I Considered Cutting My Hair

[kds1980]

I've seen many Sardar's that have long hair, yet trim their beard and then go out clubbing and still get respected by the Sikh community, yet if the Singh that has his hair cut does none of that and has much more respect for his religion (except for the hair cutting pair) gets not as much.

This is the unfortunate truth of sikh community.Large majority of them just want to see a turban and some beard and then you are automatically accepted as Sikh.There was hue and cry when when Cricketer Harbhajan singh walked ramp with his hair down,even SGPC objected that While the reality is Harbhajan shave/trims his beard,So when he was already not keeping his full hair why Sikh community objected when none of them raise objection When cut haired sikhs do something.

 

[Ishna]

The grass is always greener on the other side. We always want what we can't have. No one wants to be told what to do.

These are really difficult aspects of human nature to get over.

 

[Inderjeet Kaur]

The grass is always greener on the other side. We always want what we can't have. No one wants to be told what to do.

These are really difficult aspects of human nature to get over.

Maybe it comes with age (maturity?). Sometime shortly after I turned 50, I realised all those dopey little things about my appearance that I had always disliked and wanted changed were just fine with me, in fact, I liked them. Even that receeding chinline that gives me a rather unintelligent-looking profile became sort of endearing to me, just because it was me.

I still don't like being told what to do except by Guru ji, then it's OK.

(Completely OT - or maybe not: Have you realised that Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji maharaj is the handbook for how to win the game of life?)

 

[OpenmindedSingh]

thank you, Inderjeet ji!

Tell Ravi ji I said thank you and I really appreciate the offer, but due to scholastic and work commitments, I won't be able to accept it.

(haha, I never thought I'd get a trip to Haiti out of this conversation)

I'm still confused, but I received more lecturing from parents, none of which has made me any less confused. I was told Sakhis and stories from Sikh History, and although they are inspiring, they didn't really have an impact on me. I love Sikhi and I love Sikh History, but idk lecturing on Sikhi isn't really changing my mind at all.

As of now, I've decided that this summer, I'm either going to go one way or the other. I'm not living the rest of my life as a sardar who cuts/trims his dhari (whether noticeable or not) and I'm not going to live as Sardar who maintains his dhari out of fear.

 

[TigerStyleZ]

But isn´t it the fear - that makes you cut your hair?? In my eyes you are still confused.

Ishna ji , hit the nail on the top.
"The grass is always greener on the other side. We always want what we can't have. No one wants to be told what to do.

These are really difficult aspects of human nature to get over."

I don´t understand you ! You love something and can have it, but you don´t take it!!
Many people love things but they can´t have it - they are willing to cut their arm to have it - but you??!?! Seriously what wrong with you?!?!

We are just trying to beware you from this mistake - but in end it is you - however.

I guess you need to have this mistake - I can´t /will not stop you , bro. We are all Children in our minds and we all have to learn. Maybe you can report back in 5-10 years . what happend to you after cutting.

Good luck (Sin)gh?

 

[Harry Haller]

Tigerji,

I think you are mistaken, openmindedji does not love his hair, he just wishes to live life as he wants, and choose how he looks to the outside world, I still do not think Sikhi has anything to do with this thread, it is about social problems.

We are all different, and we all have different thoughts on hair, we may not agree with him, but we should not damn him for being as honest as he has.

Openmindedji, the cat is out of the bag now, the hard bit is over, I hope you find some compromise with your family, sometimes family is all we have, be careful, don't bet the ranch, Good Luck

 

[Kamala]

Openmindedji

Please accept this situation has nothing to do with Sikhism, or your faith, and everything to do with family politics.

Your mother forcing you to keep your beard is no more Sikhi than forcing to you to wear red loon trousers. If I were you, I would embrace the loon trousers until you are old enough to stand on your own two feet, I think this fight will have to wait another day.

Your mother does not own Sikhi, she does not make the rules, this is about her pride and her fears, not yours. However, if you love her, and can take into account all she has done for you over the years, it is a small price to pay to keep her happy.

Just wear the bloody loon pants my friend and keep her happy, thats what sons do all over the world, dont drag Sikhi into this kaurhug



Kamalaji,

are you one of those people that hold the traffic up by staring at car crashes?

I just want to know also I think obviously if he even has to question whether he wants to cut it makes him unworthy of being a religion law abiding Sikh.

 

[OpenmindedSingh]

"I think obviously if he even has to question whether he wants to cut it makes him unworthy of being a religion law abiding Sikh."

Not trying to sound mean here, but who is anyone else to judge whether or not I am a Sikh? Isn't the relationship between a Sikh and his Guru determined by the Guru only?

Anyway, I'm writing because I've come to a standstill. I'm not really sure what to do (again). I know the issue is going to ultimately and eventually unfold, and that will be the point of progress. I don't know when, and I don't know how, and I'm not inclined to play a role in its unfolding.

 

[mr2guysingh]

Do you wear a patka or a pug? You should try and wear a hat or something else and see what others think/say to you. You'll get a good understanding if you want to go through with it, or not.

 

[Ishna]

Not trying to sound mean here, but who is anyone else to judge whether or not I am a Sikh? Isn't the relationship between a Sikh and his Guru determined by the Guru only?

