Lust & Sexuality

[spnadmin]

shearwater ji

Very interesting comments! In Sikhism, fasting is not approved -- with the view from Gurbani that it is a form of renunciation that is not effective in achieving enlightenment -- the divine light. The jyoti or divine light is essential if we want to overcome the sense of psychological separation that brings on anxiety and suffering (often at the root of sexual addictions). Where there is agreement is in the line where you quote Paul:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

In Gurbani

ਮਾਝ ਮਹਲਾ ੪ ॥
maajh mehalaa 4 ||
Maajh, Fourth Mehl:

ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਪੜੀਐ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗੁਣੀਐ ॥
har gun parreeai har gun guneeai ||
Read of the Lord's Glories and reflect upon the Lord's Glories.


ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮ ਕਥਾ ਨਿਤ ਸੁਣੀਐ ॥
har har naam kathhaa nith suneeai ||
Listen continually to the Sermon of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.


ਮਿਲਿ ਸਤਸੰਗਤਿ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਏ ਜਗੁ ਭਉਜਲੁ ਦੁਤਰੁ ਤਰੀਐ ਜੀਉ ॥੧॥
mil sathasangath har gun gaaeae jag bhoujal dhuthar thareeai jeeo ||1||
Joining the Sat Sangat, the True Congregation, and singing the Glorious Praises of the Lord, you shall cross over the treacherous and terrifying world-ocean. ||1||


ਆਉ ਸਖੀ ਹਰਿ ਮੇਲੁ ਕਰੇਹਾ ॥
aao sakhee har mael karaehaa ||
Come, friends, let us meet our Lord.

ਮੇਰੇ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਮ ਕਾ ਮੈ ਦੇਇ ਸਨੇਹਾ ॥
maerae preetham kaa mai dhaee sanaehaa ||
Bring me a message from my Beloved.


ਮੇਰਾ ਮਿਤ੍ਰੁ ਸਖਾ ਸੋ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਮੁ ਭਾਈ ਮੈ ਦਸੇ ਹਰਿ ਨਰਹਰੀਐ ਜੀਉ ॥੨॥
maeraa mithra sakhaa so preetham bhaaee mai dhasae har narehareeai jeeo ||2||
He alone is a friend, companion, beloved and brother of mine, who shows me the way to the Lord, the Lord of all. ||2||

ਮੇਰੀ ਬੇਦਨ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰਾ ਜਾਣੈ ॥
maeree baedhan har gur pooraa jaanai ||
My illness is known only to the Lord and the Perfect Guru.


ਹਉ ਰਹਿ ਨ ਸਕਾ ਬਿਨੁ ਨਾਮ ਵਖਾਣੇ ॥
ho rehi n sakaa bin naam vakhaanae ||
I cannot continue living without chanting the Naam.

ਮੈ ਅਉਖਧੁ ਮੰਤ੍ਰੁ ਦੀਜੈ ਗੁਰ ਪੂਰੇ ਮੈ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਉਧਰੀਐ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
mai aoukhadhh manthra dheejai gur poorae mai har har naam oudhhareeai jeeo ||3||
So give me the medicine, the Mantra of the Perfect Guru. Through the Name of the Lord, Har, Har, I am saved. ||3||


ਹਮ ਚਾਤ੍ਰਿਕ ਦੀਨ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸਰਣਾਈ ॥
ham chaathrik dheen sathigur saranaaee ||
I am just a poor song-bird, in the Sanctuary of the True Guru,


ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਬੂੰਦ ਮੁਖਿ ਪਾਈ ॥
har har naam boondh mukh paaee ||
who has placed the Drop of Water, the Lord's Name, Har, Har, in my mouth.


