Lust & Sexuality

[ikebalsingh]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

SORATH, FIFTH MEHL, SECOND HOUSE, ASHTAPADEES:​

ONE UNIVERSAL CREATOR GOD. BY THE GRACE OF THE TRUE GURU:​

They read scriptures, and contemplate the Vedas; they practice the inner cleansing techniques of Yoga, and control of the breath. But they cannot escape from the company of the five passions; they are increasingly bound to egotism. || 1 || O Beloved, this is not the way to meet the Lord; I have performed these rituals so many times. I have collapsed, exhausted, at the Door of my Lord Master; I pray that He may grant me a discerning intellect. || Pause || One may remain silent and use his hands as begging bowls, and wander naked in the forest. He may make pilgrimages to river banks and sacred shrines all over the world, but his sense of duality will not leave him. || 2 || His minds desires may lead him to go and dwell at sacred places of pilgrimage, and offer his head to be sawn off; but this will not cause the filth of his mind to depart, even though he may make thousands of efforts. || 3 || He may give gifts of all sorts  gold, women, horses and elephants. He may make offerings of corn, clothes and land in abundance, but this will not lead him to the Lords Door. || 4 || He may remain devoted to worship and adoration, bowing his forehead to the floor, practicing the six religious rituals. He indulges in egotism and pride, and falls into entanglements, but he does not meet the Lord by these devices. || 5 || He practices the eighty-four postures of Yoga, and acquires the supernatural powers of the Siddhas, but he gets tired of practicing these. He lives a long life, but is reincarnated again and again; he has not met with the Lord. || 6 || He may enjoy princely pleasures, and regal pomp and ceremony, and issue unchallenged commands. He may lie on beautiful beds, perfumed with sandalwood oil, but this will led him only to the gates of the most horrible hell. || 7 || Singing the Kirtan of the Lords Praises in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, is the highest of all actions. Says Nanak, he alone obtains it, who is pre-destined to receive it. || 8 || Your slave is intoxicated with this Love of Yours. The Destroyer of the pains of the poor has become merciful to me, and this mind is imbued with the Praises of the Lord, Har, Har. || Second Pause || 1 || 3 ||

Monday, 13th Poh (Samvat 538 Nanakshahi) (Page: 641)

 

[Satjot Kaur]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

This is what happens when religion gets too restrictive. God gave us bodies. Those bodies get sexual urges because that is the way God made these bodies. Why would you be embarrassed about God's work?

As humans, we have the extra responsibility of control over our animal bodies. True control only comes from understanding God's intent. Self-control is only the individual's ego screaming to be heard. Understand that last sentence carefully, because it does not mean that we should not control ourselves. It only speaks to the how and why of controlling ourselves. Self control that is not of God's will is called stubbornness, and there are consequences - like obsession.

In countries where a woman's ankle is considered a sexual thing, the men find a bare ankle unbearably arousing. In countries that saw the mini-skirt go in and out of fashion, and where bikinis are what women use for swimwear, an ankle is just the part of the body that connects the foot to the leg.

What is it that you have an issue with? That you masturbate and some prudish religion says that's bad? It doesn't matter who says what - including me - but it is the why that matters.

Yes, masturbation is particularly bad for guys when you lose precious bodily nutrients, especially zinc, so be sure to take your vitamins. It is also good for guys as it releases toxins, decreases blood pressure, and has a variety of other health benefits. The true issue is moderation. If you are not doing something that you ought to be doing because you are whacking off too often, then whacking off is bad - but the same could be said of anything. If you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing because you are too busy playing video games, then video games are bad. Neither masturbation nor video games are inherently a sin - it is how you use these things in your life that matters.

Looking at pornography - at this point, sometimes it is close impossible to know the karma on that one. If the person in the porn is being degraded, watching that and getting aroused by that kills your soul in large chunks. If the person is unashamed and enjoying it, and is being treated well, and you are not causing any harm by watching it, then it is not a sin. The truth behind that last sentence is difficult to ascertain because we don't always know whether a person is actually enjoying that or was manipulated into pornography.

If you need pornography to masturbate, then you do not need to masturbate. If an image is in your head so much that it is a distraction to you, the relief may be to masturbate. Looking at porn to work yourself up is unreasonable.

 

[drkhalsa]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

Dear Satjot Kaur


Thanks for such a thought ful post

In my opinion each and every thought you have put there is real worth sharing !

and thanks for that

Jatinder Singh

 

[satwant]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

I must congratulate you for having the courage to share the most intimate details of yourself at a forum like this. Glad that you realise that you think you have a problem and is prepared to allow us to advice and at the same time learn from it.