And what has the Guru told the Sikh to do with relation to his hair? Guru ji has set the bar, no one else.

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

And what has the Guru told the Sikh to do with relation to his hair? Guru ji has set the bar, no one else.

Ishna Ji..am also not trying to be mean or simialr..just the Devils Advocate..

Now since we "SIKHS" cant "judge" him and his sikhi...how can we then "judge" what the GURU,,""says" to him ?? He heard the Guru in his mind..we heard the GURU in our MINDS..how do we know that what we heard is the exact same thing he heard ??

From past experience with such questions..problems..its just a matter of .."looking for support for WHAT I am about to do !!"...IF I want to cut my hair....then I ma LOOKING for as many psoters as possible saying..YES GO AHEAD and cut man..i cut mine long ago..and its feels great..blah blah blah.." The More NAY SAYERS..themore frustrating it becomes..and finally it coems down to..You are Juding me..who are you to judge me ?? etc etc..becasue the answers he looked for are not forthcoming...thats all. My HONEST opinion...not my intnetion to hurt or encourage or discourage..becasue the Ultimate decision is OUR OWN...we PICK up the RIGHT LEG..we live by the consequences..and later IF we want to PICK UP the LEFT LEG..we must put down the RIGHT one first...NO ONE DECIDES whether we pick the right or left leg...

 

[Harry Haller]

"I think obviously if he even has to question whether he wants to cut it makes him unworthy of being a religion law abiding Sikh."

Not trying to sound mean here, but who is anyone else to judge whether or not I am a Sikh? Isn't the relationship between a Sikh and his Guru determined by the Guru only?

Anyway, I'm writing because I've come to a standstill. I'm not really sure what to do (again). I know the issue is going to ultimately and eventually unfold, and that will be the point of progress. I don't know when, and I don't know how, and I'm not inclined to play a role in its unfolding.

Speaking from personal experience, I think you are underestimating the huge effect this situation will have on the rest of your life. Many years from now, you will look back on this time, and realise what a defining moment it was. I would go as far as to say your entire life hinges on what is happening right now, as there are so many factors in play here regarding your future.

Has the desire to shed your physical image affected your heart? your words are not that of a Sikh, if you do not know when or how, then what are you doing about it?

Some might say it was foolish not to be inclined to be involved, and be content to passively watch a situation that had been self created, conclude in its own way with the minimal of intervention.

As I understand it, keeping hair means you get money and a car, losing the hair, your on your own.

Its the million dollar question that was put to the martyrs of old, but in reverse!

Sikhism never said the world should convert to Sikhi and keep hair, Sikhism says to be brave and let your outsides reflect your insides, to stand up for what you believe in, to be your own man, sounds to me like you would be a better Sikh if you did cut your hair, as it is only the creature comforts, and lack of family stress that is making you keep it, and in my view, to keep it in those circumstances is worse than not at all.

 

[Ishna]

Gyaniji, what is the point of discussion forums if we're not supposed to look at things from all directions? Im not judging anyone, I'm making an observation on what I gather is an element of sikhi-keeping hair. Last time I checked, kesh was one of the kakkars given to Sikhs by Guru Gobind Singh Ji. That much is clear- no inner voice required to know this practicality. The inner guidance is separate and I have said nothing about that.

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

Ishna Ji..we are on the same wavelength...maybe a short glitch...fade in fade out..or snow on the tv screen...he he..i understood you perfectly...

2. it just struck me..OpenMinded vs CLOSED minded ?? looks suspiciously like the Clean Shaven word many monas love..implying that those who keep kesh are actually dirty and unshaven.unkempt...???? .so one cutting hair is OPENminded and another like me hwo keeps kesh is CLOSEDMINDED ?? not judging..just observing...

 

[Searching]

2. it just struck me..OpenMinded vs CLOSED minded ?? looks suspiciously like the Clean Shaven word many monas love..implying that those who keep kesh are actually dirty and unshaven.unkempt...???? .so one cutting hair is OPENminded and another like me hwo keeps kesh is CLOSEDMINDED ?? not judging..just observing...

Very nice post Gyani ji.

For me open mindedness and close mindedness is a mental state and nothing to do with hair on head.
In Punjab where many people have chose to cut their hair, there still exists female infanticide and fetuside.
Are those people open minded for cutting their hair or close minded for killing daughters.

 

[OpenmindedSingh]

"As I understand it, keeping hair means you get money and a car, losing the hair, your on your own."

At this point, I can say, no, that's not really the case. That was just a fear tactic employed by my parents.

 

[mr2guysingh]

Are you sure it is a fear tactic? And why do you even want to cut your hair? How do you think life will be easier for you? Girls, friends, etc?

 

[OpenmindedSingh]

I've mentioned my reasoning several times throughout this thread.

I don't like my dhari, and I am going through this seemingly endless cycle of guilt whenever I cut it. I don't think I'm ever going to like my dhari (at least not any time soon) and I hate living through this endless cycle of guilt, which leads to fear, anxiety, and anger.

It's kind of like torturing myself mentally.

 

[mr2guysingh]

Don't you press it down? Or do you leave it long? I would press it down and see what you think.

 

[OpenmindedSingh]

I used to gel it and press it down, but it's really thick and long. If I left it uncut, it would reach past my chest by now.