Sikh Girls: A Confused Lot. Are Parents To Blame?

[noor_e_khalsa]

I STRONGLY AGREE WITH YOU.... My Guru said "rehat piari mujhko sikh piara nahey"..... Sikhism is nobody's personal property. One has to be deep into it to be a sikh.... weak perish, strong prevail... and as always said "Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh".... Khalsa always wins...

 

[Anonymous_Kaur]

waheguru ji ka khalsa..waheguru ji ki fateh !!

i ave 2 saii adt da parents r 2 blame..cos dey can teach da kids ..alot bwt sikhi..n put dem in da rite directions !!

 

[BhagatSingh]

waheguru ji ka khalsa..waheguru ji ki fateh !!

i ave 2 saii adt da parents r 2 blame..cos dey can teach da kids ..alot bwt sikhi..n put dem in da rite directions !!

Try speaking in english.

 

[Anonymous_Kaur]

Try speaking in english.

ohhh...srryyyy singh ji !!

i wz in a rush..buh fanx for da advice..lmaoo !! :rofl!!:

1 mistake tho..init !!

 

[Archived_Member1]

ohhh...srryyyy singh ji !!

i wz in a rush..buh fanx for da advice..lmaoo !! :rofl!!:

1 mistake tho..init !!

wait, let me guess...

you're from southall?

i think your accent might be difficult for some non-brits to understand.

 

[BhagatSingh]

wait, let me guess...

you're from southall?

i think your accent might be difficult for some non-brits to understand.

It wasn't the accent, I am pretty good with accents:}{}{}:. It was the language... :whisling:.. so what language was that again?
Just kidding.

Anonymous Kaur, if you make an opinion try to back it up. Like you said parents are to blame... why do you think that way?

And try to put your views in english that always helps people understand what your saying.

 

[Anonymous_Kaur]

It wasn't the accent, I am pretty good with accents:}{}{}:. It was the language... :whisling:.. so what language was that again?
Just kidding.

Anonymous Kaur, if you make an opinion try to back it up. Like you said parents are to blame... why do you think that way?

And try to put your views in english that always helps people understand what your saying.

ok..well..i'm nt just blamin da parents fully cos i knw..that some parents do try buh it's just that the kids dnt want to listen..init..

buh..i also knw few parents that dont teach their kids anything about sikhi !!

buh few do..n kids jus backfire !! so i blame both the kids and parents !! looll

i hpe dis makes sense

 

[BhagatSingh]

ok..well..i'm nt just blamin da parents fully cos i knw..that some parents do try buh it's just that the kids dnt want to listen..init..

buh..i also knw few parents that dont teach their kids anything about sikhi !!

buh few do..n kids jus backfire !! so i blame both the kids and parents !! looll

i hpe dis makes sense

Your views changed completely, when you answered again. And yes it makes sense.

 

[spnadmin]

I have seen this with 2 or 3 new members, and with a delightful young woman in India that I know from sikhsevadars. My nephew and niece are also very fluent in neo-English.

It is the neo English language of text messaging by cell phone. An entirely new system of phonics, vocabulary, spelling (orthography for non native English speakers) and grammar has emerged. First it began as abbreviations. You can see 'plz' for please - a phonetic shortening of the main sounds. Just like some ancient languages. But now new developments: 'fort' for thought and 'fink' for think. In other words 'f' substituted for 'th' Those fluent in new English have invented it over time as a culture of communicators using a new medium of communication. History repeats itself. Someone needs to do a study before the code evolves into something even more complex.

Think about it. We argue like hyenas over translations of SGGS. We are struggling to learn Gurmukhi script for our spiritual development. Side by side with all of this, an entirely new language is being used. It is wonderful! Language is a magical thing! The only thing more magical than this new language is the cloud of thick blue light in the back of a movie theater as young people are txt'ing and sms'ing each other by phone in the dark.

Anonymous Kaur ji, do not be concerned.

 

[BhagatSingh]

I have seen this with 2 or 3 new members, and also with a delightful young woman in India that I know from sikhsevadars. My nephew and niece are also very fluent in this new language.

It is the neo English language of text messaging by cell phone. An entirely new system of phonics, vocabulary, spelling (orthography for non native English speakers) and grammar has emerged. First it began as abbreviations. You can see 'plz' for please - a phonetic shortening of the main sounds. Just like some ancient languages. But now new developments: 'fort' for thought and 'fink' for think. In other words 'f' substituted for 'th' Those fluent in this new English have invented this over time as a culture of communicators using a new medium of communication. History repeats itself. Someone needs to do a study before the code evolves into something even more complex.

