religious standards.

I don't know whether my mother is responding the way she is out of fear, because she sounds really genuine and serious in her speech. It's really difficult to decipher whether she's just trying to scare me or not. Anyway, all of the rhetoric is making more confused, more guilty, more depressed, more angry. Now I'm beginning to equate maintaining Sikhi with maintaining good family relations and the basic luxuries I am afforded through them - tuition costs, housing, etc.

I agree with what was posted earlier about working on oneself as a Sikh and not being so judgmental.

 

[Harry Haller]

Openmindedji

Please accept this situation has nothing to do with Sikhism, or your faith, and everything to do with family politics.

Your mother forcing you to keep your beard is no more Sikhi than forcing to you to wear red loon trousers. If I were you, I would embrace the loon trousers until you are old enough to stand on your own two feet, I think this fight will have to wait another day.

Your mother does not own Sikhi, she does not make the rules, this is about her pride and her fears, not yours. However, if you love her, and can take into account all she has done for you over the years, it is a small price to pay to keep her happy.

Just wear the bloody loon pants my friend and keep her happy, thats what sons do all over the world, dont drag Sikhi into this kaurhug

Oh okay, but is he going to cut it

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Kamalaji,

are you one of those people that hold the traffic up by staring at car crashes?

 

[TigerStyleZ]

This is good , you need some fear to realize, or you will never learn. You are depressed- fight against this depression. If you want to maintain Sikhi - you have to go throu this fear. There is no way around it , like haller ji said. And when you are really abit interested in Sikhi , you will really get to know the need of "hair". I suggest you to live in Gurdwara 24/7 hours a day - and your mind will change rapidly - the need and the wanting to cut the hair was a product of your environment - I bet if you would have lived in a Gurdwara 24/7 you would never bother yourself nor any other person. Do you see the point? When you cut your hair you think you will get more happy because of your bahgra group and whatever but NO! If you really have love for Sikhi and be it abit you will understand. I am not you and I can not force you in the end it is you, who needs to stand for hisself . I don´t want to influence you like other things in environment (Sangat, whatever) . But do you see the point, it depends how much you are willing to accept Sikhi. The beard you now have , will protect you from some really bad things - trust me . It will remeber you on bad actions.And HAIR is a part of Sikhi - and that will NEVER change - you need to accept it not deny it! And I am still quite unsure that you told us the whole Story . In the end it is YOU and only YOU who decides - Am I a product of my environment - or am I ME, myself???


Menu Sikh nahi pyare , menu Rehat pyare ee.
Guru Gobind Singh ji

 

[Inderjeet Kaur]

OpenmindedSingh ji,

Ravi Singh of Khalsa Aid posted the below on Facebook and I asked his permission to share it with you. He agreed and makes you the following offer:

I would also ask him to come to Haiti with me for few days before he cuts his hair ! He will see the love and respect we get as Singhs. We will pay his ticket and I will accompany him.

Please contact me either here or in a PM. and I will put you in contact with him directly. I would most strongly urge you to accept this offer. Khalsa Aid is doing marvelous sewa in Haiti. It would be the experience of a lifetime, as well as giving you some more experience on which to base your decision.

Ravi Singh ji says:

There i was wearing a turban and walking towards a barbers chair !! Now i look back at that moment as an animal going to its own slaughter ! I was going to get someone to cut my hair off and it was going to be in front of dozens of new Air Force recruits !!! The year was 1988 ! The love my mother put into lovingly nourishing my hair for years was destroyed in seconds !! I really didn't think anything at the time as I never fully understood why hair are so important to Sikhs. Looking back now i feel it was one of the worst self-betrayals and the day my conscious committed suicide !! But after years of wilderness my Guru directed me back towards Sikhi ! No matter how weak I am as a Sikh, I will never stop trying to be better ! I hope my brothers who do not keep their hair or wear a turban will one day too have Gurus blessings and wear the crown on their heads and walk tall with pride and with a confidence of a king !!

 

[TigerStyleZ]

Wow! Great! I can´t imagine you get a chance for a lifetime experience! Use it !
Thanks Inderjeet Kaur for sharing! Wish I could go there...

 

[Ekampreet Kaur]

Sabat Surat Dastaar Sira..

 

[Inderjeet Kaur]

Wow! Great! I can´t imagine you get a chance for a lifetime experience! Use it !
Thanks Inderjeet Kaur for sharing! Wish I could go there...

That makes two of us!