I am hoping that more and more Sikh individuals would come forth and share their concerns on this platform so that appropriate and constructive advice can be given so that all of us can learn.

I am no doctor/shrink and dont profess to know the solutions to your "problem". It would seem that you do not have enough distractions like sports, work, and maybe community service to take your mind off the act.

The world out there needs us and hopefully you will take this opportunity to make a difference rather than spent that time surfing porn. Even if you do surf porn, learn to limit it. Easier said than done, I suppose for a lot of those who think of lust every single moment.

Satwant

 

[consfused boy]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

Thank you. So basically I should not ever punish/feel bad about masturbation. as long as I don't go crazy with it and spend hours and hours away from people because of it it should be okay?

.and I also should keep to a minimum. I always think god might think I am a very bad person because of this.

Thank you.

 

[consfused boy]

Can anyone that knows about Sikhism clarify please?
Thank you.

 

[Archived_Member4]

Confused boy

This is a sensitive topic and people really need to think and analyze backwards to give you a detailed answer that does not leave loose ends that will mislead you.

Having these feelings are normal and everyone when they reach a certain age gets aroused by different things in life. So don’t feel bad when your mind goes into the state where it indulges into a fantasy about a woman’s body. What we have to do as a human to find a way to not distract but to control these fantasies. It requires self control of the body and mind. The next time you get these feelings think about what you are looking at and how you are sitting. So stop what you are doing and try this simple self control exercise. Works best if you are sitting crossed legged. First straighten out your spine so you are not hunched over. Then place your hands together like you are about to do ardas and then place them in between your chest and your elbows close to your sides then close your eyes and take a deep breath in hold it for about 10 seconds then let it go and do not breathe for another 10 seconds holding your breath out for the same amount of time. Slowly increase the time when you hold your breath in and out from 10 to about 30 seconds going up each time by 10 seconds. Once you have reached 2 minutes hold the same posture and breathe normally. Wait about 30 seconds then start repeating the mantra:

hum vi hum tum vi tum Waheguru,
I am by my myself Waheguru

This is a simple mantra that helps clear your mind of any thoughts. Because that is how a person starts indulging into a fantasy, first it is built in your mind and then the person’s body gets involved into that fantasy and the person is no longer in reality. Do not give up on the first try because the mind still can be all over the place thinking am I doing it right or not. Just relax and try to focus on your breathing and when you are doing the mantra focus on what you are saying and pace yourself no need to rush. Repeat the mantra for 5 minutes.

Leave me a private message on this page or a public one; let me know if it worked for you

 

[consfused boy]

Thank you very much.
See on one hand people are telling me its natural and normal to masturbate and have the urges. on the other they are giving me methods to stop doing it. to be honest I dont really want to stop doing it because I will probably go crazy trying to stop myself. and if I do stop for a long time I get wet dreams. which means those fluids are finding a way out one way or the other. I only masturbate once in a while and usually without porn but I just want to know if its okay with the man up there to do this. some people said its natural and that its normal so the man up there would have no problem. others say it is a sin and claim a whole lot of negative effects. I feel a lot of tension if I dont do it. I mean a lot. and I am a very active person. I am not speaking of masturbating to the point where its obssessive and crazy. others in this post said outright that its not a sin to masturbate. is there anyone else who can or wants to confirm that or deny it.
Thank you for sharing with others this very touchy topic.

 

[Admin]

There is a mention of word "semen" in Guru Granth Sahib Ji... you can search for this word in English translations here --> http://www.sikhism.us/English Translation of Siri Guru Granth Sahib.pdf


Please search for word : semen, you will find this word at:

1. Panna : 63
2. Panna : 903
3. Panna : 906
4. Panna : 945
5. Panna : 1036
6. Panna : 1160

 

[Canuck Singh]

Re: Help me please

Oh my friends,

We should not cringe at the discussion of sexuality (like school children). Masturbation is completely natural and without question, an integral and widespread practice. It is actually a healthy practice according to the medical field (you would be a freak if you hadn’t performed it).