ਹਰਿ ਜਲਨਿਧਿ ਹਮ ਜਲ ਕੇ ਮੀਨੇ ਜਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਲ ਬਿਨੁ ਮਰੀਐ ਜੀਉ ॥੪॥੩॥
har jalanidhh ham jal kae meenae jan naanak jal bin mareeai jeeo ||4||3||
The Lord is the Treasure of Water; I am just a fish in that water. Without this Water, servant Nanak would die. ||4||3||

This shabad is by the 4th Guru, Guru Ram Das Dev ji, and it can be found on Page 95 of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Maharaj.

Thank you for a good post.

 

[singhisking101]

A good idea is to get some filtering software and to set it to block those sites. That way ull think twice before going. :happy:

 

[shearwater]

As a Christian I believe that God gives the Holy Spirit (the Paraclete) to guide my conscience and provide checks which preclude looking at things that are prurient in nature (those things which entice sexual appetites and lust). Even though I am not perfect, I confess no interest in dwelling on those things. And as example, I read in the Book of Job from the Old Testament that Job argued his integrity before God by saying that he did not look on a virgin, which I take to mean that he was not lustful toward women other than his wife. So one aspect of integrity taken from that is that virtuous men do not look lustfully at women as sexual objects. Jesus also taught that whoever looks on a woman to lust after her commits adultery in his heart. Adultery is a capital crime enshrined in the Ten Commandments.

You are right because one time a pop up come on my computer with a nude woman in a sensuous pose.

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

quote:
You are right because one time a pop up come on my computer with a nude woman in a sensuous pose.....

Its just a picture.....shearwater Ji....
Just like I wont shy away in terror from a picture of a Lion roaring or a wild buffalo charging at me...i wouldnt be tunred on by a mere picture.....some of my younger students used to ogle at the naked mannequins in stores when i took them for "economic study tours"....whats that..whats that.. "naked woman ..lah the wiser ones woudl whsiper while looking out for me slyly....NOW they just ignore them..knowing its just a piece of plastic...the One on your computer screen is a number of PIXELS only....

no offense jio:welcome:

 

[Randip Singh]

quote:
You are right because one time a pop up come on my computer with a nude woman in a sensuous pose.....

Its just a picture.....shearwater Ji....
Just like I wont shy away in terror from a picture of a Lion roaring or a wild buffalo charging at me...i wouldnt be tunred on by a mere picture.....some of my younger students used to ogle at the naked mannequins in stores when i took them for "economic study tours"....whats that..whats that.. "naked woman ..lah the wiser ones woudl whsiper while looking out for me slyly....NOW they just ignore them..knowing its just a piece of plastic...the One on your computer screen is a number of PIXELS only....

no offense jio:welcome:

Some nice points.

I remember a Sikh website where I posted pictures of body builders and some extreme people found them rude and offensive. They said that a naked human body was obscene.....how is God's creation obscene?

I think we can take this business to the nth degree. Kaam or the obsession with sex in the real enemy. I have one friend who finds holding a tomato in his had rousing and sensual....the point is the problem is within.

Is maturbation wrong? No
Is looking at pornography wrong....no but what it can do is give the wrong impression of men and women and one can see them as objects of gratification.

Obsession with sex, food, money etc etc is all a problem of equal weight. A bit of discipline may help in such instances.

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

YES Randip Ji. Hit the nail On the head.
The problem is inside the head..not outside.

 

[yobhuller]

My brother I've gone thorough that, no body help me but my self and Vaheguru b'cause I was to shy to talked about. my suggestion to you is that, when the urge started inside you, when you fill that you're falling the path again the blood inside you pumping and your brain telling you to indulge into it, put your shoes on go to Gurdwara, do some sewa and you must recite simran while doing sewa. I was crying once infront of Sri Guru Granth Shahib because i can't help my self and Baba ji always listen to those that come to him, he showed the way to fight this. Practise simran is very helpfull my brother. I know how you fell inside jeparis2@hotmail.com

 

[prabhsmart]

I was myself slave of such things. things started when I was at sewa for a whole night at a Akhan path, jsut two nights of listening Akhan path changed me. i started controlling myself. then couple of months later another sewa at akhan path, i came back home and deleted all the matter and destroyed my Dvd back up also.
Things improved to such an extend that i could remove my internet service as it was only require for porn download only.
I do see porn some times, but that once a month for a limited time.