But no need to thank me. I just asked Ravi ji if I could reproduce his status here and he did the rest.

animatedkhanda1
​

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

Those who have cut their hair just dont know the value of hair in Sikhi...All those Brave Sikhs in saragharree and WW1 and WWII and all those martyrs and all martial warriors..all have dastaars and full panj kakaars.....no MONASIKHS have ever achieved anything as a group..except may be a few individuals here and there..may be my personal opinion..and biased..but its my life experience...
I have never had to stand in a Que ( not for long anyway...it always naturally happens..people in front of me smile and usher me along in front of them...had never stood in a crowded bus...sitting passengers always stood up after looking at my long flowing beard ..and smiled..in fact i received ROYAL TREATMENT for as far back as I can remember..and its all due to my Hair/dastaar..nothing less. I got preferential tretament long before my beard grew white and i turned "Golden" which qualifies everyone for such..BUT still I noticed that Youngsters sitting down in a LRT or Bus etc who wont stand up for pregnanat ladies, or old men of their own race..would definitley GET UP for me...and then I declined in favor of a pregnant lady or another old man standing nearby....thats LIFE as I experienced..and I THANK GURU JI for this Gift of hair and Gurbani..which guarantees ME privileged INVITES to Mansions i never could dream of entering..tea and lunch with high rnaking ministers, govt officials..etc etc...its a real PRIVELEGE to be having this REHAT of Guru Gobind Singh ji...
SGGS Guur Ji says.."Mein RULTA FIRTA koi baat na poochhta..."...BUT when we become HIS..like Dhanna Bhagat or ravidass who dont have a Half kauddi (half cent) between them all..become WORLD FAMOUS....and THAT i have experienced and feel "glorified" myself in...truly SGGS speaks the TRUTH...

 

[dalbirk]

I wish to give my two cents :
1. In Sikhism IMHO hair were made compulsory to make us UNIQUE from Hindus & Muslims , also all other communities in the world .
2. Sikhs aim for overcoming five vices namely Lust , Anger , Greed , Attachment & Ego by practising five virtues namely Truth , Contentment , Mercy , Good Conduct & Contemplation . Sikhs should always remember God , try to remember & inculcate His qualities which are mentioned in MOOLMANTAR as There is One Universal God for whole humanity , His name is True ( He does exists ) , He is the Creator , Sustainer & Destroyer , Without Fear , Without Enmity , Beyond the realm of Time , Does not come in Cycles of births & deaths , His is Self Illuminated , He is achieved by the Grace of True Guru / Word Teacher / Sri Guru Granth Sahib . Sikhs should do Honest labour ( remember Honest labour comes before Naam ) , remember the qualities of God 24 hrs a day ( Naam Simran ) & share earnings with less fortunate .
3. The Sikhs were / are born to stand out , so they should not try to ASSIMILATE . If somebody is not confident from his heart & mind then even dressing like Barack Obama will not help him . Confidence always comes from inside . IMHO Sikhism is an unparralleled ideology / philosophy , if followed in full earnest will make a person popular among 7 billion inhabitants of the world with not having a single enemy in this Universe .

 

[mr2guysingh]

I feel the opposite of OpenmindedSingh. My mom's family convinced her to get my hair cut when I was younger. They said that in school kid's will make fun of me, etc, etc. I feel like that is one of my biggest mistakes in life. When I was growing up, all the kids had their hair, and none of them wanted to play with me because their parent's didn't approve that my hair was cut. But now all those kids are older, and most have cut their hair because they want to.
Most of the time my hair is long, and I wear a hat to cover it, but then my beard gets long and my boss tells me I need to trim my beard. I want to became a full Sardar because my best friend is one, and I see how different he is treated in the Sikh community compared to someone who cut their hair. Everyone in my family has cut their hair; my cousin cut his hair a couple of years ago. He also wore a hat to cover his head, but he also trimmed his beard and did other things not allowed by Sikhs.

It seems like more younger kid's are starting to cut their hair to blend in, and think that thing's will change for them. But in the end, it doesn't matter how you are on the outside, it is your personality. I've seen many Sardar's that have long hair, yet trim their beard and then go out clubbing and still get respected by the Sikh community, yet if the Singh that has his hair cut does none of that and has much more respect for his religion (except for the hair cutting pair) gets not as much.

It's it your choice, but I think you'll regret cutting your hair once you realize that thing's aren't going to change, and you'll see how different you'll be treated by the Sikh community.

 

[Kanwaljit.Singh]

The passed down history says that keeping uncut hair was the first and foremost thing asked from Sikhs, by even Guru Nanak. It is the first sign of you saying 'Yes Guru am ready to walk your Path!'. It is not like asking you to keep celibacy or fast. It is getting into your natural look. But it is ultimate test of dedication, specially for those who have been cutting or trimming hair. I can see why some brothers find it hard to keep hair uncut. Once you are into a habit, it is hard to get out. Still this a big external sign of acceptance that you have started walking on Guru's Path. I know many people with uncut hair go to do some un-sikh things. But people who say they can be good at heart while not keeping hair uncut are just getting carried away by ego. Don't do. Listen to yourself. Listen to your hair which will grow longer again and again. It is said there is a priest's mummy in Goa whose hair is turning black again. Remember our hair is gift of evolution. When I wrap and tie my hair on top of my head, I feel like my Guru is always holding my head in a blessing. It is a very special feeling. No other religion asks you to keep hair uncut and carry a comb (Kanga) on your person all the time. It is a really special and personal relationship. Don't lose it whether due to friends influence, trying to look good or even if you are simply in doubt!