Here is a list of scientific and medical journals (these are all journal articles from leading professional that you can look up on you own time):

The therapeutic effects of rational masturbation
Journal of Rational- Emotive and Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy
Volume 13, Number 3


Human Sperm Competition: Ejaculate Adjustment by Males and the Function of Masturbation
Sperm Competition in Humans (book)

journal of biomedical sciences

Endocrine response to masturbation-induced orgasm in healthy men following a 3-week sexual abstinence
World Journal of Urology
Publisher
Springer Berlin / Heidelberg
ISSN
0724-4983 (Print) 1433-8726 (Online)
Issue
Volume 19, Number 5 (2001)


This is just the tip of the ice-burg. There are countless other fields of study on masturbation. There are countless more articles by the medical field and they all come to a consensus that this is natural and normal. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Masturbation is not something “you grow out of either”, you just replace it with sex. There have been many colourful attempts by the religious right and even some quack physicians that sadly try to pathologize masturbation (for there own personal gains). Masturbation is also individualistic in nature; some people do it more than others and it is normal in any case unless you feel you cannot do without it in any scenario.

Only certain kinds of people masturbate.

Survey research debunks this myth that only certain people masturbate. Whether you are 19 or 99, religious and conservative or secular and liberal, whether you are a parent, grandparent, uncle or aunt, whether you get around on your own two legs or use a wheelchair, scooter, crutches, or roller-skates to get around, almost everyone has masturbated at some point in their lives, and most of us continue to do so.


We have to learn to embrace sexuality.

I am sorry, I have to argue that this is absolute bs.

The research is unequivocal to say the least what harm/benefit is apparent from this behaviour.

Significant side-effects were specifically mentioned by the original poster. Including depression, hormonal changes, and other things I will avoid stating here.

Here are some issues that I have with this argument which I will when I have time back with Neuro-endocrine and biochemical reasoning:

- does influence depression
- affects the neuro-endocrine axis and hormone pathways
- induces premature coming
- affects relationships
- can lead to onset of balding
- can influence optimum testosterone production
- can lead to self inflicted harm/abrasion
- can negatively affect the psyche causing increase anxiety/illness

Additionally:
-> Effect of Overstimulation
Overstimulation of the mind-body, affects the brain/nervous bioelectric circuit breaker, the exhaustion of the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal/-testicular axis, very possibly or likely including the hypothalamus-pituitary-thyroid dysfunction too, resulting from the Nervous Excitotoxicity and Inflammation induced by excessive norepinephrine, epinephrine and glutamate (& other excitory neurohormones, for a short-term pleasure reward and the long-term dopamine depletion) and Prostaglandin E2! The hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) exhaustion results in the erratic release of CRH (corticotropin releasing hormone), POMC (proopinomelanocortin), ACTH (adrenocorticotropc hormone), ß-lipotropic hormone, ß-endorphin, α-melanocyte-stimulating hormone (α-MSH), ß-MSH, CA (catecholamines) and TSH (thyroid stimulation hormone), in response to stress, sex and environmental/dyshomeostatic stimuli. Since skin and hair follicles also display a functional equivalent of the HPA axis, sexual exhaustion will also extensively affect your skin (for examples: darkening skins in certain areas such as eye cycles, nips, foreskin, perineum and groins, due to excessive release or trapping of the POMC peptide α-MSH which is also an anti-inflammatory and immunomodulating hormone - anti-tissue abrasion!) and the hair (for examples: hair loss in the scalp and gray hair, but it won't grow hair in your palms although it will destroy your HPA axis.)

--> Effect of Porno
One may experience: Exhaustion with excessive norepinephrine, epinephrine, glutamate and histamine release for headaches, anxiety, stress, no concentration (ADD, attention deficiency disorder?) , eye redness, low energy, fatigue, and going limp. Overproduction of androgen hormones, causing adrenal and sex organ fatigue.muscles and joints become very tight and rigid upon release. An extremely exhausted adrenal function can cause an extreme low level of DHEA and cortisol, resulting in fatigue and pains throughout the body, including the back.

--> Effect of Self pleasure
This has additional far reaching effects that even Dr.s and mainstream individuals don't realise. Can hyperactivate the enzyme Monoamine oxidases (MAO) for dopamine-DOPAL conversion , where DOPAL stands for 3,4-dihydroxyphenylacetaldehyde. DOPAL is a potent neurotoxin to cause Parkinson's-like brain lesions, and its resulted cognitive impairment is very similar to autism. In addition to DOPAL, norepinephine and epinephrine can be converted to 3,4-dihydroxyphenylglycoaldehyde (DOPEGAL) by MAO too. DOPEGAL has been found to trigger apoptosis and cause the loss of CNS neurons. Therefore, the synergic destructive effects of both DOPAL and DOPEGAL accelerates death of nerve cells, as seen in SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and dysfunctional disorders of development and aging.