Think about it. We argue like hyenas over translations of SGGS. We are struggling to learn Gurmukhi script for our spiritual development. Side by side with all of this, an entirely new language is being used. It is wonderful! Language is a magical thing! The only thing more magical than this new language is the cloud of thick blue light in the back of a movie theater as young people are txt'ing and sms'ing each other by phone in the dark.

English is the worst language!
For example, there are a million ways of spelling one word.

Know
no
noe
noh
hno
now
kkkkkkno
kkno
kkkkkkknow
nnnnnnooooooo
nnoo
nooooooee
nooohhh
:rofl!!:
Maybe I exagerated a little but english is still a horrible language!!

 

[Anonymous_Kaur]

English is the worst language!
For example, there are a million ways of spelling one word.

Know
no
noe
noh
hno
now
kkkkkkno
kkno
kkkkkkknow
nnnnnnooooooo
nnoo
nooooooee
nooohhh
:rofl!!:
Maybe I exagerated a little but english is still a horrible language!!

bad grammar init !!

 

[BhagatSingh]

bad grammar init !!

??

 

[BaljeetSingh]

This is a very important topic of discussion. I live outside India and have a son and a daughter. They both will go to middle school in next few years. I have nephews and nieces who lived in other countries outside India for most of their lives. One thing that I have learned living outside India is that the school system puts lots of efforts in imparting a lot of self confidence in the students. The teachers and the school system works towards letting kids grow into what they believe in rather than what others (parents/friends) tell them. I agree 100% with this approach.

Having said this, I come across situations where Sikh students (both boys and girls) are troubled by what they go through in school. Their "friends" taunt them for having long hair, not making eye brows, not shaving legs, etc. The young Sikh kids them come home and cry in front of their parents that their friends taunt them, or they can not go swimming because their legs are not shaved, or they can not play basket ball because they have to wear shorts and shave their legs. Their confusion is further aggravated if any of their cousins or sikh family friends' kids make eye brows, trim beard, etc. The parents then bow to the pressure and let their kids cut their hair, make eye brows, etc.

I just want to say this to the parents and their kids...

#1. You define what you want to be. If you do not want to cut your hair, make eye brows, etc. then no matter what your friends say or do, you should not bow to the pressure.

#2. If you cut your hair because of what your friends, then I would say.....Kudos to you...You are sacrificing your religion for your friends....I wonder if your friends would reciprocate the gesture.

#3. If your friends do not support you in what you believe in then they are not worthy to be your friends.

#4. If you think you are left alone in your peer circle, then I would say, look around....you will definitely find someone who will respect you because of what you believe in.
poKru nIru ivrolIAY mwKnu nhI rIsY ]7]
pokhur neer viroleeai maakhun nehee reesai
Churning the water in the pond, no butter is produced. ||7||

I have been living in the states for the last 11 years now and I have been to various professional and personal meetings where alcohol is served. I do not drink and always ask the waitress if I can get a non alcoholic drink - which I always get (eg. Virgin colada, sherly temple, etc..). There has been many instances when I was asked by my peers to start drinking, and I always politely say - No Thanks. Then one day this guy started arguing with me why I do not drink. My answer was simple - Because I do not want to. He said why don't I start drinking? There is nothing wrong in drinking, Many Sikhs drink ...and so on....I am backward, etc. etc. - To all his arguments, I gave one simple reply. I told him "If you will not stop drinking because I ask you to then there is no reason why I should start drinking because you are asking me to".

 

[amar7979]

Excellent Baljeet ji !! Way to go...
"Why try to fit in when you are born to Outstand"
(as i keep on repeating)

 

[BaljeetSingh]

"Why try to fit in when you are born to Outstand"
(as i keep on repeating)

Good one....I like it....I think I will use this....

 

[spnadmin]

Namaste ji

You have posted this message on Leisure and on General sections of the Forum. This is the 3rd time, exact same message. So I am deleting it. Everything has been merged as one thread in Leisure.

Thank you.

 

[lionprinceuk]

I blame liberalism, and parents not knowing how to explain stuff to their daughters. I also blame people thinking that all "religious" people are decent, and not understanding many "religious" people actualy are lberal in their values, which causes even more mess.