Perform an ardas and request Guruji to help u, he will guide u and become a part of sewa in ur Gurudware.
It will take time, but nothing is impossible for ur Guruji.

Best of Luck.

Guru Rakha.

 

[shearwater]

There is a passage in James 1 that indicates that sin comes first through the mind by enticing our curiosity, perhaps like the fabled snake in the Garden of Eden who asked Eve whether God really said the fruit was not "good" to eat. By lingering on that thought, Eve succumbed and sin first entered the world.

13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

The Christian's response to evil and lust should be as a dead man. He reckons his life to be dead (unresponsive) to sin but fully alive to God. Dead men cannot be enticed by evil desire. The Apostle Paul, aware of the possibility of sinning and his own weakness without God's help said, "I die daily."

Interesting dialogue. God bless you, friend!

 

[Randip Singh]

I was myself slave of such things. things started when I was at sewa for a whole night at a Akhan path, jsut two nights of listening Akhan path changed me. i started controlling myself. then couple of months later another sewa at akhan path, i came back home and deleted all the matter and destroyed my Dvd back up also.
Things improved to such an extend that i could remove my internet service as it was only require for porn download only.
I do see porn some times, but that once a month for a limited time.

Perform an ardas and request Guruji to help u, he will guide u and become a part of sewa in ur Gurudware.
It will take time, but nothing is impossible for ur Guruji.

Best of Luck.

Guru Rakha.

"I controlled myself"

Give yourself to Waheguru and accept his/her will, then you won't have to worry about controlling this yourself. The "I" equates to self which is in turn self will. We are trying to be Gurmukh i.e. that which is under the sway of Gods will.

 

[Randip Singh]

There is a passage in James 1 that indicates that sin comes first through the mind by enticing our curiosity, perhaps like the fabled snake in the Garden of Eden who asked Eve whether God really said the fruit was not "good" to eat. By lingering on that thought, Eve succumbed and sin first entered the world.

13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

The Christian's response to evil and lust should be as a dead man. He reckons his life to be dead (unresponsive) to sin but fully alive to God. Dead men cannot be enticed by evil desire. The Apostle Paul, aware of the possibility of sinning and his own weakness without God's help said, "I die daily."

Interesting dialogue. God bless you, friend!

Hi Shearwater ji,

If you notice within Sikhi we do not actually have a concept of sin. only that of self will and God's will.

 

[shearwater]

Regarding fasting . . . Jesus is our example and he commanded, "fast and pray that you enter not into temptation."

I am told by those who have fasted that fasting sharpens the mind when difficult and painful decisions must be made. It also confirms what Jesus said of himself, "I have meat to eat that you know not of.", that our bodily life is totally dependent upon God and that we can get along without food even and feel God's overwhelming power in sustaining us through fasting.

Once when I lost a girl friend, I fasted (did not take solid nourishment, i.e. food) for one week. . . out of sorrow. When the fast was done my mourning was also done.

In another case, a prominent Christian leader found himself in sin known only to him and determined to overcome it. With nine months of intense prayer, Bible reading and fasting periodically he gained his self respect and got victory in his soul over his sin!

I suppose in the Sikh paradigm this would be something like meditating on Naam.

 

[spnadmin]

shearwater ji

If I were to fast I would fall prey to a low blood sugar headache -- and would not be able to think clearly. So in times of stress and decision-making I try not to fast and put things in the hands of God as much as possible. :idea:

 

[shearwater]

Fasting is only for those who can do so and under the advice of a medical doctor. People with diabetes should not fast food. There are other ways to fast such as deny yourself creature comforts such as television or entertainment.

 

[shearwater]

Randip Singh:

In the Christian paradigm, sin is the transgression of the law, i.e. the Ten Commandments . . . or God's revelation of his will.

Shearwater