In summary: Laiman's terms...
- Any type of sexual activity (pornography, self pleasing, etc.) can cause the following effects.
* Premature *&^*&^# (you know what)
* Anxiety
* Indirect Hairloss (over long term)
* Depressive symptoms, and disease like symptoms (Alzheimers Parkinsons - over a longer term)
* Pain symtoms, low back or other
* Lethargy or Apathy towards life
* Inability to arouse (when married for example)
* Chronic imbalance in hormones
* Chronic parasympathetic innervation abrasion (nervous cell Axonotmesis - which is a term that describes damange to nerve endings).
* Impotence
* Prostatic Swelling
* ADDITION: STDs if one is promiscous can accentuate any of the above
* Damange to Adrenals or other Visceral Organs.
* *** THE LIST CAN GO ON AND ON.

So as per above I agree that any pre-maritcal obscenities can cause significant problems., And like some of the thread responses it does need to be discussed, because people may have these problems but not be willing to talk about it.

Now for one thing, don't get me wrong I am not saying that se* is bad. What I am stating from the above is the physiological effects of the acts stated. However, the same does not apply for married couples and I'll tell you why.

MARRIED COUPLES BENEFIT BECAUSE:
* The heart rate is raised sufficiently to induce an appropriate cellular environment and protein turnover rate for appropriate hormone production and functioning
* Abrasion is unlikely preventing Nervous damage
* Normal patterns of Neuro input occur (arousal, hormone release) and early coming is not influenced. *The body is a biomechanical, engineered machine, it can run optimally if it does what it is designed to do.
* Appropriate nerves are stimulated, as well as hormone release (oxytocin) to enhanced the Love between married people (This is why I mention Married people, as multiple partners has the issue of STDs - which I wont discuss here, and the nervous system is not negatively stimulated by stress hormones due to lack of commitment, or if a person perceives it to be taboo etc.)

TO SUMMARISE:
- Pornography, self excitement, and over stimulation lead to a host of neuro-endocrinological problems that MOST people will not be willing to share or talk about because it is a touchy issue, and becaue of the Internet and Promicuity of people today and POOR Advice people are going to PRIVATELY SUFFER.
- Sexual excitement of any kind is perfectly okay when shared between a Loving couple.

IF ANYONE HAS experienced any problems due to the above, please send me a private message and I will explain solutions (which even your Dr's won't be able to tell you) to over come Stress related, or other issues. *** I AM A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL AND SCIENTIST - no Lie I am willing to explain any of my statements, and to post Evidence if required. If you want to talk about anything in confidence I will show you solutions to overcome what can manifest into a chronic problem, possibly influencing a person's married life further down the road.

 

[Canuck Singh]

Thank you very much.
See on one hand people are telling me its natural and normal to masturbate and have the urges. on the other they are giving me methods to stop doing it. to be honest I dont really want to stop doing it because I will probably go crazy trying to stop myself. and if I do stop for a long time I get wet dreams. which means those fluids are finding a way out one way or the other. I only masturbate once in a while and usually without porn but I just want to know if its okay with the man up there to do this. some people said its natural and that its normal so the man up there would have no problem. others say it is a sin and claim a whole lot of negative effects. I feel a lot of tension if I dont do it. I mean a lot. and I am a very active person. I am not speaking of masturbating to the point where its obssessive and crazy. others in this post said outright that its not a sin to masturbate. is there anyone else who can or wants to confirm that or deny it.
Thank you for sharing with others this very touchy topic.

Dear Ji

Please allow some time to read my above post. What you are setting yourself up for now is significant para-sympathetic nervous system issues that you will eventually resort to drugs to resolve. Forget the part about whether it is a sin or not, and listen closely. If you want to have a fulfilling and loving relationship in the future you will benefit from avoiding this activity. You will influence your hormonal pathways, and you will cause problems such as premature coming, influence of hair loss amongst other issues. You will wonder what is going no and you will look towards doctor's for advice, and they do not know how to solve these issues, and you will be given drugs and then you will look for external aids, which will just cause greater problems down the line.

Please take time to send me a personal message and I will provide you with natural and holistic measures to overcome these issues and prevent further deterioration of your neuro-endocrine axis. Causing greater problems unbeknowest to you or any of these self proclaimed experts who are giving you illegitimate advice.