 

[Prem]

I would like to reccomend that all men who complain about Sikh girls read a book called 'Shame' by a social activist called Jaswinder Sanghera. Jaswinder was born into an immigrant Sikh family in Derby, England, and when she was 14 years old she was shown a photograph of a man in India who she was to be married to. She ran away from home and faced years of persecution by her family because she refused to be forced into a marriage and choosing her own husband. Her younger sister was not so lucky. She succumbed to a forced marriage and commited suicide by setting fire to herself.

Jasvinder Sanghera works as a counsellor and operates a domestic violence shelter for Sikh, Muslim and Hindu women. She campaigns against forced marriage and honour killings and crimes against women and men done in the name of family 'izzat'

Sikh women are subject to the tyranny of social pressures, of misogyny, double standards and hypocrisy. Any thread that singles out girls says alot about the backwards attitude Sikh women have to fight against. Someone said they 'blame liberalism'. I love liberalism. Liberalism preserves the rights of individuals to choose their own path in life, to choose their own marriage partners. It is the source of all of our freedoms, including the freedom to practise our own religion, including the right to wear the 5 K's at schools and workplaces.

Too many Sikh women suffer under the burden of the hypocrisy and violence of backwards Punjabi culture. I applaud all Sikh women who manage to overcome this feudal and oppressive mindset.

 

[lionprinceuk]

the same type of liberalism that leads to hedonism?

yeah, I do feel sorry for Ms. Sanghera, and crimes against men and women these are bad.

A 14 year old that is quite shocking, but nowadays parents aren't showing pictures to their 14 year old daughters, liberalism is making 14 year olds get a bf/gf these days, as they say, they have gone "advanced" lol

here's also some comments from facebook:

http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/wall.php?id=10781022820


Baljinder Dhillon wrote
at 1:52pm on August 15th, 2008

I have just finished reading Jasvinder Sanghera's book "Shame" (my fiancé insisted I have a read after becoming very annoyed by the authors portrayal of our community). The one thing that bugged me about this book is that while we all understand that this is about one woman’s struggle in one family and that this is her own view and experience entirely; she had nothing positive at all to say about our heritage.

After reading this I personally think that Sanghera is nothing but a self absorbed individual with a very warped sense of reality.

I think the lad "Jassey" that she ran of with should write a book. She treated him with no respect what so ever even though he willingly gave her his all to the point of coming back to her when she was so ill and asking her to come back to him. Any man that is big enough to do that after your wife has had 2 affairs behind your back and 2 kids by another man while you bust a gut to build a home deserves either counselling or a medal. Cont....

yeah like viva la liberalism

you only have to go as far as the office to realise that. She does acknowledge in two lines of the book what the Guru Granth Sahib says about equality but fails to make it really clear to the average person reading the book the fundamental differences between Culture and Religion.

All in all – a great book for highlighting to such magnitude all the negatives that we cant deny exist within our culture/community and society and giving those people who raped our land to criticise our values and morals. Stuffy suits sitting in Whitehall funded by us taxpayers putting in place measures to “support us” while struggling with the economy, knife crime, teenage pregnancy, STD’s etc. I suggest that they look to our morals and values of hard work and a strong family ethic to eradicate the problems that are rife in this country today.
Cont...

I also note that all the names of the girls she helps are Pakistani/Muslims who have probably been promised in marriage at birth to relatives, often overseas – another cultural issue which has nothing to do with Islamic religion or Sikhs. Sanghera fails to make a distinction between any of these communities but just lumps them all together constantly referring to her own experience further fuelling the theory that we are all marrying and sleeping with our cousins.

Selfish and narrow minded. An inability to write objectively or in a way to educate the reader: My personal opinion of Ms Sanghera after reading her book “Shame”.

 

[soniadatta_cc]

I read a couple of posts and i observe great views of all people. However, do we realise that we donot have 1 standard answer. Thats the problem. The person who started the post was not really commenting on anyone but trying to point the same matter.

We donot have 1 standard answer. The reason is simple, we donot have a set of laws that differentiate between right and wrong. Hence, our parents DO THEIR WILL in deciding the right and WRONG based on society, friends, trandition and finally RELIGION. When you see christianity, the laws are clear and defined. The parents read them and teach them to their kids. If they dont follow it, They know they are doing wrong. Same case for Muslims.

So, WE WOULD NEED TO TACKLE THIS ISSUE BY UNDERSTANDING what is right and what is wrong as per SIKHISM. I tried it by reading our Scriptures but i realise it requires much more work than we thot it could be.

A very deep and detailed understanding of GURU GRANTH, and clear cut preachings in gurudwaras (like they have in Churches) and strong determination from parents and youth to follow the FAITH in entirety is required.