Regards

 

[Jaspreet08]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

My 2 cents on the topic:
- From personal experience I've found that the more you try to control these urges - the worse off you become. You create enormous internal pressure. It is better to see them and feel them as natural part of being human. Try honor them, instead of simply going with them.
- Secondly, I don't think it is a sin to masturbate. But as some mentioned earlier in a post - it can lead to host of poor decisions or "sins". I cannot speak for anyone else, but I for one am not spiritually developed enough where I can simply do it, and not be attached it. The same for sex - it is a natural, very fun experience, but we - spiritually underdeveloped people - get so attached to the experience that it can lead to harm for ourselves or our partner.
- Try to go slow, my friend. Be easy on yourself. Ask the Infinitely Merciful Creator for strength.

Jaspreet

 

[Canuck Singh]

- From personal experience I've found that the more you try to control these urges - the worse off you become. You create enormous internal pressure. It is better to see them and feel them as natural part of being human. Try honor them, instead of simply going with them.

In regards to this whole situation, I would not say that the solution is to 'control' these urges. However, if anyone distrusts the science, the research, the nature towards being happy and healthy, go ahead and try it. You will drive yourself into a hole, and it will get deeper and deeper. It is unsafe for anyone on this thread to encourage or say that such behavior is healthy. Because it is not, as it will lead to real physical problems.

- Secondly, I don't think it is a sin to masturbate. But as some mentioned earlier in a post - it can lead to host of poor decisions or "sins". I cannot speak for anyone else, but I for one am not spiritually developed enough where I can simply do it, and not be attached it. The same for sex - it is a natural, very fun experience, but we - spiritually underdeveloped people - get so attached to the experience that it can lead to harm for ourselves or our partner.

Again not questioning the Spiritual nature of the question at hand. Nature is Pure and honest, and the human physiology is designed to be in its natural stable form. Even the way we breathe when we breathe 'unnaturally' alters our physiology causing stress, anxiety and dysfunction. Once again, no one here is able to physically prevent others from doing harm but here is an analogy. Once individuals thought that Smoking had no harm or consequence, the state of the diseased individuals says otherwise. What was commonly thought as good is now deemed destructive. The same goes with the harmful effects of alcohol, contributing to diseases such as alzhemiers, peripheral neuropathies, parkinsons, disrupting pregnancy amongst others. The same goes with self pleasuring, it is not natural and it will cause physiological changes in the brain, in the hormones of the body which will in the long run cause more harm than good, including all the above listed issues

 

[ikebalsingh]

HI abc.def

Human nature is same as ur id name. It will go smoothly then it makes little turn and becomes blank at dot and then again start smoothly for a while. Thats why if u read guru granth sahib ji it also talks about human dual nature.

Sometimes he is animal full with kam, krodh, lobh, moh n hankaar and sometimes he is timid deer. Fearful of god after he comes in contact with some worldly activities like

Seeing death of someone
His senses react n says to him. "Hey this is truth. We all have to end here."

Waiting for a examination result

He goes to gurudwara with a demand."Hey god plz give me good grades"


.......Etc.,Etc Examples are unending.

So overall he is animal as well as human. But do u know what differentiate us from animal. Its only the controlling power with in us. As a human we will think about keeping food for someone but as animal we wont. As animal is the time when ur self or ur human form is being overtaken by Maya of the world. This is the time when u have to fight within urself. This is the time when power of control comes in use.
I know its hard to do that bt atleast we can try n we will suceed in using that energy somewhere else.
Kind regards
iqbal singh

 

[consfused boy]

The question at hand is not whether or not masturbation is healthy. It is whether the Sikh religion considers it a sin. I am begginning to think that masturbation is actually a natural thing and that I have to accept it and get on with my day. I can spend a ton of mental energy to stop myself, which can cause me a lot of anxiety and stress, probably more stress than just masturbating and getting over it. I'm not sure if the Sikh religion believes this as a sin though and that is what I am trying to spark discussion over. This is a topic that everyone probably has to deal with and this website is the only place they can really express thier opinions/answers. People may have an extremely difficult time trying to ask their parents, and their parents may not be right on whether or not it is a sin.
Thank you.
any other opinions?

 

[pk70]

"I can spend a ton of mental energy to stop myself, which can cause me a lot of anxiety and stress, probably more stress than just masturbating and getting over it."

That is what canucksingh tried to explain you, his comments are worthy of attention as you are still in that situation.
Regarding" if it is a sin", you wont find anywhere in Sikhism that it is a sin save for a advice not to give importance to Lust, access of sex is defined as lust, sex is not prohibited in Sikhism if it was, why family life would be advocated by Guru ji? Professional can advise you better how not to become slave of lust as they deal with total system - urges and their effects on body. I strongly believe that if it is allowed to go in high gear, it ends in addiction which should be dealt as a disease.

 

[ikebalsingh]

I hope confused boy canucksingh explained you n then pk70 n then me again.
Try to understand what is lust thinking about sex again n again. I mean a person is sick.

We have a dual nature sometimes its animal n sometimes its human in this kalyug. If we are given a birth of human then it means we should not behave like animal. we should try to control ourselves.

What makes you think masturbation is actually a natural thing: It is then when you cant control and time you have to spend a ton of mental energy to stop this, which can cause you a lot of anxiety and stress, probably more stress than just masturbating and getting over it.

What makes masturbation unnatural thing:
-When you see porn to make yourself aroused.
-When you are sick n try to think nothing else but sex specially when talking or seeing females or opposite sex members.
-When you are doing it over n over again n making it a habit.your body is also a system which will start reacting with your habit.

SIKH RELIGION NEVER SAYS A NATURAL THING AS SIN.

Plz try to know what is natural n unnatural.Ask yourself as you are decider.

There are lots of ways of controlling it. It doesnt mean that you require tons of mental energy to stop it but if you listen kirtan n be in company of saints n also yoga n meditation can help you a lot.

I know its hard to do that bt atleast we can try n we will suceed in using that energy somewhere else.
Kind regards
iqbal singh

 

[consfused boy]

Thank you Iqbal for your response and everyone else's. I feel you have made some good points, however some of the wording is making some points a little unclear. So Iqbal, I want to recap your last post into shorter statements and please do correct me if I have misinterpreted your statements.

1) We are human and that means we DO have the ability to control ourselves.
2) Being humans, we still have animal like instincts, hormone imbalances that occur naturally and signals in our body's to tell us when we have to pee, number 2 etc. we also get Sexual urges.

3)Are you saying: If one feels this sexual tension building up and releases it though masturbation it is okay. It is not considered a sin as it is the humans way of getting rid of this tension. Almost a natural thing like having to do the number 2 in the washroom. or having to pee. we feel the tension and then we pee..... tension gone.


4) You are saying that one shouldn't look at porn to get aroused and create this sexual tension on purpose and shouldn't think about sex etc all the time.

Please read #3 carefully and any other please comment. These are not necessarily my opinions or Iqbal's opinions, however comments on the validity on the statements in regards to the Sikh religion are much appreciated.
Thank you all.

 

[Jaspreet08]

- Sexual excitement of any kind is perfectly okay when shared between a Loving couple.

I was kinda resistant to this statement when I first read, but my gut feeling is that you are right. Sex between a loving couple has to have a way different neuro-chemical response.

You mentioned the release of oxytocin during sex. Can you explain its role? I know it is used during pregnancy and for lactation.

 

[Sagefrakrobatik]

I havent read all the post but this is my take on sexuality. First let me just say I have masturbated before but I dont let it control me. Maybe once or twice a year. Although I was raised Catholic, Catholics tradition teaches sex is only allowed in marriage and is only allowed for procreation purposes, in other words contraception and condoms are out of the question. It has been almost 7 yrs since the last time I was physically intimate with a female. It wasnt religion that made me abstain from sexual activity it was my little sister. Around this time I heard all these stories and all these guys who were trying to get with my sister it hurt at the time and it was hard for me to have relationship with females because I would always think of my sister. Well now she lives with her boyfriend and I have grown to accept that. They've been together for almost a year now, so I'm fairly impressed. I believe that sexual intimacy should be dependent on the degree of initmacy and the amount of time the two have been dating. It should be a reflection of the level of commitment the two has had for each other. Just dont become a slave to your sexuality. Dont let sexuality be the only thing that defines you.
Its hard for Muslims to because they cant even date! Also, some legends state that everytime you masturbate it is like killing Ali 80s! Imagine that! If I was raised in that culture I could possibly relate but the truth of the matter is that its hard for me to grasp these restrictions on sexuality because most of the people Ive known have failed in their relationships or atleast have failed a few times with previous ones to come to the one they are at now. Its impossible to get it right at the first time. My cousin was dating this girl for 7 yrs and she got an annulment a year after they got married. Human beings are so complex and there are so many of us out their its impossible to tell who we should spend the rest of our lives with without some kind of divine intervention. this isnt to say that long term monogomous relationships can work or that they shouldnt be aimed for but it isnt as easy as some would like to believe.